Sunday, April 18, 2021

Tidying Up

Weren't those positively  glorious uniforms?  The Brits out-do us by quite a ways in dress uniforms.

But today they probably get dry-cleaned,  steam-pressed and put away until the next event requiring them.  I wondered about how the medals were stored.  They are kept in one glass case per man (Didn't see any women - need to look into that Elizabeth - look where you landed)  with them laid out in the order they will be worn.  It seems likely there are special people are designated as so-and-so's medal arrangers.  Good for employment.

And for the eyes that behold them.  Rule  Britannia!  

Further     \

People that have been married for longer than 60 years?  How do they know which one is which? 

Saturday, April 17, 2021

Intermittent Coverage of Prince Philip's funeral

First we committed the worst thing attendees can do.  We were late.  

Miss Manners would take immediate umbrage.  There two events where being late is unacceptable - weddings and funerals.   

We did get there in time to see his coffin shuffled into St. George's Chapel.  This was an unexpected visual - from the camera view (head to toe) it looked like someone put a broom on the casket -homage to

the  help?  We were disabused of that delusion when it was described as his Naval hat and sword.  Still it did give me a shock.  A final joke from the deceased who was something of a wag anyhow.

Unfortunately we did arrive to be on time for the full church service.  Church of England's services are just as paralyzingly dull as any of the other religions.  But the music was beautiful.

As we watched quietly, I thought that if everyone walked at that pace behind the casket, they wouldn't get him into the dirt until well dark. 

Next up are the wakes, limited, I read to 15 guests per venue.  "30 invitees"  "15 waker"s - what the hell - the royals all buying  lotto tickets?

Am now trying to get a line into what are typical post-funeral foods.  I doubt anyone will be serving "Spotted Dick"  or "Eton Mess."  The first is a take-off on fruitcake and the second is  fresh fruit and whipped cream, served in an old-fashioned sundae glass..

I hope to ferret out further (interesting) details.  A long-misplaced illegitimate daughter would be rather fun...but that's wishing for far too much


BBC 1 p.m. news

We did get to see the .the self designed hearse!  Thinking about it there couldn't have been changes, Think "after market" and beef-up the axles, engine  and floor of it.  Caskets are enormously heavy.  Another weight consideration is that according to royal orders they are to be lead-lined which has to add a considerable number of pounds.  That goes far to explain why there were so many pallbearers - I counted eight -on the left side alone. A mortician was quoted telling readers that English oak is non existent these days.  Royals sleeping  in lead jackets include  

Elizbeth, the Queen mother, Princess Diana now joined by Prince Philip and a merry time they must all be having  QE1 was said to be quite amusing when the gin and tonic kicks in.  Philip's smart remarks did make some laugh sometimes.  Just not enough to get away most of them.  I'm surprised no one has collected them and published it.  Philip's Faux Pas ?   Funning With Philip?

As the Beeb has run the same footage three times now -.no more from me unless there is anything else  new or new more exciting such as William and Harry take it to the street?  After getting knee-walking drunk?

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

.One Man's Family - Edited

Our man in Indiana seems to be in a reflective mood

"I am  the oldest of  six children - four boys and two girls.   The older of my sisters was born 17 months after me.  My first youngest brother was born 3 1/2 years.  He passed away three days later from what my sister and I were told was "blue baby syndrome.  He  had been given our father's name so we always referred to him as "Junior."

I often wonder what he would have been like as a brother and how our family may have been different had he survived. 

I was three and half when a third brother surprised us all  when he arrived  just before my 20th birthday.

Along the way we  also acquired a foster  brother though the years.

Our lives have been rich with sibling rivalry  and sibling love. We all get together with our spouses every month (except during  Covid 19.) 

How our lives may have changed had Junior  grown up with us.  We talk about what sort of student and person he would have been; whether he would have married,  

I am sure other people have had a similar experience of losing a sibling at a very young age and pondering the "what if's for" for a lifetime.

Monday, April 12, 2021

Wanna Make a Bet on This?

I am betting my personal limit (50 cents) on this.  That cozily residing in their $14 million mansion here in So.Cal, Harry's wife MeAgain will create some kind of drama just before or during Prince Philip's funeral.  

Serious money seems to be favoring a faux miscarriage to rip Harry away from family onto the first flight back to LA.    

She's a real piece of work, isn't she?

Friday, April 9, 2021

Random Thoughts

of little or no significance.

PRINCE PHILIP DEAD AT 99

As is often said at the death of really old people,  "He/she had a good run."  I would say, "See how long you can last with endless excellent health care?"   

Yes indeed. 

Wondering if his funeral will be televised, I asked friends in Britain and New /Zealand, but no reply yet.  

This still prods curiosity.  Reportedly, he died in Windsor Castle but:  here's the puzzler - will be interred at Frogmore Castle.  Two different places.  No signs of the body being transported for embalming.  Does Windsor have a morticians' suite?  Deep in the bowels of this venerable old place is there a whole crew working away?  Is that eerie?  

I doubt we'll ever know.  Was it the same firm as used for Princess Diana?  best to file this under "We'll Never Know."

I FOUND THEM  GOOGLE ROYAL MORTICIANS

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Miss Cast

 Coming soon - unexpected interruption in the form of a lunch invitation    YES!

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Guest Editor !

Am quite looking forward to a visit from Our Man in Anderson IN 

Monday, April 5, 2021

Don't Take Me Out to the Baseball Game

I loathe baseball.  Yes that makes me a pinko, commie, fag and fill in insults of your own.

Richie insisted on taking me to opening day of the Dodgers.  It was interesting enough - beautiful day-

 grown men running around apparently with no goal...

But the next year, I brought a book.  The picture's around somewhere.

Our compromise:  We have to watch "Jeopardy"  and then the TV is his for the rest of the night.

Works like a charm.

Saturday, April 3, 2021

And here it is

 The Readers' Digest...

Why is Mother Earth still single?

