Flashing Forks

I never cease to muse on America's determination to EAT at every major holiday.

Toast the New Year in with lashings of champagne and caviar.  Bev-Mo used to sell it for as little as $70.oz. found in it's own little locked refrigerator (some as high as $200 per oz.)  They quit carrying it and I quit looking for it there.  The new Gelson's on Sepulveda, Manhattan Beach probably has it.  And closer to the $200 mark and up.

Valentine's Day - take your sweetie out or cook him/her a special dinner at home.

St. Patrick's Day - you're a pinko commie fag if you don't eat at least one corned beef sandwich!

Easter - Bring out the honey-baked ham.  Post Easter, use the leftover eggs for the basis of a dynamite deviled egg sandwich mix.

Mother's Day - if you don't take Mom out to the breakfast buffet, you are automatically written out of the Last Will and Testament.  The Ladies' room attendant told me that the now gone Ports O Call, routinely served 3,000 guests that day.

4th of July - hot dogs and hamburgers all around!  Don't forget the potato salad either.

Halloween candy to Thanksgiving turkey to Christmas which is where we are now.  "Alka-Seltzer anyone?"



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