Monday, October 11, 2021

Buying a Cat is Not Easy

 We have specifications instructions for the cat will have a forever house. (ours)  Must be a tuxedo cat.  Must be older than six years because the cat-in-residency is eight years old.  I thought I'd found one until Richie Keen Eyes pointed out they were all born this year.  Teenagers and at 81 and 80 we're too old to be chasing kittens who are often extremely agile and who also can jump a helluva lot farther straight up than us.

But I have detectives beavering away for other non-profit charities that profit from the sale of kittens AND cats. .

Saturday, October 9, 2021

Buying Your Cat a New Friend

This will be addressed  tomorrow after I've talked to The Cat Lady.  S0 far, a great deal of paperwork.  "Other animals in the house?" 

Meanwhile adopting a shelter is not cost free.  Here is the price range:

Up to 6 months of age- $110  

6 to 12 months of age $85

Cats over 1 year $60

Cats over 6 years to people over 60 Free.  

We want a 6 to 8 year Tuxedo cat (same age as Fred)

Friday, October 8, 2021

And Finally...

 Last person off the plane cleans it

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Still Onboard?

C'mon - put some hustle on; the rest of us want of just as badly

Captains and FAs asides:

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees is 50 degrees with some broken clouds but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive .  Thank you and remember nobody loves you or your money more that Southwest Airlines.

To operate your seatbelt insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the ceiling.  Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face.  

If you have a small child traveling  with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.  If you are traveling with two small children decide now which one you love more.

AA into Amarillo on a very windy, bumpy day.  On final the captain was really fighting it to an extremely

hard landing.  The FA came on the PA and announced, "Welcome to Amarillo.  Please remain in your seats while the Captain taxies what's left of our airplane to the Gate."  Another flight, bumpy landing, another FA  same airline.  "Please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the gate."

After a real crusher of a landing an FA came on, saying "Ladies and Gentlemen, Please remain seated until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought  the aircraft to a screeching halt right up against the gate.  And once the tire smoke  has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal 

A pilot added this - that he'd hammered into the runway really hard.  Adding that he did follow Airline rules - to stand at the door as the pax deplaned and to be  courteous in the face of any less than friendly complaints.  He dreaded it.  The last passenger, a little old lady, walking with a cane, asked the pilot, "Sonny do you mind if I asked you a question?"   "Why. no, Ma'am, said the pilot "What is it?"    The old lady asked sweetly, ""Did we land or were we shot down?"


Tuesday, October 5, 2021

More Travel

Many of us dread flying and of those, they'd  present reas0ns like the following:

After landing the FA came on and said, "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.  We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride,"  

After a particularly rough landing during  during thunderstorms in Memphis an FA announced please take care when opening the overhead because after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.

As you exit the plane , please make sure to gather all of your belongings.  Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the FAs the .  Please do not leave children  or spouses.

This actually happened and I heard it live on a flight from DFW to MCI (Kansas City.)  It was a real THUD bounce THUD bounce landing and a male voice in the back yelled, "Which one of you gals landed this thing?"

An FA landing announcement, "We'd to thank you for flying with us today.  And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways." 

The pilot giving his welcoming speech.  "We are pleased to have some of the best Flight Attendants in the industry Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."

 



Sunday, October 3, 2021

Travel Tips

Conde Nast Traveler in their quest to get me to renew  my subscription sent a flyer titled 

                                              TOP 5 SECRETS TO SAVVY TRAVEL

It's savvy marketing on their part because the usual Tote Bag has to cost more that a slim piece of paper.  Let's explore shall we?

#1  Time Your Trip - Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday  Why?

Going on off-season, off hours will save you money. This is easy - taking two days for a long weekend?  Instead of Thurs to Sunday go (and stay) fly Saturday, back Tuesday.

There will be more when I have nothing to write about.  In the meantime, safe travels.

SAVVY TRAVEL - Get the best room ...the hotel you want to use has a manager so call this person  and ask which days will be busy - convention or some such.  And if you were polite in your  conversation you will most likely get a treat of some kind if not a room upgrade.  Mom was right - sugar catches more flies than vinegar.

Friday, October 1, 2021

What Took Him So Long?

From the front page of the Drudge Report - 127 year old man (finally) dies.  This amazing tidbit comes courtesy of his family in the 300- person village of Azefa located in Eritrea.  

Natabay Tinsiew's family claims that he was born in 1894 and  they went after the Guiness people to get him more recognition than just longevity.  The old 15 minutes of fame.  Easy to imagine "If you eat Product X "  

What were his secrets for that kind of longevity?  A nephew is quoted as saying, "Patience, Generosity and a Joyful Life (and God knows he had a long one..)   In 2014 the Village threw a celebration  for his 100th birthday.

There may have been some miscalculation about the 1894 since his church records  show that it was actually 10 years later.  If this is right, he was not 127.   Which is a helluva length of time anyhow.

                               Rest in Peace

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Do You Struggle With "Dad jokes"?

Half of the time I either don't get them or don't think they're funny.  Which is, apparently , their job in life.  Here is a sample that popped up in this morning's boredpanda.com 

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous - I see a few new faces this week.

If you believe your microwave is spying on you; your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

What do you call a short woman?  A minimum.  Large?   Maximum.

I wondered what my parents did before there was the internet - none of my 15 brothers and sisters knew either.

The waitress asked the diner, "How did you find your steak?"  "It was right next to the potato." 

"I like it when the Earth rotates.  It really makes my day."

I asked a lot of people "What is LGBTQ? and none of them could give me a straight answer"

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Quit cher crabbing

This is always a treat when Richie makes crab cakes.  His are better than those of a number of restaurant versions.  They are too good not to share the recipe.  

Premium crab is available at Smart and Final in a large black can.  Phillips Premium Crab.  Mix all of the  the following except for the crab

CRAB CAKES

1 lb. crab

1 egg

2 T Worcestershire sauce

1/4 teas. dry mustard

2T mayo 

1T lemon juice 

1 T mustard 

1T melted butter

1T Parsley flakes

1 T Old Bay seasoning.

1/2 cup bread crumbs

Combine all the ingredients except the crab then fold it in the and shape it into cakes.  Pan fry or bake in the oven at 375 deg. for 12-15 minutes until evenly brown and an internal of 165 degrees  

                                              BON APPETITE!


Tuesday, September 28, 2021

A Blonde has triplets

 As stated above - a blonde gives birth to triplets.  Some do-gooder female approaches the mother and asks, "What's the hardest thing about triplets?" 

The blonde glances upward and says, "Being pregnant for 27 months."

Monday, September 27, 2021

Medical Laughs

I recently had another ambulance ride - last Wednesday to be exact, the day we were promised lobster tacos and there they weren't, but what followed never happened before.   I had an appt. with a new neurologist, a woman - my old one had retired.  The appt. went uneventfully as far as they go and since I didn't mention her name I can say that she was zero help.  Walking to the elevators I had a sudden TIA attack.  Happily there was a bench right by the elevator and I sat down while Richie went back to the office to get her.  

She sent the nurse instead ,out to get me and seat me  in the exam office I'd just left.  Studying me, she said, "I'm going to call 911.  I was appalled.  What the hell!  Since her offices are right across the street from the ER for Little Co. of Mary before I knew it, here were 6 or 8, paramedics crowding her office.  All of the medical people concurred  and they strapped me onto the gurney and away we went.  

It was as rough a ride as I've ever had in an ambulance.  Evidence has never appeared to prove ambulances have any springs at all. The turns were rocky in the extreme and I asked the para nearest me, "Do these things ever tump over?"  He replied, "It's his first time driving." and I said, quietly, "It shows." and they howled like a pack of coyotes including the driver.  

The ER where they had put me in a cubicle was reasonably entertaining due to one man who periodically shouted and wailed.  He was located in the short hallway from outdoors to ER  He happened to have an outbreak when my Asian nurse heard him say, "Daddy why did you do it?" and she nodded wisely and said, "Ah yes, Daddy." 

Staff was trying to get me a bed and were having poor luck.  I spent the night in ER and was quite comfortable.  Both of our hospitals - Little Co. of Mary and Torrance Memorial were full.  I'd never seen that either.  Nor heard the vocally insistent man.  Next morning they released me into the wild and I went home, overjoyed to be there.

Saturday, September 25, 2021

We Just Missed the Bank Robbery

This from my cousin Indiana Doug dateline 9/24/21.  When I printed it out to blog it many of the  the end of the sentences weren't there.  Doug very kindly gave me permission to edit around the situation.  Just so you know.

"Yesterday afternoon, wife Melanie and I were supposed to be at the bank branch at 4:30 p.m. to sign some paperwork.  Melanie was a little late from work about 4:18 p.m.  Melanie then said she had to potty herself (Cousin Doug uses Bathroom yourself) Needless to say we weren't going to be there at 4:30 so I texted the bank manager that. On the way when we were able to go we saw several police cars running with lights and sirens in several directions.