She's Natural,  Magnetic, Hard core,  and  Getting hotter by the decade!

````

I'm afraid to get murdered because the coroner lists the contents of your stomach

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The opposite of mermaid is landlady

,,,,,,

And last and most important --People can't make you crazy if you don't give them the keys



A J0Y0US EASTER -      MAY YOU FIND ALL OF THE EGGS NO HOW CRAZY THE SPOT THEY'RE IN


 

Friday, March 26, 2021

Back Soon

Cast off April 2nd  -  then whoopee! 

Monday, March 22, 2021

A Modest Invention

Patent Pending for the soon to be world-famous Ice Pack You Drink After It Gets Warmer

As with many things in this old world it's simple; it involves materials found in many households.  (Certainly ours)  One can of icy-cold Pacifico (beer).  In this case perfect for broken fingers.  The can fits agreeably in the palm.  

Good results are felt immediately.  There is no waste because you can drink the beer and while you do that, apply a second beer to your palm.

I recommend it.

Friday, March 19, 2021

Out patient Surgery

Next Tuesday 3/23  1 p.m.  Repair via  outpatient surgery

2 broken fingers right or dominent hand 

Index and middle finger/  yes, that one.  

Splint right now, post-opp splint for a month or so; back to normal

Ran  around this a.m.  doctor's appt, then for EKG and blood work.  Waiting for call back to get Covid rapid test.

It's NAP TIME    and I'm going to take one!   Stay well yourselves, heah?


Thursday, March 18, 2021

Back Soon

 Cast tomorrow   THEN I can  type  Hurray!

Thursday, March 11, 2021

A Timely Greeting Card

Imagine the delight a friend would get from this greeting card:

"You're on our minds and in our hearts

You're in our wishes, too - 

We wish you peaceful gentle hours

Each time we think of you,

And because you mean so much to us

We're hoping that you know

We're sending our encouragement

within this warm hello "

Thank you readers

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Great Entertainment - Very Local!

We have "funny houses" out here in Southern California.  The bedrooms and full bathroom live on the first floor and the second floor houses the kitchen, dining room and living room.   We both have favorite chairs.  Richie's is a recliner, shared with Streak our 20 year old cat.  She's a recliner junky.

Mine is an armchair that gives a sweet view of the trees in the back yard through the redwood lattice work fence- an old and fully grown avocado tree (brag here; I grew it from the pit.)  The other big tree has little red berries on it and is h u g e.  I would like to set fire to it and cover where it once was with salt.

The balcony is often host to various creatures:

The hummingbirds have a feeder and hanging flower pots; the odd squirrel passes through and takes one bite of avocdado which ruins it for the rest of us.   Fat Sparrow still hasn't learned that his/her beak is too small to feed from the hummingbird feeder (and never will be.)  But valiantly she/he presses on.  The hummingbirds don't mix it up with Fat Sparrow and  all live in harmony.  

Most recently we had a rat paying calls, but since we now never put out food; (bread crusts) we see him no more.   Fred, our seven year old cat has learned when to expect Ratty and goes to a prime viewing spot until the rat takes off. 

My chosen spot for sitting features a good view of a beautiful Fan Palm Tree"  In the slightest wind, it dips and straightens; comes back and does it all again.  It is absolutely hypnotizing.  

All together, we have a lot to see right off of our balcony.  And hope you do as well.


Tuesday, March 9, 2021

May We Have Our Libraries Back?

 Editor, Daily Breeze:

There are a great many more attendees at a Dodger game than there ever will be in a library.

Sincerely, Nina Murphy


Monday, March 8, 2021

The Liar Who Lies About Lying

In last night's Oprah Special on Prince Harry and his wife Me-Again I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  Oprah did everything but suck Me-Again's toes.  Truly, I'm telling you a Super Sucker Hoover sucks up less. 

Now I understand why I never watched Oprah.

Maybe sucking up pays off in Oprah's ratings as there was a surfeit of giggles.)  They winked and nodded just like in high school.  Occasionally they practiced their acting chops by turning on the "Serious" dial.  

To endear herself (futile in so many circles) Me-Again told an oh-so-cute anecdote about her first days  being introduced to The Firm (the royals call themselves that)  Harry was bringing to meet his grandmother, and Oh!  Horrors!  No one had bothered to show her how to curtsy!  She didn't know anything about it!  Sarah, Duchesse of York had to run out of the castle to the driveway and teach her.

Oprah was being shown around the couple's chicken coop - Chick Inn Hens.  She graciously said  she and Harry wanted to live "authentic lives."  Huh?  Live in a $13 million Santa Barbara mansion and keep chickens.  Yep Chicky that's pretty damned authentic.  She went on to say, "I just love to rescue things." 

Among other loathsome traits I counted four times she used "sharing."  For that alone, she has to die.

Stealing a page from Princess Diana' playbook, she threatened Harry with suicide because no one liked her.  She was not being protected.  Incidentally "protection" fluttered all the way through this dismal exercise in bad taste. 

British social columnist Piers Morgan dubbed  the whole "The Whine-a-Thon.

When Harry joined the party I  sat up straighter to see if they would slobber all over each other as they usually do.  They didn't.  She just gave him the look* and threw a glance at Oprah.  The look said "Aren't men funny?  We rule!"

The look"  Well known by misbehaving husbands; held in reserve by hellbent wives. 

Saturday, March 6, 2021

From Jay's Actual Facts I Didn't Make Up" Column

 Mona Lisa Had Men's Bathroom Privilege's

By the time King Francis I of France ascended to the throne, he was a great fan of Leonardo Da Vinci who was celebrated as the First  Painter, Architect AND Mechanic of the King.  

Leonardo died in 1779 and for reasons known only to himself, King Francis I hung it in his indoor privy.

The game of poker didn't come about until the 18th century, but Mona saw the first royal flush.

A friend asked if it was a party pooper.

I have no idea. 

Friday, March 5, 2021

Do Things Really Comes in Threes?

Thurs.  3/5/21

Here is the first "Thing".    We were dining at Spumoni, the very good Italian restaurant, corner of Prospect and Aviation.  The waiter had just brought us each a glass of red - Cab for Richie and a lovely Pinot Grigio for me.  We made purring noises and while so engaged, didn't notice what had to be Daddy and his beautiful little daughter standing just inside the open door to the patio where regulations say we  must eat.  Civilized dining - inside - is still forbidden. 

