Friday, April 29, 2022

I Knew They Can' Dance A Lick But Still

This is going too far . .French now fear the weekend dance floor.  There is a faceless assailant  who swiftly  sneaks up on ladies and gives them a shot in the arm with unknown contents.  The  only way the victim finds out is a red dot surrounding a bruise the next day.

Now having  been  ON a Fr. dance floor I can tell you with certainty that    frogs don't dance; they hop.  Up and down hop  hop hop.

But it is   rather a harsh punishment   don' you     agree?                           Nausea cramps - I forget   

Maybe  LePen  can   do something.                                                 

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Stop! I'm In Stitches!

In the course of an ordinary slip and fall, I put a gash in the back of my head that required stitches aka in today's world as "staples."It wasn't  particully painful until I went to bed - right on the 5 staples.  Ow!  But after that they got over themselves  and life went on.

Today they'd done the required seven days and could come out.  The ER house doctor called to tell me to come into the ER for staples   Doctor calls patient -STOP PRESSES!

It was painful but nothing you could't stand.

I'm not in stitches now.  Turn off the presses.


Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Your Relative is in jail scam

This happened   yesterday.  Phone rings.  male  identifies  as "your favorite nephew"  

Sad story ensues ;  nose broken; four   stitches in jail; needs bail; don't tell parents (My real nephew is 40 )

Enter lawyer on the phone  explaining how to get bail from LA to Conn.


Monday, April 25, 2022

Al and Me

 The way I found out about this was when the local paper started   running a column    of famous peoples birthdays that   day         And there we both were.  Same  year, month 

What else might we  share?t ?      Place of birth - East Harlem.

Axtel General Hospiital Newton, Kansas   Free bushel of good Kansas wheat with every birth.

One of several actors to win an    Oscar, Emmy, Tony.  I -once walked across   the stage in a little   theater    production                      

         H`APPY BIRTHAY AL !  


widita, N            

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Perhaps A Good Idea

To  share birthdays by halving  the times between them.  Here is an example  using family. My younger  sister 's in a suburb near Chicago.   You know where I am. Redondo Breach -  It makes sense to meet in t somewhere  middle somewhere agreeable to both. But where would we go?  We  almost simultaneously said  South Texas  where we have cousins we both love.  Meet in San Antinio.

But WHEN?  And I said "Split the difference

She's early November; I'm end of April so  `April to Nov is 8 months - July

When South Texas is roaringly hot.  No worries     - all of Texas is air conditioned

Now we can start this great plan with Sis this July. or not.  We both love to party...


Friday, April 22, 2022

ba hum bug



Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Bored Panda They're having a good day today

I like this as it was clearly well-researched = bed superstitions all things

Never put your hat on your bed --Never sleep with your head to the North

Always get in and out and out of your bed on the same side (What? you could get lost?)

If married, be wary of this one - sleep with an axe under  the bed.

Exiting to let you go to 

2 p.m. doctor's appt.  Routine

Monday, April 18, 2022

New Zealand, New Senior Hubby

Seniors all over are bored and looking for amusement so, I read some where they are open to various hobbies.  In their groups they are making coffins .

My own fa-in-law and his brother having priced them decided to make their own, "After all we are carpenters."  But nothing happened and in the end; they went commercial.

Tip - 

our   local supermarket - Ralph's is having their periodic sale  of cocktail shrimp.  Get there if you possibly can  lovely fat pink shrimp ' $5

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Happy Easter!

                             May you find all of your eggs! 

Friday, April 15, 2022


You will need:

1/slice of sour dough bread, toasted
i container cole slaw
1/2 lb. mortadella

While your bread slice toasts get out the slaw and mortadella

Spread the cole slaw thickly on the freshly toasted bread and "blanket" it with the mortadella.  .Eat with potato chips

Thursday, April 14, 2022

A Day in History

But you'd have to be living in 1914.   That's  when the Titanics sank    Today - April 14, 1914 

Never loathe to make fun of something I Googled  "Titanc jokes" and several sites popped up.  A couple of them are offered here."Want to play Titanic?  Every time I say Titanic you go down on me."

Passenger asks the Captain, How close are we to land? "  "2 miles." "Which direction?"  "Down"


Where the pool is always filled."

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Oh, boy

Yesterday's column was as badly ' written  as I've written in some time.  Let's see if I can do a better job today,

How did I know they were H'mooners?  The first thing they  orderedwas a bottle of champagne ad They told me and then, unhappy  Honeymooners in Booth #1 sent back their filet mignons. 

On receiving the perfectly good steaks Chef goes mad and sends me back with the steaks and a scathing lecture on the fine art of butchering  .  At the daughty Mermaid  filet mignon is served with a fine ruff of fat around the darling little steak which of course is what put them off their food so to speak.  

This was not airy lacy fat not by a long by a long shot but Chef adamantly defended his choice of cut. It adds more flavor He came out to apologize to the customers and with a split of (cheap you may be sure)champagne they were thrilled at having met the fabled Chef (only well known in various rehabs)

They paid the tab, gave me a nice fat tip  "for getting that scary chef  away from us " we all went to our various  homes.  