When we arrived at the bank there were two police cars parked in the front lot to protect the neighborhood behind the bank.  

As I pulled into the drive we learned that bank had been robbed at gunpoint and apparently a shot was fired we later heard.

We drove around to the back of the building and I called the branch manager  to see if everything was all right. She was clearly distressed, saying that the robbery had occurred just a couple of minutes ago.  Everyone was very scared.  But she said she'd make an arrangement for our business next week.

I called my brother (a bank VP) to tell him to contact the branch manager and counsel her and her staff.  There were several customers in the bank and several in the drive through. We, too, would have been in there if Melanie hadn't needed to potty.  She later told me that the advantages of potty-ing were obvious.

Update  The robber was caught within 24 hours"

The Take 

$33,000  taken but only $700 as recovered of last night.

Friday, September 24, 2021

Do You Have a Cool Church?

Here are some examples (Thank you boredpanda.com)

Don't give up Moses was once a basket case

Jesus is coming, look busy

God ha no favorites but our sign guy does - Go Cubs!

Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat - with two termites

We are still open between Easter and Christmas

(Catholic)  Lent is coming get your ash in church

Now is a good time to visit, our Pastor is on vacation 

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Lobster Mania

Charlie and Rosalind's oldest son went from clamming to lobstering and boy did we benefit from this.   C and R invited us for dinner and all four of us were delighted.  Rosalind is a dab hand in the kitchen.  Her baked clams are of legend.  "Bring it on we gleefully shouted.  

While happily waiting for dinner, we loitered on their breezeway, a concrete space between the house and garage with comfortable padded chairs where there was a breeze!  Indian Summer can be hot and today had been.  We sipped our wines or beer and enthusiastically traded family gossip.  You've undoubtedly done the same at your family gatherings.  

Time flew by and before we knew it Rosalind was standing at the kitchen door calling us into dinner.  When we were seated, she put out a b i g platter of cooked whole lobsters.  She casually remarked that Sean had collected lobster traps today and here was some of the bounty.

Happily we began dissecting our lobs (East Coast reference term.) The room uncharacteristic with us fell silent save for a faint crackling sound of set-upon shells.  

Doug was vociferous through this anyhow - silence was wasted on him.  Rosalind, seeing his plate with only shells on it, promptly whisked the platter back and had refilled it.  Doug remarked that he didn't want to be a hog, but, damn! they were good.

Rosalind said, "Sean gave us 16 of them, for dinner tonight, so eat up!" Immediate praise rained down on him and Doug offered cash for his trouble which Sean refused.  

We were flying home the next day which this dinner  celebrated from several points of view.  Most certainly Sean's. 

As for Doug, it was the first story out of his mouth every time he recited what he'd seen and done.  "Can you imagine?  Sixteen!  Lobsters!"


Wednesday, September 22, 2021

A New Disappointment

Sharky's Web people are lazy.  They haven't updated it for four years nor served lobster in that time.  I asked for it at lunch and ha ha ha with tons of little giggles she told me this.


Doug gets tomorrow - Teaser - when we returned the renta car,  A Hispanic guy came out to take it, give it a bath and sign it over to the Vermillions.  Hertz's Welcome mat. Doug said to this guy in dark pants and a crisp white shirt, spit shined loafers "Grassy ass! as your people," say it.  He gave Doug an ironic look, turned and drove the car back into the garage. 

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

In Which Cousin Doug Is Rendered Speechless

Some years ago, we told Doug and his wife Jacqui we were going back to see Richie's brother Charlie and his wife Rosalind and their sons on Long Island.  Charlie and the boys were and are all Bay Men, clam diggers all until Sean decided to become a lobsterman.  

At the time we all thundered onto the Island his business was booming.  He had restaurants buying and getting a good return on the cost of lobster trapping.  The boat's engine was a flat $20,000 to start.  Sean had built his own traps (as many as 25-30.) saving money.  

Can't remember if we got 1st flying in but I think we did.  De-planed and went straight to Hertz and picked up the car I'd reserved for us.  A big-assed Lincoln.  Doug's motto is "Go big or go home."  And I'd gotten us reservations at the Chalet Motor Inn, Centerport.  Since then they rehabbed it and it has fetching patios and tables and chairs and an enormous pool.  And is reasonably priced.

We took the train from Huntington into The City.  Parking is a nightmare and even if you get a spot in a lot, they're very expensive.  All in all, it's marginally cheaper to take the train - and it's one more item for Doug's list of "Things I did in New York" 

Doug had a list of things he wanted to see and do.  He wanted to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge  and back just so he could say he had done it. 

None of us, however were prepared for the scene Doug gave us.  A wedding guest conclave was occupying the hotel parking lot, boom boxes at full blast, glass bottles of Budweiser tinkled gaily as they smashed on the concrete of the parking lot.  Screams of joy rang across it.  

Doug was furious and promptly dispatched himself to the manager's office to complain (with some heat.)  The manager didn't want any more trouble than he already had and turned Doug down.  This took nerve on his part because Doug was a big guy to start and being a Fire Chief didn't diminish his royal self.  As such he gave orders that were followed. Nervy manager.

Next morning new manager who obligingly gave him the room numbers of the offenders, all of whom got 4a.m. phone calls waking them up.  Courtesy of Doug. 

Part 2 tomorrow. 



Monday, September 20, 2021

It's Easy to Get Up in the Morning If -

If you're going to have Mexican lobster tacos for lunch.   We're doing just that with Dee.  Where? you ask?  Can I come, too?  

Sharky's, Hermosa Beach Pier is the spot and, yes, they celebrate Taco Tuesdays.  How great is this?  Buy one, get one free.  Look at it from another angle - where ya gonna find 50% off of lobster tacos?   

From their menu - 

Puerto Lobster Tacos - a single one is $6.25; if you're hungry and get the full meal, $13.99.  There's Ensenada Shrimp $4.25 single dose or $9.49 for rice and beans and God Only Knows.  

Vegetarians are not shunned - Cilantro rice 99 cents

Black or ranch beans                                    99

a side of guacamole $2

Onion Strings $4.75 and well worth every penny.

Sweet corn salsa or roasted corn salsa  Both 99 cents 

I can hardly wait I love lobster - Maine or Mexican slipper lobster.  A brief on lobster stories:  In case you don't know, Baja that well- between Rosarita Beach and Ensenada there is a modest little place called Lobster Village and they aren't kidding.  Every corner with a restaurant has a barker out front cajoling, urging to come where the good lobster are.  There is pretty much just one format for serving and what is served.  Join me - a large platter of lobster just off of the mesquite-fired barbecue.  A family-sized bowl of re-fried beans,  a pile of tortillas for ease of eating and handling. and I seem to member something green and salad-y but can't remember what the hell it was.  Fiesta was the general air there.

Tomorrow we will tackle my cousin, Doug, and the Lobster Pig.  Which you will find is him.


.

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Sunday Laughs

Jay runs "Sunday is Fun Day" a collection of puns, many of which are quite funny.  It hasn't come in yet today will apprise you then.

Meanwhile, I came across a favorite site on boredpanda.com  It's the El  Arroyo, Austin, TX.  They're famous for their signs - a sample; see'em all at Panda

Introverts Unite!  Separately! In our own homes!

I just know I'll die trying to pet something I shouldn't  

I'm not aging like wine; I'm aging like milk - getting sour and chunky

The fact that I rejected napping as a child makes me sick

I'm so tired of babysitting my Mom's grandkids.

I need to teach my facial expressions how to use their inside voice.

Shout out to anyone who got thru today without a nap!  Pulling an all-day-er is tough!

Taken Two Ways?  (ed.)  I don't understand why people  have to "Get ready for bed" - I'm always ready for bed.

IF CATS COULD TEXT YOU, THEY WOULDN'T

Procrastinators Unite - Tomorrow!

We wanted to be adults so bad - now look at us.

And lastly - Top Three Hard Things tp Say

1.  I was wrong; 2.  I need help  3.  Worcestershire Sauce 

Lovely sunny day - go out and enjoy it!

Saturday, September 18, 2021

The Earthquake

Us.  We were sitting in "our" chairs; Richie in his recliner and I in my armchair - when there arose such a clatter - oops it's not Christmas 

Earthquakes generally announce their  arrival by (I think) by starting far below the surface and as they move farther up, they get to the stuff that will rattle and by then shaking has become involved.

Happily though they rarely last long.  This scary event can take as little as 12 seconds.  Northridge some years ago was an exception.

Reactions included - my sister in Illinois where they have few earthquakes, who wrote, "Fun!"  They need more to do in Illinois.  Our friend Mouton said, "It felt like someone kicked the back of my chair" with which I would concur.  

The best part of this one (if possible) is that no injuries were reported and no damages either.    