The four of his exchanged some light conversation and it evolved that the little girl - maybe five or six - was going to or coming from dancing class at the other end of the parking lot not far from Big Lots.  

Richie admired her fuchsia fleece Uggs and she said proudly, "I wear my toe shoes underneath them!"

Then the Dad signaled to her by tapping his wrist watch and they departed.  So arriving for class.

Our dinners came; we savored them and when the waiter zipped by we each ordered a second glass of wine.  He set them on the table and said, "Compliments of the gentleman and his little girl."  

We were gobsmacked to say the least.  Part of my horror could have been attributed to the fact that both of our wines were $13 each.  So - $26 for a pair of strangers.   Typically, I was exclaiming, "Oh my God, he didn't have to do that multiple times..  'Cause he didn't have to do anything; not even "Have a nice evening.   (to the waiter) Do you know him?"  He said he did and that he would give him my card and profuse  thanks.  Richie, said, "You know I think I've seen them before- a little boy, too - running his skateboard around in the parking lot.

"Yes, that was him," said the waiter.  I pulled out one of my business cards and stuck it  in with the bill. 

The waiter said he'd give it to him and I believe he will.  

Friday. 3/6/21

We were waiting for the light to change on PCH where Pier feeds into it.  A man came running up to the car waiving a take-home box - we were right in from of  a health food restaurant.  He was half-yelling, "Mai Tai Chicken!" shoving said box at my window.  I was startled and thinking what the hell'!  

Richie sensing free food, yelled at me, "Open your window!"  Set upon on two sides, I did, accepted the box (very cold)  The light changed and we turned left and headed home.    

 

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Reader's Digest Finall Delivers

Vet Signs  - 

I named my dog "Six Miles" so I can tell people I walk Six Miles every day

Dogs prepare you for babies; cats prepare you for teenagers

If  the earth was flat, cats would push everything off of it  (I'm talkin' to you Fred. 

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods.  They have not forgotten this.

  

I am not a nature fan so I include the following for other people who aren't canyon fans.  Especially those of us who are terrified of heights

SEQUOIA - There are bugs and stuff and they will bite you on your face

YELLOWSTONE - It's like a bigger version of Central Park (guess where they live) only with bears.

YOSEMETE Trees block views and too many grey rocks.

THE GRAND CANYON - a hole.  A very, very big hole

ISLE ROYALE No cell service and terrible Wi-Fi  (hmmm not the outdoors type, right?

DENALI - The bus stops 'way too often

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Origins ...

I got to wondering about the name origins of "Corona 19"  It turns out that in 2/11/2020 the World health Organization officially changed the name from Corona  2019 virus which became corona 19


Breaking it down further, CO - stands for "corona" (crown)

VI for virus and lastly 

D for Disease   


Tuesday, March 2, 2021

March 2nd - Dr. Seuss' Birthday If...

He hadn't died in 1991 at the age of 87.  Cards would have been addressed to Theodore Seuss Geisel, his birth name however he was nicknamed "Ted."

He was an energetic man - a children's author, political cartoonist, poet, animator. film maker.  He wrote 60 childrens  books and sold 600 million of them.  He lived well in La Jolla and on his death from oral cancer his ashes were put in the Pacific Ocean.  

When he wasn't doing all the other stuff, he was having an affair with the woman who would become is second wife.  First wife Helen Paumer committed suicide.  She had symptoms of Guillame-Barre.  They had married in 1927  and were until she took an overdoes of prescription medicine at age 68 when the symptoms became full-blown.

His second wife Audrey had been previously married to to E Grey Dimond when both were medical students.  Audrey was 21 at the time.  She brought that couple's two daughters into "Ted's" life.  Dimond became the Dean of Cardiology at Kansas University.

As unlikely as it may seem, Seuss has two stars in the 6500 block of the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  If you haven't got anything else to do today, maybe pedal over and leave a posy or two on them?  

Monday, March 1, 2021

What Was Being Written in the Yearbooks of 1959

The 1st name - Alfred Abrams - "Buddy"  Lavender  Caddy    A voice for the stage

The last listing - David Zupco - Singing is a favorite...where are those cheeseburgers?  "Hi"  

In Between :

Bonnie Sozio - a whiz with the paintbrush  laughing brown eyes .. petite and cute

Frank Sherman - Bad motorcycle   big eater   muscleman

Dana Schlaikjer -  You don't want to buy a magazine, do you?  

George Noonan - Party boy  loves tennis and pizza    egg-head

Richie Murphy  - Ship, ahoy (he was a clammer summers)  drives a cool car (he couldn't remember what this cool car was)   likes chicken and basketball.  

Carol Nalback   Off the road!  Here comes Carol!   Burns up the dance floor   likes basketball and pizza

Don't hesitate to volunteer what your yearbook gems were.  

 

Saturday, February 27, 2021

Kids and TV/Radio - in 1959

 Richie's Senior Yearbook came to light  and it was very well-done, including the following:

Yesterday's Gilbert Youth Poll showed that teenagers are watching less TV and that newspapers and radio are getting more of their attention.  That's the way it was with Huntington High School, of Huntington Long Island,  interviewed today. 

Noreen Bender, 15, a Junior:  "We don't have a TV set at home.  It was taking too much of the the family's time from things we wanted to do together.  (anyone else fighting a gag reflex at this?)  On radio I like FM music mostly and in newspapers I like the current events and feature stories.

I think I see enough TV when I babysit.

Meryl Easson, 16, Junior; member of the Creative Writing Club.  "I enjoy radio the most.  I can always listen to it while I'm doing other things.  On TV I like the dramatic shows and the family situation shows.  In newspapers, I like the woman's pages and then the current events items.  

Barbara Kryulko, 15, Junior,  "I need more time for schoolwork so I watch  TV less and read newspapers more.  TV doesn't give all of the details in the news but I like the spectaculars and the quiz programs,  If I had to give up one medium, I guess it would be radio."

I wonder what today's high school Juniors would say ...