Chef  took a breather - several shots of rum  that would render the average drinker  prone - on a bad night he thought he was in Nicaragua where  Rum    is       - the water of Nic

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Remembering with Laughter

Boots gave me my schedule and stations.  The whole lunch room   counter and in the main room 1st booth on the left.  Mrs. Boots had the all of the rest of them. Maybe she appreciated the proximity to the bar. GIVEN WHAT I'D SEEN I believed it.

The counter - lunch was never busy but it does remind as if I needed it how much I hated clean-up night when the catsup bottles were "married" which sounded a great deal more sexy than it was.  Whoever had the duty put one bottle neck - one on top of the other  then the counter tops got a scrubbing that in the future would foreshadow Covid 19 

One lovely summer day, I had a table of five; all males; One in a wheelchair.  Viet Nom I surmised. We  laughed and joked among ourselves.  A fun lunch and then the check came.  Out came the tab and while I'd never had any trouble with non-payers about it  I was a rookie. But none of that at that table! 

I was scanning it to make sure their adding was correct.  Not only wasn't it just fine but they each  had tipped me $20 cash  collectively $100. I reeled in schock as I looked at $100 cash monnney,  I'm would never do so before good sense too k over, I went running past Boots in his doorway screaming to the guys   "You paid too much! Wait! "That's 'way too much, holding out my money-filled palms."  The guys dusted a mist of sweat off of themselved , explained  that   


Monday, April 11, 2022

Inside the (then) Mermaid

 Their proud management loved it that there were three doors in and out.  Few wanted to get in; many more wanted   out everyone except Boots and Mrs. Boots  she who drank Gin &Tonics her whole shift.  By quitte'n time she was fairly well toasted 

The first started at the  counter - scenic views of the kitchen and chef.  Next the only flicker of elegance in the whole place - the dining room with the bar, a horseshoed shaped structure with a bartender right out of Star Wars.  The bathrooms were all the way in the back of the building.

It wasn't until in a ramble around, wondering to see what  shift I'd be assigned  I "discovered" the formal dining room used for catered private parties. The outside catering saved them all from ptomain poisoning.

There real appeal for me was observation of these denizens of their version of  "work"  One slow evening, I got tutored about kitchen fires by the chef  rather vehemently I thought. The thrust of his instructions:  Never use water on a fire.  Use milk instead. with that and  brief finger shake, he slammed down his 4th or 5th shot of straight vodka  and turned back to a smoking hot skillet- you could tell -because sweat was pouring off of him. 

This has been an introduction to the place.  Now what were the people saying and doing?

Saturday, April 9, 2022

She better emerge fast

Billed as the best dive bar in the  South   Bay and is locking up after a 70 year  gig.

It was also my first and last waitress  job.   Hired and fired.

Richie and I had recently been married d I was beginning to learn how to live beach side after having moving down here from Beverly Hills.  You can be poor there.  "90210"  I think. it was.  TV Serial

Now this new  residence  was in a 2-beroom in The Peppertree.  And so were we in one of them

On this midweek stroll down the Strand I passed a window  that roared:  HELP WANTED

The Mermaid  was that window.

There weren't any customers at 2 p.m. only a man sitting on a stool   in the doorway  to the parking lot. with a beer in one hand and a cheap cigar in the other*  He introduced himself  " Boots  "and asked me to return the next day for an interview.

I was happy to agree.  How did I know it was cheap?  The smell, my friends

Richie was home and listened intently as I related my story .

SidebarRichie didn't care if I worked or not., he  warned me  RIGHT AFTER THE VOWS.all I want when I get home is for you to be in a good mood."     Read, file that on e.and of all things ACT NICE 


What to wear to this all-important interview with this Boots character.  I looked at my opened closet door. and mulled the contents.  

If I'd known my work clothes would consist of  white jeans and a white tee-shirt and a yellow  carpenters nailing apron ...

Friday, April 8, 2022


Food for thought without any calories -  Change is inevitable  except f0r a vending machine 

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

And The Mermaid comes Out of the Pacific

 Presumably combing her long blonde hair.  Adventure Awaits

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Damned Computer

 Wrestling with it all afternoon

Saturday, April 2, 2022

fitty cent vs uh dollah

 Today, April 2 was one of the several-times a year -Friend of the Redondo Beach Main Library. Book S

We never miss one.  Why?   The prices!  Paperbacks 50 cents   Hardbacks $1

Everything  else is separately marked.  The savings are incredible. 

50 cents

Lee Child  Killing Floor  (1 of his first) and  Burning Echo

John   Grisham The Testament and  Gray Mountain

Jeffrey Deaver  The Coffin Dancer

Janet Evanovitch  Hard Eight

P.J. O'Rourk e

all the Trouble In the World

Though a soft cover I think it's  $1

$8. total bill  and these are not skinny little pamphlets  easily 500 pages per book


Greg Iles Dead Sleep

Friday, April 1, 2022

When Movie Sets Are Dangererous to Actors

Actors  like John Wilkes Booth who was the actor who was the man - and actor - who shot Abe Lincoln.  He fled, toward Virginia, arriving at a tobacco barn where he died at on April 26 1865.  He was 26.

More recently actor Brandon Lee,28 was shot to death accidentally during the filming of a movie in Wilmington NC

  April 1st 22 was his birthday

Willie Nelson's - slightly altered.  "Mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys'.)be actors (original was 'cowboys.')