Friday, September 17, 2021

Mask Fatigue?

Reading through a mask -  or critiquing for that matter through one is annoying.  Faithful members of the South Bay Writers Workshop can tell you all about it - consensus is that we hate them.   

Finally I remembered transparent visors that come down from the forehead rather than up from the neck.

Where could we get them?  "Hi, Google!"

Home Depot   $14.97

PETCO    $10

ACE Hardware    $7.09

A super frugal member of our group proposed - WalMart Saran Wrap $3.75 100 ft.

I'd go for PETCO myself...

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Conversely...

On September 7th I wrote a column  on soccer star Jean-Pierre Adams who had just died after 39 years in a coma.

Coincidentally, Lawrence Brooks, of New Orleans had celebrated  his 112th birthday becoming the oldest WW2 veteran so far on September 6th.  

He was born in 1909, one of 15 kids.  He and wife Leona went on to have five kids, 13 grand kids and 22 great grandkids.  Leona died in 2008.  Today Lawrence lives with a daughter at her house in New Orleans.  When Hurricane Ida rolled in he was moved to a hospital to made sure that he would have fresh water and electricity.

The Museum of  WW2 New Orleans holds an annual birthday party for him,.  Pandemic necessitated a parade of honking cars and marching bands due to Covid19 

When asked about his longevity, he remarked that his Daddy always told in "Be nice to people."

The highlight of this year's celebration his body responded to the music and he stood up from wheelchair (formerly a cane) and danced a bit.  I can understand that - I love the blues and if I could get up at that kind of age, my feet would start movin'.

This is the ironic part to me - both men were prisoners of their own bodies. 

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Shocking Lack of Common Sense

.Bob Enyart who broadcasted out of Denver and from the pulpit of a church there.  Enyart espoused such believes as that the hated vaccine was made from aborted fetal tissue.  Of course this isn't true.

He thought woman who had had an abortion should face the death penalty.  And his broadcast co-host said "he was the smartest man I've ever known."  This is smart?  Strikes me as bat shit crazy. 

Enyart was also insanely malicious.  In the 1990s, he read AIDs victims obituaries  on the air while playing Queens' "And Another One Bites The Dust"  and no doubt clapping and laughing.

Particularly when Queen died of AIDs in 1991, age, 45.  His own song for his obit?  That's pretty strong and not in a good way.

But the bright side is one more over the top conservative is not going to be spewing hate anymore.

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Recovering from four days in the hospital.

It apparently takes two days while you recover from that!   

Hospitals are no fun at all . I missed home unbearably. Recovering  is what I'm doing  with good success because I never want to have to go there again.. 

I miss not writing (even though you may not!)   Today we vote on ousting Newsome.

Wednesday  the physical therapist comes to the house (their choice)

Thursday - we'll be at our usual place - and how we've missed it -inside with heat in the winter and a/c in the summer; indoor bathrooms year' round.   The Senior Citizens center at Veterans Park, Redondo Beach

Friday - (shrug - dunno)

But all is not lost

My friend Sheila, in Israel sent the following:

Have faith in Pfizer - if they can raise the dead, they can save the living

A little kid was asked by the priest "Do you know why I wear this collar?" and the kid said, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for 30 days."

Life is not a fairy tale - if you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Explaining an absence

Wednesday morning I found myself showing the signs of a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) sever enough to call the paramedics and spent the next four days in Providence Little Co. of Mary hospital.  I got home yesterday.  I feel fine and am recovering nicely. 

And that's why no blogs for four days.  

All's well that ends well!  I.E FREEDOM


Tuesday, September 7, 2021

"Wake Up, Dammit!"

(Sound of a hearty slap) in this case to the cheek of Jean-Pierre Adams a former soccer star who would go on to lie in a coma for the next 39 years until he died September 6, 2021.  His wife Bernadette cared for him and would not even consider euthanasia. She and the couple's two sons, born well before the coma, were at his bedside when he (finally) died.

The cause of this prolonged nap was botched anesthetizing by a novice anesthesiologist.  He didn't come back due to ventilator ignorance which sucked oxygen out of his longs, not pump it in, thus giving him a bronchospasm depriving his brain of oxygen after what had been considered a minor knee surgery.

In digging around I was surprised to read that Evel Kneival lay in a coma for 29 days after his failed attempted jump over the Caesar's Palace fountains.  

Women can hang in there, too, as evidenced by Elaine Esposito who lingered for 37 years and 111 days. 

29 days seems a lot more reasonable than 29 years.  If you have to have a coma.


Sunday, September 5, 2021

Welcome Back!

The South Bay New Orleans Jazz Club is what I'm talking about.  After Covid 19 shut it down for two years.

A small piece of our former lives is coming back - live music, raffle tickets for some dandy stuff and the pleasure of seeing everyone again.  Added bonus - live music and the wonderful inter play of the band members with each other.  It's all a joy and it's this afternoon.   

Saturday, September 4, 2021

Well None of Us Will Be Invited...

 

To the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II.   First things first - first thing is she has to die.  Then a senior aide or equivalent announces "London Bridge Is Down" announcing to those in the know that She has, in fact, died. 

 Prince Charles and the PM have a conference and Charlie makes a speech followed by a Service of Remembrance. 

Day 1, at 10 a.m. Charles is named King.

Day 2 The coffin travels from Buckingham Palace to Westminster 

Day 3 King Charles embarks on a power tour ? hitting Scotland first, then Northern Ireland wending the way to Wales.  After that QE2 will rest in state for 3 days, 23 hours a day.

As I understand it, she will be interred at Windsor in the King George VI* Memorial Chapel.

"The King's Speech"

Friday, September 3, 2021

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

Keep what you do say as kindly as you can. 

Thus, notes on a dinner at

Seaview Bistro, 1420 W 25th Street, San Pedro, CA.

The occasion was a belated birthday celebration for Mouton who chose the place according to tradition.  Birthday Person picks the place.  

The place is tucked away in a corner of a mall and there was no glimpse of anything other than the parking lot out front.  And you had to be out on a spacious and drafty patio in front to even see that.  .  I ordered French Fries for the table with our drinks - flutes of champagne from a bottle I bought ($24)

  They were billed as "lemon garlic" but as there was no hint of either flavor, don't believe 'em,   The men ordered the evening's special a collection of shrimp in a red spicy sauce over pasta.    All three of them ate them right up.  They liked them!  The specials  were $81 for three guys. 


The server's were quite nice.  The entire staff came out from the kitchen to sing "Happy Birthday" to our honored dignity.  On tune, too!

I hope to have a much more positive report next Friday after next Thursday's lunch at Nick's at the old Metlox Pottery site in Manhattan Beach. Manhattan Beach Blvd and Valley. Check out their menu.  We members of the South Bay Writer's Workshop will be honoring Mo's birthday.  Her newest book will soon be in your book stores; more of which later.  

Found the Seaside Bistro bill

The (No) lemon, garlic, Spicy Fries $6.50

Homemade onion rings (again with our drinks) and they got snapped right up  $5.50

Including food and drinks and the Champagne at $24 our tab came to $170 plus tip and the guys tip in cash.


Thursday, September 2, 2021

Old Customs Die Hard - Oops Sorry

I'm referring to an ancient custom of loved ones sitting up with the deceased all of the night before the funeral.  

Tuesday Richie's brother Charlie called to tell us that a fellow clammer,  Bay Man  and good friend of theirs had died.   For reference his name is Sonny Nogiewich.  Charlie didn't know what got him, but from info gleaned at the visitation today, it was cancer.  Type not specified but we are hoping for more information after the funeral today.  

Richie asked Charlie who would be sitting up with him.  I was puzzled.  Richie guessed "Cookie" (ex-wife)  or their daughter Debby.  

They finished their conversation and I asked Richie,  "Do they still do that?  "Sit up with the body all night?" and he replied, "Sure" and in turn looked quizzically at me like, "Where have you been?"  I bet the daughter.   

Some Up All Night History.  

Some religions believe that post mortem, the soul wanders around  being attacked or attacking other souls and apparently having a human there is a good idea.  Go figure. 

Embalming didn't begin until the Civil War.  And it was a job done in the deceased's home.  Up  until the early 1900s when funeral homes appeared.  Previously a neighborhood lady or a man  would take charge of washing the body and dressing it in Sunday Best.  It was a profession among many of them  I imagine  it to have been akin to "Get the midwife!"

Visitation garb for mourners was expected to be Sunday Best, too, but with people being so time-stressed, it is perfectly okay today to pop in to the visitation straight from work.  

Today the all-night visitation is held in the funeral home; not the person's home unless it was cremated and then you could take the ashes anywhere you wanted.  For example, I told Richie, "If you go first I'm taking your ashes to the  Pitcher House, Upper Deck for your last Stella Artois.  He laughed - kind of coldly.