Friday, February 26, 2021

The Entrepreneur of Bisbee, Arizona

And that would be Walter Swan who wrote a book that no one would buy.  

A tradition that has persisted (Swan's career was set in the 70's)  down into us in  the 20's.  Many of us have found to our bitter dismay that selling books is not an easy thing.  

Swan paid $650 for the book to be printed.  (My first book coat me $6,500 to the printer but returned $16,000 total -- 10 years later.) SONSORS; HOW TO GET ONE HOW TO KEEP ONE  for racing teams.

Swan then rented a store on Main Street, named it "One Book Bookstore;" literally the entire stock of his store was the first book he'd written. He priced this book at $19.95 and in no time sold 8,000 of ithem.. .  Pleased, he opened a second book store (next door to One Book)  and named it The Other Bookstore. Rent: $100/month.)  After counting his money, he went on writing and publishing his books - he could afford to write even more of them.  And so he did.  He died age 78 with a substantial library of successful books in print.   

Visitors to Bisbee (family, friends, traveling salesman and, I would assume, the occasional hippie) spread the word about the twin bookstores and subsequently, Swan was invited to make guest appearances on several late night programs.  

An astute member of the South Bay Writers Workshop volunteered this thought - "I'd rather have a bookshop named "The Dollar To Enter Bookstore."  And I thought that was a great idea.  

The idea for this column today came from a cousin in Indiana.  Thanks for a good idea, Doug.

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Easter Gravestone Decorations

 If you do decorate the loved one's grave site with seasonal trim such as a pastel wreath  you don't have to buy it from the cemetery where you plan to use it.  

Richie's younger brother Charlie, called last night from Huntington, Long Island,  to say that a great place for these decorations is Home Depot!  I was stunned mute!  He'll be visiting Home Depot today to browse.  I did it sitting here at the computer.  

Lowe's startled me because apparently they don't carry a lot of any one thing and to my shock right next to Easter was Halloween in the form of a pair of bony hands coming up out of the dirt.  Gave me a right old turn, it did.   

But when I'd calmed down, I remembered that Pacific Crest Cemetery is nearby, well-populated and could provide a fair amount of entertainment with a drive-through to see the decorations (if any.)  The balloons on a child's grave are heartbreaking.  St. Patrick's Cemetery, Long Island,  for years had a mylar (?) balloon attached to a pair of child-sized beach flip flops.   It always made me stop, look and reflect on what the parents could have been thinking.  But I plod on to Richie and Charlie's parents graves and their uncle Joe and his wife Kay., all of whom were well-aged.  No flip flops for them.  


Tuesday, February 23, 2021

What's In A Name?

I saw a headline - the Dugger family (horde) has had their 20th grandchild.  The original couple had 19 kids who have forged ahead and contributed another 19.

This is what I'm on about today.  The original 19 all have names that begin with a "J."  I think just three children would be a test of one's creativity.  

I'm not however in a position to poke fun at this same initial thing - my grand parents did that - bonus points for a middle name, too.  Five points more - middle name is the same letter.  Take a look:

V: is the initial

Virgil 

Varney

Victor Verdun (Daddy) 

Vera

Vivian   Violet

I'll try to get the missing middle names.  Ironically no grandchildren had V names.  But then I grew up and needed a legal name.  So  Nina (V) Murphy Vermillion So in the end, a grandchild did get a "V" name. 


Monday, February 22, 2021

Semi-Interesting Stuff

The Little Engine that blew up - the triple 7 that lost an engine.  We heard where it had landed and were instantly worried about our good friends the Mesineos.  I promptly wrote Mike (a fellow, long-time writer and  merry prankster) asking if they got anything valuable on their front yard. 

He wrote back with a photo of a small box like device that he labeled a controller device complete with part number in case we wanted one?  It didn't fall anywhere near them-(made landing 12 miles away)but it did fall on his daughter's street.  All is well.  


A gift from Rose Nyland, Golden Girls.  The Girls were discussing former husbands and Rose said, "Charlie was so tight he'd squeeze a Nickel till the buffalo pooped!"  The visual is rather awful (apologies) but certainly descriptive.

A shout out for Turner Classical Movies.  In sequence we've seen On The Water Front, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner and lastly The Marigold Hotel - plot summation a bunch of English come to India to treat a hotel like a care home.  A line from it resonated - Everything will be all right in the end and if it's not all right; it wasn't the end.  



Saturday, February 20, 2021

Damn! Radio Pays!

 Radio pays like a bastard!  Example - the late Rush Limbaugh is said to have left an estate of $600 million dollars. 

Former wife Kathryn is getting the couple's $51 million house (purchased in 1992 for $3.98 million)  not far from Mar-a-Lago and approximately a mile from his studio.   

Study the tutorial on radio work - let yourself go fat - no one can see you on the radio and start raking in the gelt.  Good luck!  Rush certainly had it.

Friday, February 19, 2021

The Body is Barely Cool - Lets Exploit Them!

 I happened across the book "Diana's Secret London," by Mark Saunders and Glenn Harvey in Dave's Old Books' biography shelves.  

Today I address myself to the insane things collected.  Diana's Secret London" is a collection of a series of walks to see her hairdresser, her psychic, coffee shop, department she favored - step in!

Undoubtedly I have mental problems of my own, but collecting, mapping, and publishing a book of maps of nothing but a celeb's various destinations and how to get to them seems ... strange.  

In this case with five walks you'll be collecting a visit to the shoemaker for shoes that by then would be shreds of shoes.  

There is also a judicious selection of gossipy tidbits and by and large, they do not do the recipients any  good at all.  In fact Diana herself was portrayed as what she undoubtedly was -- a 14 year old, emotionally.  But to this day equally fatuous books are undoubtedly being written and pondered about.  What's next?  Diana's secret diseases - Doctor says, "She would have died anyhow."  Shocking news - "The Princess of Hearts never brushed her teeth!"

The wonderful world of celebrities and their newsiness.  Brace yourselves - Rush Limbaugh is on his way. 

