Friday, April 10, 2020

The Other Half Plus an Amusement for Lockdown

Within the last two days a series of jokes that are truly hysterical have been floating around in cyberspace.  The previous version was that there would be two groups post-virus -- Half would have become amazing chefs; the other half would develop a drinking problem.  Remember those?  Yeah, me, too.

Today may I offer the arrivals last night:

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune.  Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

Home-schooling is going well  - 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think that anyone expected that when we changed the clocks, that we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. (Would that it did)

Day 5 of Home-schooling - one of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

Classified Ad:  Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

If your own home - lovely as it is - begins to pall, indulge yourself! First create an imaginary Lotto win, then dial up  Today's they're pushing the penthouse of the late Barbara and Frank Sinatra.   Take the online tour.  If you're really in a pissy mood, call the agent listed and bullshit a tour out of him/her.  

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