Stay tuned for who was Up All Night.  Which cancer it was and other details as their petals slowly open


Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Snail Mail

A clearly homemade stick and cardboard sign stuck in the dirt next to a verdant vegetable garden that reads:  

EVERY VEGETABLE IN THIS GARDEN HATES YOU 

credit boredpanda.com

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

New in The Restaurant World?

I happened to glance at our tab at Hof's Hut where we'd just finished lunch which is cleverly near the eye surgeon's offices.  Of course I'd made an 11:30  a.m. appt.  A different doctor gets a 4.pm. appt so that we are well positioned for a beer  at the Pitcher house, Upper Deck.  Plan ahead for God's sake!

Back to business - Hedoism

The line that got my attention, running across the top of the bill read:

"Server: Lisa      DOB 8/30/2021"  As I studied that I thought, "That's today That's not a baby! What the hell?   The bell finally rang and I realized it had to be her birthday.

Was that a solicitation for a bigger tip because it was her birthday?  Entirely possible because the clientele is largely senior citizens and they would appreciate their regular server  with cold cash.

Hof's Hut is famous for their chicken pot pie and they have a variety of pies for dessert.  All soft on the teeth.  Huge portions to easily have again for dinner.  

Hof's Hut, 23635 Crenshaw Blvd, Torrance  hofshut.com 



Monday, August 30, 2021

There's a Bounty On'em!

I am referencing the up-tick  of the death rate for Florida conservative radio hosts.  So far - they are:

Marc Bernier, Daytona

Dick Farrel , Miami and Palm Beach

 and an interloper from Nashville - Phil Valentine.  

All three railed against getting The Shot and and all three regretted that oversight  -from their hospital death beds.  Thanks Raffish  

A cheerier subject is the proverb - A falling knife has no handle.

Sunday, August 29, 2021

Waiting in Vain

How many times have weather men freaked out about a possible worst ever  hurricane in (place and date) - they really go nuts.  Well, from a safety point of view this is a good thing.  "Better safe than sorry."

The mandatory photo for a weather person (usually a male) is standing near a body of water being buffeted by high winds while standing in water with a live microphone. 

  I think you're - the audience - supposed to think, "Oh, what awful winds!  How brave he is!  Not me.  I tend to think of the 1st responders who could be helping - really helping- such as  old people on their domicile's roof waiting for a motorboat to get them down.

And not some grandstanding weather broadcaster. 

Many of us may well have someone we love out there for any given weather event  and speculation about speed or arrival of the most deadly hurricane since 1899 is not helpful - especially since most often the weathermen have whipped everyone into a lather only to hear next morning "Hurricane Worst Ever has been downgraded to a Tropical Storm Worst Ever  status. 

But it is looking dolefully to be "Not this time."  God bless all involved in rescue work. And for God's sake get Granny's bottle of vodka away from her. It's not suitable for roof sitting.

Friday, August 27, 2021

The High Cost of Living

I thought that a $500 Rx was bad.  I wasn't even on planet Earth.  The $500 drug in question was a trials drug, betcha.  The doctor prescribing the drug  kept emphasizing  that it was rather expensive adding that insurance didn't cover the cost "because it's a little expensive" and it wasn't until the pharmacy called to say it was in.  Handed it over to me and said, "That'll be $500."  "For a drug that doesn't work all that well?" I howled.  "I don't want it."  The doctor had given me a small free bottle and I didn't even finish that.  

Today I got a note from my cousin, who wrote, "My sister has finished her third round of radiation to treat her liver and brain cancers simultaneously.  She told me the drug comes in pill form and costs $300,000 per pill.  She will have to take two pills about a month apart.  Her insurance plan denied the claim so her doctor got the drug maker to get her enrolled in a trial at M D Andersons Cancer Center ; both pills were reduced to a single co pay of $5,500. This drug has 42% more time . 

Note; this report was edited by this editor,

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Malicious Old Woman Here

 I've said for years that someone oughta bury him; now they have to.

Being nosy in addition to mean, I read that he was diagnosed in 2004 with throat cancer.  Outcome of that unknown by that writer.

Can't find "the London hospital" that he died in.  Surprised the hospital didn't want the fame of having a dead Stone on their premises.  

Patience -we will all know in the fullness of time.

Meanwhile condolences to his wife, family, and friends. 

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Restaurant Review Coming Up

We and Dee and Mouton celebrate  birthdays by going out to dinner, restaurant chosen by the birthday boy (since I'm the only female)  The month of August is Mouton's choice and he chose Seaside Bistro in San Pedro.  Checking out the menus I saw that breakfast offers an extensive list of imaginative items.  But we're doing dinner as always. 

And as always I'll report back.

Speaking or Just Thinking about Food    

From Sheila, in Israel

Eating raw fish was called poverty not sushi

None of us had ever heard of yogurt

Cooking outdoors was called camping.

Fish didn't have fingers.

Or 'so it's said.


Monday, August 23, 2021

Because the French (collectively) are honoring Josephine Baker

There's suddenly a new interest in her, who was variously nicknamed the Black Venus, the Black Pearl, the Bronze Venus or the Creole Goddess.  It comes with the recent opening of a movie about her titled "The Josephine Baker Story. "

In addition to her career as a singer, dancer and "vedette" meaning "star" it could be said that she was also a collector of children.

She called the 12 children - two daughters to whom she had given birth and 10 adopted sons - The Rainbow Tribe - and to mention a few; they were variously from Belgium, Finland, Japan, Venezuela and France.

At age 68 she died of a massive stroke in Paris' Salpetriere Hospital.  If  that name sounds familiar for some reason; Princess Diana died there, too.  If I were a celebrity, I think I'd stay the hell away from it.  Just a word of caution.


Saturday, August 21, 2021

Things That Caught My Eye In the News This Morning

Higher Ambitions

Prince Harry and his wife seem not to be content with being the Duke and Duchess of Sussex but are aiming much higher - the King and Queen of Hypocrisy.

The media was all over Harry's recent ride home from  a  polo match in Aspen  to his home in Santa Barbara, a 750 mile, two hour trip on a friend's private Gulfstream jet that seats 20.    The trip is believed to have emitted 10 tons of CO2.  into the environment.  I'm just surprised that the trip wasn't a round trip to give a lecture on the horrors  of climate change, CO2 emissions and so on.  They certainly capable of that kind of hypocrisy.


Hurricane/ Tropical Storm Henri

Something of a worry as it's supposedly on a trajectory with Long Island where more than quite a few of Richie's relatives live which is Huntington which is on the north side of Long Island.

The south side is where the swells live in huge, extremely expensive houses.  The Hamptons North and South. 

  His brother and his wife; their sons Sean and Bryan, his wife and their 17 year old daughter.  

Because the younger two (Sean and Bryan) are Baymen and work on the water - clams, lobster, and similar, they both have boats and with Henri, they have to pull their boats.  I'll ask about specific details.  Since the boats get pulled for winter, they've undoubtedly got the technique down pat.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

Construction Details

We had a wood-trimmed balcony - and I say "had" because termites ate  a lot of it.  Richie, son of a spec builder - he bought the land, put up a house and sold the house for a profit got right on it.  He called Silva Construction, builder  of choice, for the past 30+ years.   Dave (Silva) did three architectural drawings of the finished  new balcony, we okayed one and construction began.

Not with a whimper but a resounding b a n g!  The workers start at 8 a.m. and quit at 4 - and you can set your watch by them.  

And I think every cat in the neighborhood does.  Our cat Fred seems to sense them coming coming from  as far away as the exit off the 110 FW and is seen no more by us.  Or anyone else. 

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Sea Worthy

A yacht cruised slowly across the harbor.  Festooned with flags from stern to gudgeon.  What did they spell out?   So many flags...


                        Seas the day!



 Thanks Janet for  a buying these cocktail napkins.  When are they delivering the yacht to go with them? 

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Day 2 of Height Hell Has Come

I am referencing a scatter shot where in:  our old redwood balcony over the years (36) which termites have done a job on.  Who do you call?  Silva Construction!  Dave   and his various crews have done all of the necessary work here for all those years.

I was dismayed and wanted and still want to destroy all the termites in North America.  This replacement balcony wasn't cheap but it will last another 30 years or so.  Silva Built Stays Built.

That balcony is two stories above the ground.  It is also only about 36/40 inches wide.  I am  terrified of heights.  Having heard very loud noises and being elsewhere in the house, I walked back into the living room to find the balcony gone except for the floor.  Just  a blank deck straight out into nothingness if you don't count the massive avocado tree and the huge tree with red berries that takes up the other half of the back yard. 

I spent the day quivering with fear.  I did say I was terrified by heights.  You could have rebutted that I could have gone downstairs and gotten away from seeing it.  And I did only now to be fearful of a worker falling past the office window!  The window is covered by the leaves of the avocado tree but how good a landing spot  they might be only calls for speculation. 