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Incoming Mail

For some reason - phases of the moon or something? the jokes have been coming on like a hurricane.  These particularly amused me and I hope they will, you, too.

Babies are smarter than we might think?

You can't baptize a cat, no matter how hard you might try

If Mom is bad at Dad, don't let her brush your hair!  You'll be sorry.   

You can't hide broccoli in milk. 

                  *******

What happens if you get scared to death twice?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT for sale?  Where?  Not in my neighborhood.

Did some financial planning and found that I can retire at 62 and live in comfort for 11 minutes

Aftermath of this plague -- you could wind up a Monk or Hunk or Chunk or Drunk.  Be careful what  you choose.

A hearty "Thank You!" to the gifted humorists who consistently send the gift of laughter.  It's always welcome. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Morsels

The other day we got a flyer from the St. Patrick's Cemetery offering to put a cellophane-looking cream and lavender cross, an "Easter Palm Cross Sale" for $35.  Richie and his brother Charlie decided to get one for their parents' grave.  Guess who got charged with this?  

I I e-mailed a nice lady at the church who handles grave decoration and put in my order, giving her  the names, of the two who get one.  They were:

Richard and Mary Murphy, Richie and Charlies parents - recipients 

Joseph and Kay, uncles to Richie and Charlie

Martin, the other uncle and Richie and self.   Seven Murphys  in all. 

And then she wrote that she  had so many Richard and Mary's that she couldn't be sure which pair is ours!

More weird - 

Monday we attended my cousin Julie's funeral in Alhambra at St. Teresa's Church.  The burial service graveside followed that and then to Ale House, 300 E Colorado Blvd where the food was absolutely delicious.  If you ever make it there from Redondo Beach I urge you to try the blackened shrimp tacos laved with a house (very tasty) guacamole.

Altogether it's been a bit strange for the last two days.  


 






Saturday, February 13, 2021

Baad Mistake

Never go to the supermarket the day before Valentine's Day.  Bouquets of flowers crowd the aisles not just the mini- flower market near the doors.   Separate kiosks of liquors - champagne for example   or pre-mixed in the bottle - like the opaque cream of coconut and rum.  They provided  worthy opponents to grocery carts.  


As it happens our route to the market drifts lazily past a Mrs. Sees' Chocolates where the line to get in  snaked across their parking lot.  And it wasn't moving worth a damn either!  Female companions whose Significant Other really did suffer for you when it came to the check-out counter!   Hope you were wearing comfortable brogans or running shoes.  You needed them!

Friday, February 12, 2021

Shrug Into Your Yokes, Oxen it's Your Year

It's your lunar year in Asian astrology.   You're a celebrant, to, if you were born in these years - 

'61- '73 - '85 - '97 - '09 - '21  along with these, your fellow oxen - Barack Obama, George Clooney and Napoleon Bonaparte.      What kind of people are they and you for that matter?  They are said to be calm, patient, stubborn but hate to be challenged.

You're said to get along well with Rats, Snakes, and Roosters.  But history advises you to avoid Tigers, Dragons, Horses and Sheep.  Fairly large crowd compared to who is compatible..

The element of the Ox is Earth

The energy you posses is Yin (what ever that means) 

Your season is Winter.  To which I would add and good luck on the Winter thing ... the snow is deep so far and unlikely to turn into Summer.  

Enjoy your year - there won't be another for 12 years.  Celebrate with enough Chinese Dumplings to get you easily through the Winter!

And if you haven't explored the Asian Zodiac - it can be fun -  For example - 

My sister - Rat

and weirdly her first grandchild is also a Rat!  how often do you think that happens?  Have a look as you stuff down the dumplings!

Thursday, February 11, 2021

America's Big Families

 No reason to let those sissie Brits out-do us in breeding.  Scant research turned up two - both, of course, with reality TV shows with big families as the attraction.  I hate to think of the prurient thoughts going through the minds of any viewers with the Duggars - 21 and the Bates 19.  So much for them; God bless them of course, but I knew and became a great friends with a member of a 19 children family.   

I was a volunteer for the Beach Cities Health District; working as a volunteer to visit shut-ins or the elderly - people that were pretty much house-bound.  

The Powers That Be there assigned us to people they thought would be a good match.  

And so one Wednesday afternoon my "boss" and I met at Lucille's house at 2 p.m.   We knocked, she yelled, "C'mon in" so we did.  

She had seated herself at the dining room window where she had a view up and down the street and not miss a thing.  It was her Command Post, if you will.  She was using a long-tether oxygen tank (COPD,) was wearing a voluminous housedress (rather faded) and need it, being quite overweight.  She would later tell me the steroids did that.  

Introductions were made and Lucille informed me, "Ah'm a Okie."  What's the response to this?  "I'm not?"  

Seeing that I was somewhat stunned, she went on (the coup de grace?)  "I'm one of 19 chirren ."

"My goodness," I responded - is your mother still living?"

"She certainly is," said Lucille and without thinking, just blurting, I said, "Well in a 100 years from now when like all the rest of she dies, you'all should donate her uterus to the Smithsonian!" and we both roared like hyenas.  Lucille said to my supervisor, "We're gonna git along fine" and we did until the COPD got her some years later. 

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

The Biggest Family in Britain -

 22 children in one family - no multiple births such as twins or more.  Noel, then 18 and Sue, 14, began their roles as multiple breeders at those tender ages.  Today she's 44 and he's 47.  The manufacturing machinery is said to have been shut down by Mrs. Radford.  

The happy couple - married in 1992 and still now in 2021 - do though have six grandchildren!  

Questions that intrigued me - how do you feed everyone?  On a 300 lb/$ a week shopping bill.  

My God all of the birthday presents - 24 counting the parents/  Christmas must be a killer!   Photos show a lot of plastic?  Mylar? balloons and yet,   reading further  each kid got one a "big present" - sled, skates, bicycle .. and so on per year.  The Radfords have birthday and Christmas money saved and set aside solely for those items. 

And speaking of money, from whence does it come?  The Radford Pie Company purchased in 1999 which they own.  

Where the hell do they all live?  Heh heh this is cool.  They all live in what's called "a care home" in Britain and we would call The Old Folks Home.  Individual or shared rooms ..Very spacious living room (lounge.there) kitchen capable of feeding them all - I really think it was a stroke of genius.  

They are said to be going to Australia to spend a month with another family of many off-spring (but only 16.))  That is such hell I can't even bear to think about it.   The noise alone never mind the tearing around.  

Monday, February 8, 2021

Shall We Stroll the Hollywood Boulevard and see the stars?

 The bronze stars imbedded in the Hollywood Walk.  It officially opened on this day in 1910 after 16 months of construction  before there could have been many of stars  ... although I read that before the 16 months had  passed, there were 1,500 stars planted.  Early birds.

Today there are 2,60- contained in the 15 blocks of Hollywood and another three blocks of Vine.  Altogether, to strut the 1.3 miles 

How does one get a star - what are the qualifications.  You have to be invited; you have to be outstanding in:  radio, movies, theater, TV, or recording.  

Who was the first?  Joanne Woodward accompanied, no doubt by her husband since 1957 Paul Newman.

As if these people don't get enough attention  (snort.)

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Super Bowl Sunday Diversions

If you are not a fan, it pays to have something to amuse that doesn't involve grown men patting each other's fannies and making a lot of loud noise.


Yesterday - Saturday - being errand day around here as we were about to go out, I said to Richie, "Oh!  I want to stop at RiteAid for some nail polish - holding up a nicely-taloned hand.  "I'm going to girly it up a  little," and he laughed out loud then shook his head, patted my butt and walked away. 

A bottle of 'ballet slipper pink' was just exactly what I wanted - the closer your nail polish to your own nail color the longer those nails will look.  You can work up to lethal in no time at all.  

I patted my purchase  happily and we left.  In the car, while giving my little bottle admiring looks the label jumped out at me and it read 'stark naked'  I'll go back for the ballet shoes next week.  I am not going to run around stark naked in anything!  Even something as silly as that is.


GO CHIEFS!

Saturday, February 6, 2021

On this day...

 On this day in 1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States -- and we've been eating pizza and pretzels ever since!

ADD:  1998 on this day (must have been a weekday) Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed through three articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton, over Democratic objections.  History repeats itself.

Friday, February 5, 2021

Just In Time for the Game

Odds are good you have already stocked up on Super Bowl Snacks - Isn't the day's  banquet  why there  even IS a Super Bowl any how?  

This game is almost always boring but wait!  Back in 2019  didn't someone rebut me with the game between San Francisco - 55 and the Raiders 45?  

Enough about statistics. 


Let us move to our grocery lists "just in case" there is a forgotten idem.  These were all listed as Best in Show in various  medias?

Pizza cut in circles with a round cookie cutter;  deviled eggs are much loved; and home-made chili  will warm you on a nasty day.  Serve with taco chips or roll-up limp tortillas (little messy but, "Hey it's football! We're not out here to play patti-cake!  Brownies or ice cream (or both) for dessert and through out, the host's version of guacamole.  Sometimes these can be godawful good; others just godawful. Best of luck!  Oh!  GO Kansas City Chiefs!!!

 


Wednesday, February 3, 2021

I Was Lying On the Couch Monday Did he say that or did dereading a Stuart Woods novel when ...

 Suddenly  my head was all confused .Richie was  was talking to a paramedic  in hushed tones.  

I was too addled to know what was going on.  The paramedics came, strapped  me on a chair for the stairs and very carefully they slipped me down the stairs and into the ambulance. .  Since that was rather nervewracking it can't have helped whatever the hell was wrong with me.  

I'm pretty sure that all  six of the paramedics took turned asking me to smile and raise my arms, both signs of a transient  ischemic attack if the corners of your smile are crooked  and your arms decidedly lopsided. when raised.  But:  transient means fast or swift.  Clearly the paras were not disturbed at all.  But little fazes them; they had the siren on ""hush" I swear.  

As proof enough to me, the hospital neuro read the notes the paramedics had made en route, quickly ordered and read n MRI and a CT scan s of the brain.  He then told  said I could go back home; my test results indicated a mild case?   Or did I imagine that?

Tuesday I came home and it took all day to get home and  $3,00 a day at that.  The day rom rate must be hella appealing to hospital management.  

What did I do once home.  Smoked 3 or 4 cigarettes, settled down with a lovely icy cold Pacifica beer.  and then went to bed.  

COMMENT

A fellow writer rather acidly said, "For $3,00 a day the hospital should provide the beer."  A sentiment with which I heartily agree.



 

Monday, February 1, 2021

Flash!

Ground hogs - aka - woodchucks - Going in to hibernation they weigh 12-15 lbs. where they routinely live 6 to 8 years.  During hibernation, their their heart beats slow from 80 to 5 per minute.  

The humble groundhog should be call "scared cat hog"  if they see anything that scares him/her they jump right back into their hole. They often made a squeaky sound (indicates fear.)


Ground Hog Day is more hype than any kind of real celebration. Food treats?  Pancakes!

It is celebrated by the English with Beef Wellington a traditional dinner and may well be the reason Ground/Hedge Hog day is celebrated there!

If you would to visit genuine ground hogs, I suggest a visit to Sunset Zoo in Manhattan, KS  Very nifty small zoo but charming for all of that. 

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Namedropper!

Here on the West Coast, we have been hammered with really more rain and wind that we need.  January 28th and another is expected this afternoon, evening, and cherry on the sundae, all night.  

We need S O U P AND PLENTY OF IT

I consulted my old friend JuJu (Julia Child)  who swiftly pulled out from her purse her recipe for French Onion Soup.  She was in Pasadena touting her TV show at the time, but JuJu always knows the answer. 

"Ma cherie, "she warbled. "there's really only one thing  for this kind of weather.