Today they're cutting the wood for the posts and slats.  And the roar of the saws is rampant over the West. 


 

Monday, August 16, 2021

Yesterday's Funeral for the Poop Deck

 The place was packed; the noise level was truly horrendous

A lovely couple, probably in their mid 60s,  invited the three of us to take the empty seats next to them.  Happily, we accepted their truly kind invitation. It was a zoo in there!   They were on our right.  On our left was a group of six - three men; three young ladies.

Chatting idly with the couple, I said that we should all sing For Auld Ang Syne and they thought it was a fine idea.  I then turned to the youngsters and asked them. One of the young women said, "What's that?"  

Her date looked embarrassed.  


Saturday, August 14, 2021

A Day When You Learn Something is a Life Bonus

Richard Fosse, food columnist, writing in the Easy Reader, was the  source of "new" today.

I had never heard of something called "fry sauce" for preparing hamburger patties or a sauce to dip one's French Fries - white potato or sweet potato fries.


Fry Sauce 

a judicious combination of:

mayo

ketchup

vinegar

Worcestershire

a little cayenne

Too taste it without having to mix it up at home, go to Oceans Cafe and Grill, 12501 Vista on the beach at  first stoplight north of Grand Avenue.  I'd google maps myself.


But who knew about "fry sauce?"  Now we do! 

Friday, August 13, 2021

LAST cHANCE sALOON.

Our (Dee, Mouton and Richie and self) beloved Poop Deck on the Strand in Hermosa Beach is closing this Sunday.  Over the years we have relished the view from their one-way picture windows at the front of the bar many times.  We particularly loved people watching from that perch because passing people are so varied.  There's only one unifying factor - the amounts of bare skin.  In some cases, yards and yards of skin

The only thing we've never seen is a man of the cloth grabbing a little sun as he strolls leisurely along the Strand waving at parish members.  

And this Sunday is it's demise said the owners.  Gossip has it that it will  become a grocery and sandwich shop.  So, as any decent person would do we are attending the funeral.  Maybe now we'll see a man of the cloth?    

And now we read that "The Deck"  it's spiffed up image name is serving food, which was something of a shock.  Never in the 40 or so years we've been going have we so much as been offered a single potato chip.  for all four of us! Now they have Cheese and Chicken Quesadillas for $4   The Deck Burger  is $10 to give you a vague idea what's on offering.  Bar food.  Too little, too late flickered through my mind.

Here is  a tidbit of history abut the (largely)  sand part of the Strand upon which  the Poop Deck sits.

It was a Spanish Land Grant in 1882;part of the Rancho Sausal Redondo.  Barley grew and sheep grazed in waves. 

And what on Earth is a Poop Deck anyhow?  It's the prow of the vessel which juts out in front  and has a hole in the floor,  It is used as you would expect.  And from that came "The Head" used on land as well.


Thursday, August 12, 2021

Odds and Ends

Jeopardy 

New Hosts   Mike Richards and Mayim Bialik  I liked Mike from the gitgo and have not changed my mind.   Great energy but not bellowing.  I can't remember her - short week for her?  but will when it's her turn.  I wonder if they have green room lotteries for hosting that week?

Courtesy boredpanda.com.

"Feeling a bit paranoid - remember you are not alone.

Someone's therapist knows all about you  (Somewhat sinister that one!)

Although Richie mutes ads, quite a few manage to slip through.  The many, many prescription drug ads and awful diseases must have most of Europe thinking all Americans are watching Jeopardy, for example. from their deathbeds.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Speaking in Tongues

 A reference to our French class this afternoon.  It meets every Tuesday from 1:30 to 2:45 p.m.  The time in class truly flies.   The teacher is nearly as fluid as a French-born native.  Classes are held in a large room set up like a living room, at the Hermosa Beach Community Services Building facing Pier Avenue - next to the skateboard court?  

It's a very pleasant way to pass a Tuesday afternoon.   Y'all come!

Saturday, August 7, 2021

Dubious PR

The BBC always calls our American "Shot" "A Jab" which is not what anyone could call enticing.

Particularly when the Brit Jab looks much more like the Brit Stab.  For a sample view "Doc Martin" PBS Thursday nights at 8 p.m.


Part 2 is that someone should give the not so redoubtable Dr. Fauci the word to lighten up!  Gloom and doom are his only messages.    If they had come true, we'd all be dead  

He is as useless as tits on a boar.

Friday, August 6, 2021

Lunch Out!

Does the socializing ever stop?

Thurs. seven of the writers gathered at the Ragin'Cajun Cafe at 525 S PCH, Redondo Beach   Once in awhile we decide we should gather at noon at a restaurant.  Yesterday was it.  

The food at the Cajun is very good and moreover, the portions are insanely large.  "Could I have a go box?" rang across the traffic on Pacific Coast Hwy.  

We all had lemonade or iced tea even thought they run a full bar.  A drink before dinner, sure.  Lunch not so much.

I got fried pickles (well coated with breadcrumbs) for the table but had few takers.  This is an item that I always order now after discovering it on a previous visit - Shrimp, Crab and Corn Bisque and hold the rice.  Great looking at the table.   Given the praise my bisque got I bet every one of them will order it on their next visit.

We weren't working (reading and critiquing) but indulging in desultory chitchat.  One of our group volunteered that she grew up with Gaelic-speaking parents ergo she spoke it, too,   Some years later, forgotten, of course.  It you don't use it frequently, you lose it.  

After we were home I remembered something "Irish" in my own life.  The wit of the staircase - your best material occurs to you when you're leaving a festive gathering.

Mine.   Richie's family are all 100% Irish-American.

His parents hadn't been able to attend our recent wedding so we flew back so they could get a good look at me.  I remembered something I had read recently.  In olden days  when a great many Irish immigrated to New York and/ Boston - so many- that signs soon popped up in store and restaurant windows.  N I N A, they said "No Irish Need Apply  We all had a good laugh.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Hmmm

Simone Biles - the Brittany Spears of the gymnastics world? 

Cuomo the sex fiend (or so accused).  I fault the women involved.  If you can't make it very clear to a marauding predator that his or her attentions are unwelcome you better go home and stay there.  You aren't old enough to be out in the world.  

ADD:  Last night Richie was watching an NHRA drag race and they started announcing some very familiar names - racers I covered back in the '80s such as Eddie Hill (retired as is 85; John Force, 72, still competing.  I said to Richie, "So, do they use their walkers to get from their pits to the track and their car?" 

This morning my research turned up unwelcome news - Eddie's wife Ercie  is dead at 74.  Be careful what you're looking up?

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

We're Having a small taste of a social life!

Never thought I'd see the day!  This week alone - wow!  Today - 10-10:30  Dave our construction guy coming to show us and explain architect's plans to to fix the balcony redwood lattice with Douglas fir.   The termites have gone to war.  

French class resumes at the Hermosa Beach Community Center at 1:30 t0 2:45 pm  

Wednesday, 4 p.m. routine appt with cardiologist which is always a joy as he has a great sense of humor.

Thursday (our former only source of entertainment) the South Bay Writers Workshop from noon to 2 p.m. Visit our Website:  southbaywritersworkwshop.com 



Friday, July 30, 2021

A New Source

For Grand Larceny - and outright theft.  That would be The New Yorker - because  I get their discounted rate.  It's very expensive without it.  You can get it, too.  Get a (name of State) dba  I have a California dba and get such as these for $10 a year.  Vanity Fair, Architectural Digest,  Bon Appetite, 

The New Yorker  provided sustenance right away with the following cartoon.  A small hand reporter's lined tablet as follows.  

To Do

1.  Write Oscar Acceptance  speech

2.    Write movie that will win Oscar

3.  Write book that movie will be adapted from

4.  Pitch book idea

5.  Have idea



Thursday, July 29, 2021

Going To The Dentist - Choose One

My reaction to an upcoming dental appt. is:   NO! NO!  

Meh what's the fuss - they give you drugs - it can't hurt 

Lots of people have very sensitive gums? Can't be the teeth - think of their construction.  Eh, let's just go with : "sensitive mouth."  I'm one of them and am very happy to report a new drug.  

Used to be that the gum numbing was given via a gel on the end of a Q-tip rubbed all around the gums.

But now - ah, bliss.  Tiny little dispensers - a needle that dispenses the numb-er under the gums!  You'll hear a tiny "click, click" as the dispenser does it's job.  

What you won't feel is a numb throat - saliva travels deadening much in it's path.   So go gently and calmly into the black void of getting your teeth cleaned.  Good dental hygiene is all.