"My French Onion Soup!"

5-6 yellow onions, very thinly sliced (they're going to dissolve in the soupy part which is:

I  T olive oil

2T butter

1/2 teas sugar and a pinch or a grind of sea salt. 

6 cups beef broth

1/2 cup white wine  

Cook in a Dutch oven for 30 minutes.  

As previously said, the onions damned near dissolve.  Toss in a T of cognac (not forgetting a swig for yourself.

You've eaten this soup so you know how to do the Swiss cheese (grated and sprinkled on the bread.)

If you're going out be sure to remember your umbrella.  None of this smile be an umbrella stuff.  That would be too blonde to believe.

Monday, January 25, 2021

Book Me A Table At Thomas Kellers French Laundry

I'm in a mood to celebrate.  A slight change and we can all dine inside the restaurant "just like  it used to be!"

And it's this:  when you arrive at a favorite venue, you will be greeted at the door by the maĆ®tre'

 D - or a waiter for that  matter for the brief electronic temperature test.   Same one that greets you at your doctor's office.

Very fast' thus very efficient.  

Can't understand why this hasn't been done yet.  We've already suffered plexiglass panels to separate us one from the other. 

Saturday, January 23, 2021

For a good turn-out at your funeral - Marry A LOT!

 If you are in  your early days - 20s' 39's - start marrying!  Down the road you're going to want lots of warm bodies there. Fill up them front rows!  The day will come. You don't have to set aside funds - at that age you won't have any extra cash that some greedy bitch can grab. 

I cite a few of the best examples - most recently that being this mornings news that radio/TV host Larry King has joined this ambitious and forward-planning  group. It now occurs to me that maybe Eight wives, at  age 87 killed him; not covid

I  had thought Mr. King was already dead - he certainly looked it (he didn't age at all well to say the least.)   I had wondered when they would finally put him under the grass? 

Perhaps all of those divorces were  little expensive but well worth it in the end.  And he certainly went through wives like  shit through a goose.  

Come to find out, he was not alone.  Two examples.: Musician Artie Shaw's most notable exes were:

 - Ava Gardner (Frank  Sinatra was not best pleased)(At all.)  Lana (Legs) Turner . 

Elizabeth Taylor married Richard Burton twice which I consider cheating.  Mike Todd, Michael Wilding, Senator John Warner

The Gabors were so numerous and subsequently so oft married (she always kept the rings and houses) that I lost track thus; this record would have quite probably been inexact.

Anecdote:

Richie's niece is a specials eds teacher in Beverly Hills.  One day Larry King came stumping into her classroom without a "I'm sorry to intrude..."  He just slammed the door and bellowed "Where's my son?!

Kathleen has not forgotten and I doubt she'll be signing any condolence card.  


Friday, January 22, 2021

From the Editor

Thanks to your relentless research, we can conclude that Poe's untimely demise  was due to excessive pie consumption.


Speaking as one with previous experience as a Goodyear blimp pilot your account serves as .. an alert to to anyone   who hasn't expected whipping motions and terrifying noises. 

.

Your Lobster Tale (tail) left me looking for a bib and melted butter.  Don't do that again.  

Thursday, January 21, 2021

She Said That?

"I'm older than fire and twice as hot!

                                                         Cher 

Would that we could say that ,Ladies!

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

What Took So Long?

Mandatory use of "doctor's offices" temperature takers for restaurants, small groups and more.

Tomorrow afternoon  I will be able to give you a report.  South Bay Writer's Workshop is doing a tryout. 


Tuesday, January 19, 2021

To This Day!

There are at least nine theories about the death of Edgar Allen Poe.  He was found outside, in a gutter in someone else's clothing, lying in the gutter in the rain.   His doctor came at his behest but Poe went on to die anyhow.  He was 40 when he succumbed to this ignoble death.

He was born January 19th in 1809 and his demise occurred on October 7 in 1849.

Oddly enough he hated the city of Boston and stayed elsewhere as much as he could.  Something about the bad hotels.  He did though really like the city's pumpkin pie.  Whether he was depicted holding a pie in his statue seems not to be known.   And I am lazy.

Monday, January 18, 2021

We Thought the Goodyear Blimp Was Coming to Dinner! On Our Heads!

 Having ordered and then received it, we un-bagged our orders  and set into it.  We were picking bits of lobster out of lobster rolls  when we heard the most ungodly noise right above our heads.  It sounded like the start line at a drag race. 

You would have had to be dead not to hear the racket the Goodyear Blimp makes.

With an unexpected whip around, it was it was gone and we were left to speculate about it's final destination.  Perhaps nose down into the hills of  Palos Verdes?  

Captain Kidds parking lot does make a great viewing spot for a sunset over the ocean.  But if the Goodyear Blimp is on any kind of fly-over schedule may I suggest  you plan on  in-car dining?

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Cousin Doug and the Plethora of Lobsters

 When my Cousin Doug heard that Richie and I were flying to New York to see Charlie, Richie's brother, and his wife Rosalind he invited himself and his wife  Jackie , to accompany us.  It seems that Doug had a long-lived desire to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, which had not been mentioned until now. On to the subway and then forward ward to Coney Island crowned with a hotdog from Nathans.  T

here he distinguished (not) himself by making  a scene begging a female customer to "speak  Brooklynese!" He went on and on and on.  Doug is nothing if not persistent.  Jackie and I were horrified.   Finally the lady cracked and ripped of a paragraph or so in her (presumably native tongue." )

Got on the train back to Long Island where Charlie. wife and family  lived and Rosalind scolded us.  "I told you to get back in time for dinner!"  The rest of them repaired to the breezeway for  regenerating libations.  I slipped into the kitchen to ask Rosalind if I could help with dinner? And incidentally get a beer. Rosalind was busy heating four huge caldrons which later held the lobster.


"No, no," she fluttered, "we're just having lobster."  My jaw dropped.  Lobster for all us? Looking  around and counting noses.  Maybe she has a lobster casserole recipe that would stretch it ...Doug and Jackie, Charlie, Rosalind, us and oldest son Sean a bay man.  Charlie, himself was a former president of the  Bayman and former President  of the Bay men.  He was always having to go up to Albany on Bay business.

Charlie was a clammer; oldest son Sean was lobstering at the time of this visit and youngest son Bryan, was a clammer.  Sean provided the lobs (they're call that in the Hamptons)  for this night's dinner.  We ate with gusto, especially Doug.  Rosalind urged more and more lobster on us .

Doug looked at the the three enormous platters laden with lobster carcasses, looking more than somewhat full.  Looking up from one of them, he muttered, "I've never been offered lobster like this!  Am dreaming?Am I  'Would you like more?"  Rosalind, laughed and held out a platter, "  Sean caught  16 lobsters for dinner tonight - have at it!"

Doug would go on to tell this story in tones of wonder until he died.  (2019)

And we haven't forgotten it either. Last Thursday we went for dinner at Captain Kidds where the menu offers Lobster Rolls or Lobster Tacos.  And I'm sure we will one and tell tell and re-tell about Doug and the lobsters.  

Friday, January 15, 2021

Do You Speak Hotel-ese

 I would bet that my brother-in-law is fluent in it.  For one thing, he flew from Chicago to London and on to Newcastle-on=Tyne once a month for a week for his job.

Turn on your tape  recorder  - 


Old World charm - no bath.   

I add   rural rural - down the hall and down three flights of stairs in winter.

Options galore - nothing is included 

Nominal fees - no extras

Standard  sub- standard

Deluxe - Standard

Superior - free shower  cap

All the amenities - TWO shower caps. 

Plush - top and bottom sheets

Concierge - You can't afford this! Check out NOW!


Wednesday, January 13, 2021

St Nina - rah rah rah

 Having one is a big deal in the Catholic and Greek practices.  As  basically a Methodist, I knew nothing about the practice of having one let alone any idea when it is.   Michelle, my best friend set me straight  (Hers is January 29.)  Mine is today - January 13,  As far as I could ascertain there are no bad luck superstitions attached to this date.  

Most nuns try hard to support themselves, making various products to sell to sell laypersons is one of them.    An example that caught my eye: 

 St. Anne's Coffee - Nun Better. 

Google your saint and then pull up illustrations of   Mine were as scary as a real nun - the kind that are armed with a ruler pace back and forth up and down the classroom.  

St. Nina  seems not to have any celebration attached to her name, but I think that Richie will want to take us out to dinner anyhow tonight.  I plan to tell him that we can grab a bite while out looking for St. Anne's coffee.  I mean being a saint for heaven's sake (deliberate) should mean something!  All too frequently the saint dies in some horrible way - shot full of arrows for example - that's got to sting!

I was pleased to note that St. Nina died a natural death.  I wouldn't care to be ventilated by arrows.  




,

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

The Widder Jackie

We, the public grieved as one with the principles.  That glamorous young couple , ripped apart by a bullet.  Not surprisingly she issued a list of the funeral  invitees mainly.  

For once the flamboyant Aristotle Onassis was on his best behavior;; standing quietly against a wall ,being pleasant to all who stopped by and greeted them somberly

But all would have a happy ending when Jackie married Ari and went through his money like shit through a goose,  Bad tempered harridans and gossip column writers  had much to say about it.  "Did you see her at the reception?" " She was scouting the talent honey, and look what she bagged".  

Personally I think it's the worst possible manners to pick out the new husband at the funeral ceremony for the last at bat.

But what do I know?


Beg Pardon

You may not bearing much from me.  Let us get various political matters squared away.  
 
Such as whether or not a sitting President can get out of Texas without getting shot.  Remember the Kennedy assassination's?   I do because for three days nothing else was discussed.  It was the first live snuff movie.

So when I read that Still-Sitting President Trump was going there -- to inspect his wall I thought couldn't someone send photos?   Texans have guns, dammit and hell's own amount of them.

I am distracted.

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Smart Mouth!

Colorful language (within bounds of course) can be quite amusing and  writers steal them with alacrity.  Writer or not, have a laugh anyhow.

He's about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.  

One day you're the peacock; next day you're the feather duster.

Money thinks I'm dead.  

One day you're drinking wine; the next you're picking grapes.

I was so poor I had to fry up my nest egg

A new broom  might sweep clean but an old one knows the corners

Well!  who licked the red off of your

candy? i.e. what're you pissed off about?

Man (to a nearly nude lady in a bar )  "Ma'am? "Are you outside trying to get in or inside tryin' to get out?" 

 

The above are from that great book "And the Best Blog is Word of Mouth" by the one and only Nina Murphy.  Available at amazon.com as well as Dave's Old Book Store. Artesia, Redondo Beach


Thursday, January 7, 2021

The Irony

January 7, 1789

America had their first presidential election, as voters  chose electors who a month later selected George Washington to be the nation's first chief executive. 

Now cast a wandering eye to yesterday's news.  I doubt if George had a situation like it.  At lease I hope so.


Thank you Daily Breeze.

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Just Invented - The Covid Anthem

 Missed the Saturday dance

Heard they crowded the floor

Couldn't bear it without you

Don't get out much anymore

Thought I'd visit the club

Got as far as the door

They'd have asked me about you

Don't get out much any more.


written and sung by Tony Bennett

Monday, January 4, 2021

Oddities

. I just read that the President of Ukraine is a former comedian and actor.  Runs in my mind we had someone very similar recently

When Mongolia voted in their constitution in 1924 they had more women than men.

IN 2015 Bhutan planted 49,672 trees in an hour.  Predug holes but they didn't water.

Serbia is one of the most prolific producer of raspberries in the world.


Friday, January 1, 2021

January 1st in -

 1863 - President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation declaring that slaves in rebel states shall be "forever free."

1892 - The Ellis Island immigrant station in New York formally opened.

1954 - NBC broadcast the first coast-to-coast color TV program - of the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena.  

The more it changes the worse it gets.