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

New Motto For the Olympics

"Go hard or go home"  For your convenience I have translated it into:  


French - Allez dur ou rentrero la maison

Italian - Tieni duro o vai a casa

German - Geh hart odor geh nach hause

Spanish - Dalo todo o vete a casa


Repeat as needed

 

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Olympic Oddities

Two of them are surfing and skateboarding.  Both just seem more So Cal. than an international event like the Olympics.  I should have said that I admire  the athleticism of everyone competing as well as the hand eye skills necessary.  Both of which are necessary to even get to Olympic grade status.

This surprised me - gold and silver respectfully in skateboarding went to two 13 year girls.

In surfing, one contestant competed with a broken board.  Did you even know one could break a surfboard?  I sure as hell didn't.

Onward Olympics!

Monday, July 26, 2021

1, 2, 3 - The three scents of rain

#1  A  sudden feeling of heaviness surrounding the air around you  - a different kind of breeze - sweet somehow.

#2  It's the middle of the true rain (not that memos are issued to let us know it's okay to driver over to the store)  The scent is heavier though - I think it's the ozone now being emitted as the storm mounts and intensifies.  

#3  The  storm ends - at least on your street.  Small  pearl-sized rain drops cruise past the window or the screened-in Florida Room.  

                                    And now the scent of the rain has vanished.


Friday, July 23, 2021

A Birthday Today

Monica Lewinsky is 48.  

Doesn't it feel like just yesterday she was tiredly raising herself from her kneeling position and easing her kneepads gently off as the 42nd  United States President  chuckled happily as he exited the little room he stood in and continued on through the doorway into the Oval Office?  

A thoughtful reader wrote "Surely Monica is old enough now to admit her false claim.  Bill stated that he did not have sexual relations with that woman. 

Thursday, July 22, 2021

The Absurdity of Lingual Over Use.

I'm referring to the  extreme  overuse of "racist!"  Example - My cousin in Indiana reported that he heard  about this interchange between a male customer and a female server. The customer asked for a dollop of whipped cream on top of his coffee, please and she said, "O that's racist!!'  and turned to her various urns and hissing machines and huffed away.  This interchange befuddled both my cousin and me.

How about this?  Eating Oreo cookies means you are a racist!

Then all of a sudden the word that shamed and horrified was no longer in much use.  I (and my cousin) were happy.  But no less mystified.

Be careful what you wish for was rarely truer.  And what's the new blame-it catch phrase?  "Climate Change."

I expect to hear things like - your toilet's tank is empty because Las Vegas gets all of the water in their vast pools  and don't overlook the Mirage fountains .

The power outages are a result of all the lights used in   Las Vegas signs. . Astronauts have remarked on the beauty from space  

Stay home and play board games with the family    If you just have to have money, I recommend" Left Right Center."  You'll need $3 in quarters in your bank but  that cuts your losses in Vegas very easily.  $3 being the max you can loose@   And by staying at home you are saving our planet for our precious chilllldren!

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Did You Know?

 That there was a man on the moon - 1969   before  wheeled luggage was patented in 1974?

Who knew?  

And that the bag design firms would go so wild for them because people fell in love with them?


Thanks, Jay!

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Kids Re-Visited

 If you're old enough you might remember this TV program.  "Kids Say the Darnd'est Things' featuring Art Linkletter.  boredpanda.com has upgraded this old show (probably because it turned out some hilarious moments) using more modern items.  

See if any of these bring  a smile.

Kleenex - "Bless you box"

Car sunroof - " Sky Window"

Trampoline - "Jumpoline"

Empire State Building - "Vampire State Building"  hmm

Deodorant  -"Armpit Makeup"

Dandelions  - "Wish Flowers"

Eggs - "Butt Fruit"  You gonna  join me in never eating another egg in your life" 

Movie Concession Stand - "Confession Stand"  A lot depends on the movie

Gloves - "Finger mittens"             I remember the German for mittens - hand shoes.

 

Monday, July 19, 2021

Royals Are So Tight That ..

If you gave them a nickel they would squeeze it until the buffalo pooped.  

Royals don't carry cash; Princess Margarete didn't even have a credit card.  She does get cash by taking gifts - how you ask?  One gift was a gift basket that was so big it took two people to carry it into Her Presence.  Boxing Day she and a Lady-in- Waiting hied themselves over to Crabtree and Evelyn and returned it for cash!  The manager said it was against store policy but she wouldn't budge and left licking her chops in glee and counting the money.

One of Prince Charles valets had to load his solid silver toothbrush with the toothpaste every night.  He traveled with a stuffed teddy bear,  Once he forgot it so one of the Queens Flight planes had to turn the plane around and go get it.

The Queen once gave her laundry lady a big basked of clothes pins - her idea of a practical gift.

Another time one of her corgis killed a rabbit and the Queen, handed it to her chef and  said, "Oh good, we can eat this!"

One year she gave all of her staff members potted chrysanthemums with instructions:  when the flowers die return the pot to the head gardener.  The populace approved of one of her water-saving ways.  Every bathroom in Buckingham Palace warned ""Don't pull for a pee."  Reminded me of the old hippie adage:  "If it's brown, flush it down; if it's yellow, let it mellow."  She couldn't have  or did she .. 


Sunday, July 18, 2021

Get Dressed!

 Today is International Ice Cream Day and you might want to calendar it for next year.  July, 18th.

Why all of the agitation?  Many purveyors are giving away free cones!  So put down the Sunday paper; get dressed and git goin'! Your cone awaits!

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Thanks But We Don't Want It

 July 17, 1821, Spain ceded Florida to the United States.  At the time of this donation, it must have seemed like a good idea but today, I'm wondering, given today's world of masks and Covid 19 vaccinations what the protocol might be for the Return of a State Freely Given .  Florida rates of Covid are rising when most States are reporting fewer bad numbers.  

A number of these rising numbers of infection could be due to the Governor of Florida NOT making the hordes of Spring Break visitors wear masks and keep their distance.  Photos of beach goers, crammed in   together on the sand are chilling to see.  

To see just how crazy the residents can be read the novels of Edna Buchanan or Carl Hiaasen.  Guy fixes a missing arm by attaching a weed whacker as a replacement in a Hiaasen novel.  Buchanan's heroine is a crime reporter for the major Miami newspaper.   They're great reads, summer or not.  

Friday, July 16, 2021

"O darling - it's all so expensive."  

"But the public demands it"

"Humph - I think if the public found out exactly how expensive, there'd be a repeat of Bastille Day, only in England."

Princess Margaret gets married.  The blushing groom Antony Armstrong-Jones was well known to be homosexual.  It was said of him, "He doesn't know if he's Arthur or Martha."  His best man was so flagrantly gay that he was relieved of his duties and a substitute moved into his place.

The wedding itself cost $78,000 and hoping for a glimpse of Margarite's procession in a glass coach drew 100,000 with  100 horses as escorts.

People might have thought they were economizing by honeymooning on the Britannia, the Royal Family yacht, but this is economizing to a Royal?  The 44 day honeymoon at $30,000 PER DAY?  Margarite might have told Tony, "Let me take you on a sea cruise!"

When they returned from  this particular extravaganza they discovered they had a new home - a 10-room apartment in Kensington Palace.  And a willing public who allowed them $180,000 to refurbish it.  Meanwhile her State Allowance ran up from $18,00 to $45,000

Of note :  a reliable source (not me) claims that they liked to wear each other's clothes and take pictures of the new outfits.  On themselves.  Can you imagine what those pictures might be worth today?


Royal Treats

"The Bodyguard's Story," Diana, the Crash and the Sole Survivor by Trevor Rees-Jones

"A Royal Duty" by Paul Burrell Butler to Princess Diana's Butler

"The Queen & Di," the untold story

To give you a major tidbit from Kitty Kelleys' book "The Royals."  Both Queen Elizbeth and her younger sister (by 4 years) were the products of artificial insemination.  A duchess averred that George VI had " something about his willy," but didn't elaborate.




Wednesday, July 14, 2021

My Dad's Gift.

 When I was in the 8th grade, every one of us had to take ballroom dancing.  Classes were held one night a week.  The dance academy ball room was located in a big room over a bar.  My Dad, having done his stint as chauffeur, decided that was worth a beer down below and, having dutifully delivered me to the instructor, sallied forth below deck for a cold one.

Upstairs we plodded - you couldn't call it dancing by any stretch - around the scarred and nicked floor.    All of us were watching our feet and it wasn't until I noticed Daddy sitting  against the far wall.  He wasn't  alone; there was a stranger sitting next to him bellowing at peak volume some gibberish about WW1.  Daddy looked amused and when I happened to look up both Daddy and and the deranged man were gone.  Daddy was back shortly.

Driving home, "Daddy, who was that guy?"

"Dunno, Toots, but he thought he knew me.  You'll learn but if I'm in a room with 50 people the only crazy one will march right up to me just like he was one of my best friends."

What do you do, Daddy?"

"I'll tell you what to do - run!"

Now cut to a wonderful dive bar that had a name change from The Poop Deck to The Deck. The fa├žade

consists of two huge tinted picture windows and the entrance door.  Few things are better entertainment  than sitting on one of the stools and watching the endless parade of half dressed people skate boarding, or bicycle  riding .  Extensive plastic surgery would be mandatory if one of them fell.

We finally got window seating for the three of us - Dee being #3 of our party.  Watching with great interest out the window,  playing our own little game of "Find Dee a wife!" where-in I point out young lovelies and Dee shoot's em' down. 

Next thing I knew I felt a pair of warm arms hugging me from behind!  I whipped around on my bar stool and there stood a woman of a certain age, beaming at me.  She said, "I just have to hug people!"  "Not me, you don't - back the eff up."  I thought and stepped a step closer

I looked frantically at Richie and Dee, but they were busy laughing at me and of no use whatsoever. My look changed from imploring to slit-eyed hostile.  Meanwhile the lady had been rattling along to me and I didn't hear a word.  Until she pointed out a man further into the room.  She confided, "That's my husband - he was diagnosed stage 4 prostatitis.  "Scam on the horizon" and slithered off to the ladies room.  When I came back  she was gone and I was glad.



Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Tid Bits

 I noted in todays' paper (7/13/21)  that Johnny Gilbert, the long-time  Jeopardy! announcer is (presumably) celebrating his 93 birthday  today now  ponder this:  93 and still working! 

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This requires a little visualizing (it's a cartoon.)  Several cats are waiting in line according to a sign to buy $1 tickets to Ride a Roomba! with a happy cat doing just that in the background.  

source  boredpanda.com 

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We had a brief but loud rain storm this morning, and we've been in a drought so long that our cat Fred didn't remember the sound of rain on the skylight and went haring down the stairs at warp speed.  

New Holiday!  

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on Tuesday  7-17  There may be Free French Fries in your future

A French restaurant in Manhattan has a Special deal - 

$200 for an order of their celebratory meal French Fries.  I vaguely remember something about summer truffles from Italy  as well as 24l edible gold  nd the meat is marinated in champagne

                      



Monday, July 12, 2021

Whip me with chains - Slap me silly with a crispy lobster taco

Dee found a new restaurant on the Hermosa Beach Plaza.  He hadn't been in but said the menu looked promising.  That was all we needed to hear and promptly agreed on a  date for lunch  which was last Friday.

Lots of outdoor dining but it was  sunny day and it was pretty hot and so we elected to stay inside where it was dim and shadowy.  We were led into the dining/ bar area  and heaved our collective butts onto  to banquet seats. Our menus were substantial with long pages and small print.  We had to sip a Pacifico ( didn't have Maderno while pondered the menu. 

Of special credit for this (which you can do at home with minimal effort. )  Even though they bill themselves a Mexican place to our horror there were no chips and salsa.  A special keep it hot container held warmed tortillas well coated with honey butter.  Damn they were good!  A little pot of honey butter had refills.

Pretend this is from the menu (it includes prices.)

No meat Caesar  $11

Rib Enchilada Relleno  S16

Taqueria Langosta  $25.25

Taqueria Filet $13.50 

All of the food was very good.  We'd go back.

$33 in adult beverages - four Pacificos.

Palmilla Cocina y Tequila   .

The title above is a reference to the decor-  arches in doorways had long stretches  of a steel-colored chain in varying lengths.  Lobster tacos were generous with the lobster., a rarity.


Thursday, July 8, 2021

Two Very Different Men




Talking about Joe Biden and the late Prince Philip by Ingrid Seward who has made a cottage industry of researching, Royals, one by one and then cranking out a book about them. 

After a little researching of my own, I discovered that in the Biden book - entitled "Joe Biden, The Life" The Run " What Matters Now" by Evan Osnos Winner of the National Book Award

It's a short book (176 pages$23)

I learned that Joe Biden had surgery for an aneurism of the brain, discovered while on the campaign trail in Rochester, NY in 1988.   Surgery saved his life but it was a long recovery process.  Perhaps that's what gives rise to all of the dementia rumors, tales today?


Some Ingrid Seward volumes :  "Prince Philp Revealed"  A much meatier book - 374 pages  $30 

"Diana: An Intimate Portrait." 

"By Royal Invitation:  At home with the royal family - how they eat,  sleep (presumably with their mate, if any".   But then I think of Charles and Camilla - not so much maybe.

Other volumes cover how to look like a royal but not be one.  Show-off at the dinner table with  proper place settings "Fish fork 5 in. closer to the butter knife...  Various glasses, champagne flutes before the red wine."

Astute readers here may pick up on Seward's main theme in all of her books - curiosity about their  life styles.  It's as though the commoners want to peek behind the curtain.  I'm certainly one and I make no bones about it.  Consider this:  Queen Elizabeth travels with a white kidskin toilet seat.  Is there a Lady of the Toilet Seat?  And Noble Women who vie for it?  God save us all  along with the Queen.

Wednesday, July 7, 2021

Summer Snack from Italy

We "liberated" this from an Italian restaurant on PCH here in Redondo - Charlie's a NY Joint.  No idea what it's called in Italian, but stick your little plate out anyhow.  You'll need a melon of your choice, a quarter lb. of Prosciutto, a splash of good olive oil and a (singular) grind of sea salt.  

Cut the melon into cubes or slices, arrange prettily for guests; slurp it over the sink if it's just you. Over ripe melons are very juicy.   The sink rinses; an outfit has to go in the washing.


Side bar:  I keep seeing AITA in remarks from English writers and finally shifted my languid ass and found out:  it's  Am I the Asshole.

Monday, July 5, 2021

The Development of a Terminal Smart Mouth

I wrote what follows when I was 29. At that time 1969, it was fashionable among the intelligentsia to write  little essays and give it to the other guy as an amusement.  They returned this dubious Gift. Here is a sample:  I have no idea whatsoever who Mr. Ferree is or was.  None.


Dear Roger and Audrey - 

Thanks so much for your kind invitation to join you both on New Year's Eve, but unfortunately I am attending a right wing "Fuck Communism" party at that same time in Orange County.

We have been promised that a direct descendent of Betsy Ross and her Lesbian lover, Carry Nation, will be there to ferret out any Commie rats that might want to corrupt this sacred red, white and blue gathering.

Although you know my love of Scotch, we plan to drink only good American Bourbon and make love dog style so we can salute the flag on the "stroke" of midnight.


Should you decide to give up your gathering and join ours, it is being held at the American Legion Hall and I will be wearing all of my medals.  Again, thank you for your kind thoughts and I wish you the best for the New Year

                                                                      Yours in God and for a  beautiful  America


                                                                       William Ferree


 

                                                  


Sunday, July 4, 2021

News But NotParticularly OMG! Newsy

Every day our local paper runs a list of famous people whose birthday it is and not infrequently I find myself saying saying to Richie, "OMG it's (insert famous person's name)  birthday and I thought they were dead!"   Just as frequently he just looks at me. Married people know this look well.

Today In History is the column that runs next to the birthdays.  

Today's Birthdays

When I remembered that today's b-days were born on the 4th of July, an auspicious date if there ever was one, I instantly thought of "Born on the 4th of July" sung by Bruce Springsteen

Eva Marie Saint - 97

Gina  Lollobrigida  - 94

Eva Marie looks good - great bones hold up saggy muscle and skin.  Lived with less aggro - she married a Jeffrey Hadyn in 1951 and that marriage flourished until he died on Christmas Eve, in 2016.

Gina was said to be the wealthiest actress in Italy.   She, too, married once as well, Mr. Milko Skofic in 1949 until 1971.

Today in History  

July 4th, 1826 the day the Declaration of Independence was adopted both John Adams (90) and Thomas Jefferson (82)  died - five hours apart.  It is claimed that Adam said, (croaked from his deathbed?) "Jefferson lives."  But he didn't having died five hours earlier.   

Daniel Webster chimed in writing "Our patriots have fallen but at such an age with such coincidence that we cannot lament the end has come which we knew would not be long."

.

Saturday, July 3, 2021

Love Freebies?

Here's  an idea.  Yesterday was our 37th wedding anniversary and we celebrated with dinner at the Charthouse right on the sand in Redondo Beach.  

And then I got my bright idea/newest scam.  It might get you a free dessert - ours was a slab of chocolate Lava Cake.  So it works at least once.  

Bring along a picture of your wedding or other grand event -newborn or graduate or sports trophy or significant event in your life.  I do think though that an open coffin shot wouldn't be appropriate on a dinner table. 

I told our server that this would be a good promotion for the restaurant - "Celebrating an anniversary?  Bring in a picture for a free drink! (you don't need to mention that this free drink will be water)

After I told Jean  our server my great idea, she disappeared from our table, but two  minutes later was back with a water for each of us.  HIP? or WHAT?  20% tip - bet to it.

Friday, July 2, 2021

What a Difference!

 ModerNA  vs. ModeLO

One is an excellent Mexican beer; the other is an anti-virus shot

ModeLO- 4.5%  ABV with 143 calories per can and a taste of orange blossom (lovely soft flavor) honey and a hint of herbs   Available at Wal-Mart, Target, Ralph's Supermarket  

ModerNA - the anti Covid19 shot which side effects include the possibly of pain and redness in the shot site.  "ModerNA may or may not give you "Moderna Arm" - a rash.  Or possibly flu symptoms.  

I'd rather have a beer - how about you?



Thursday, July 1, 2021

Eight Laws of the Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair:  After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity:  Any tool, nut, bolt, screw when dropped will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is proportional to the stupidity of your act. 

Law of Random Numbers:  If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.

Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (coming back from Ensenada)

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the phone rings.  True of the shower, too. 

Law of Close Encounters:  the probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with  someone you don't want to be seen with.

The Law of the Result:  When you try to prove to someone won't work - IT WILL.


Thank you, Jay for these wonderful Simpsonisms.



























































































































































































































































































































































































































Wednesday, June 30, 2021

And the MidWest Collectively Quivers Under Their Beds

 What?  What?  Because of predicted thunderstorms across it.  Shout out to some friends - I see a foot sticking out!  Thunder'll  gitcha!

Jane (my younger sister) - Chicago suburb (Libertyville)  Family motto:  We never cry; we just make others bawl.

Barbra - Dallas/Ft. Worth

Joan - Houston

Caroline - Kansas City, Mo

Not the Midwest, but thundery anyhow - Fort Myers  Cousin Ruth Ellen and Aunt Pat

Denver - Mike and Grace

New Orleans - the bartender at the Absinth House

Wichita, Kansas - born there.  

  

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

What the mdedia's overlooked so far.

Putzing around I ran into this:

11 dead -  Updated:  16 dead

11 hurt

35 rescued from the undamaged side of the building. 

 2 rescued 

but 150 still missing. minus 5 for 145

Monday, June 28, 2021

Idle Speculation; Random Posits

I wonder what happens to rescued children discovered in situations like this condo crash.  Do they forever have to be reminded of it?  "Yes, you are our little wonder baby!" and smothers the poor kid in wet kisses (Why being a kid can certainly be tiresome.)    And parties that remark the occasion. "It was just five years ago that - Pass the potato salad, Myrtle." 

RE: Falling buildings.  I didn't think of this until 5 minutes ago.  Las Vegas.  You want it to rain people?  There's your place.  I'm thinking of the Rio with it's 50-story glass elevator - what? so spectators can see the terror in (rapidly) descending passengers faces?  

Our man in San Diego has just written that the same construction firm built another building there and residents are being urged to evacuate.

Saturday, June 26, 2021

Letter to the Editor

Avoiding Another Condo Crash as in Florida

Dear Sir: 

What if all of our Beach Cities Fire Departments put together a lecture/brochure on condo exit  in emergency situations and met with interested condo owners in a group setting?

Sincerely, Nina Murphy

Friday, June 25, 2021

Headline!

 Prince Harry flew commercial eschewing BA (British Air)  Specifically, American Airlines from LAX to LHR (Heathrow)  He's visiting to see the unveiling, with his older brother Wills, of a statue honoring their mother Princess Diana on the grounds of Kensington Palace.  Harry was on AA #134, 

AA#134 is a Boeing Triple 777-300  It carries 300 pax.  On Harry's flight (he was seated in 1st as you can imagine)  of the 8 seats, 5 were empty and blocked off, "A sure sign of a big wig on board," said a grizzled Flight Attendant  who'd seen'em all.

I knew that parking your butt in a recliner and slugging down champagne till you burble if you dare to get up is expensive and, always has been, so is here's a one passenger fare for a RT from LAX to LHR  -on AA .                                                                                  $13,277  

I can understand why Harry would prefer AA to BA - We flew BA once and that will be it forever.

Here's what BA  presented to me as a Bloody Mary:  a glass (plastic) with some ice, a tiny bottle of Skye Vodka and a pull-the-tab- yourself can of tomato juice.  Probably nothing even remotely spicy on the entire plane.

Even though their hats (some kind of WW2 bonnet) were cute, they  were snotty bitches and we had not been demanding in any way.

We were flying jumped-up Coach class - a new promotion in class.

A CONTRAST

AA, ah, dear, AA  They were starting a new route from DFW (Dallas) to Paris (CDG) and Mgmnt was looking for volunteers to take what I now realize was a shake-down flight for the Flight Attendants.  Didn't know then, wouldn't care now.   Hold your breathe (along with us but but we got 1st!)

Michelle picked us up, and we had  a wonderful 3 or 4 days, before Richie had to go back to work

Sometime later we got the bill.  $80 dollars each for RTs from Los Angeles to Paris and back in 1st!

Thursday, June 24, 2021

One More Bit - purported to be true

Wasn't there to verify, but it made the rounds.

 A flight had to be cancelled due to weather and one of the pax flew into a rage.  He stomped up to the  Gate Agents  little kiosk ranting and raging - He has to get that flight, "So I can be there for my two year twin sons birthday" as the agent tries to sooth him.  Driven by exasperation the man whipped out his business and peed all over her kiosk whereupon she looked him in the eye and said, "You fathered twins with that?'  General mirth all around.  The calm pax laughed so hard they nearly wet themselves!


Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Tid Bits, One liners and other oddities

Courtesy Readers Digest - where I read it so you don't have to - you're a busy person and I'm not.

A person who is not afraid of looking like a fool gets to do a lot more dancing.  Attention: Richie - he hops like the French do.  Take my word; they can't dance for shit.  I love to see them out on the floor, head's bobbing like corks and smirking at how they're blowing away the competition.   Not.

Spaghetti is hair for meatballs.  So much for pasta ever again.

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.  

I'm not screaming at you; I'm just talking to you loud.

In high school, every class is  a drama event. 

Watching a teenager on his smart phone, I realized the idiom "ll thumbs" might be doomed.

World scientists admit they just don't like mice.

To err is human to point it out with glee is Internet.

"Everyone who lined up 30 minutes early to board the plane is going to be so mad when we all land at the same time. "   Had to be a blonde, don't you think?



Tuesday, June 22, 2021

This'n That

We had the second Moderna shot yesterday.  Minimal affect until I went to  bed and then the shot site hurt the rest of the night!  Did this happen to you?  

I read in today's news paper that the city of Long Beach will be allowing the Grand Prix through their streets again this year.  I was a freelance photo journalist, (retired) and in fact I shot the first one.  

Michael Hixon. reporter, for the Daily Breeze, was looking for photos and some how he got my name and interviewed me which was funny since previously I interviewed the other person.  

To see this intrepid writer and see the pictures, simply Google   Nina Murphy, Long Beach Grand Prix.

Monday, June 21, 2021

Airline Jokes

American ex-ing out flights  left and right reminded me of some old jokes when for no discernible reason,  poking fun at airlines had  brief rise in popularity.    

TWA - Try Walking Awhile.  People apparently did - TWA is long gone.  United - Untied

What did the football player say to the Flight Attendant?  "Put me in Coach"  

Long ago -  These two were said to have occurred at Newark (EWR) outbound.

Lufthansa had done recount after recount of passengers (pax) and other flights were stacking up behind it. The line behind was getting longer and longer and those pilots were getting angrier and angrier.  Finally one of the waiting pilots, said, "Lufthansa, check your ovens!"

Inside that flight, the captain came on and said, "Ve are ready for take-off an I wat you to put on your set belts and I vant to hear vun click."  

A flight had to be cancelled due to weather and a male passenger is furious.  He storms up to the gate agent, ranting and raving - he has to get home for his twin two-year old's birthday  as the agent tries to calm him down.  His temper increases until he is in such a rage that he whips out his business and pees right on her kiosk.  He is putting his business away when she looks out at the angry mob around her and says, "You fathered twins with that?"  Bystanders nearly wet their own pants laughing.

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Help Crossing A Freeway for Wild Animals.

No idea who invented animal bridges, but my curiosity was triggered by a brief piece in boredpanda.com this morning in an article on what makes Japan so interesting (weird)

They have turtle tunnels.  Over railroad tracks  As I mused, wondering if the Japanese eat turtle meat - I wouldn't put it past them.  They eat raw fish for God's sake!

I remembered that we have deer overpasses in the US and some parts of Canada.  Where else?

Match the country with the probable animal being protected :

Finland - Singapore - Alberta, Canada - Netherlands  -- Colorado - Australian crabs so they can migrate from rain forests to the ocean. - Germany - Kenya  - Belgium

BTW Deer Hunters:  Don't Ambush bridged wild animals.  Utterly UN-sporting.  And unasked I think the custom of keeping "deer feeders" on your property is barbaric