Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Dear Santa - Skip the Murphys I Know What You're Bringing

Because Richie is Santa around here and I know exactly what I'm getting.  This is why ..

Thirty six years ago, when we were first married, Richie was clearly at a loss as to what to buy me for Christmas.  Picture it ….But I'm forgetting his first Christmas present to me when we were dating.  A bottle of Shalimar perfume (the real deal and not cologne) and a rubber bathmat for the tub.  "Your bathtub floor is slick."  I'd say that was kind of a shared present, wouldn't you?

Two years later, the happy couple is strolling through the women's department at Macy's.  She is looking thoughtfully at such as cashmere sweaters (go big or go home) cool jackets... meanwhile, He is running back and forth from say cocktail dresses and dragging them over to Her who is feeling the cashmere to see if it's thick enough.  He did this several times with the enthusiasm of a hunting dog bringing back a dead bird.  They might be twice my size or a color I hate and never wear but his enthusiasm never lagged.

Discouraged by my "Uh huh" responses, he goes to jewelry where I tell him that I don't need any.

I do find something I like and He says, "Well go look over there (pointing around a corner) there might be something else that you'd like.  I didn't so came back to find Richie putting his credit card away and the navy cashmere sweater I liked peeking out of the tissue in a Macy's bag.

Christmas morning held no surprises, let's just say.  Not in my side of the pulled-off paper anyhow.  I liked the navy sweater - exactly what I wanted - but not being able to use something you got before Christmas Day kind of takes the shine off.

Now years later, he starts asking me (in late August) "What do you want for Christmas this year?"

"I want to replace the toilet in the downstairs bathroom," firmly.

"No! No!  That's not a Christmas present!" he thunders.

"If you get what you want, it is!" I snarled.   Had some discussion on this  - He, "There's nothing wrong with it!"  She counters, "Well yes there is - it's round and the oval upstairs is much more comfortable and takes up less space!"  He, closing the discussion, "It's not a Christmas present."

This morning I remembered something I had wanted last year and that he also refused to buy me.  Target is selling men's cotton (I presume) sport coats with a Christmas theme - a pattern of green trees or red and green lollipops.  Which would look tres chic with jeans and a white sweater.  You can or could rather buy matching trousers which I didn't want anyhow.  I have that outfit in my mind and I know it would be cool for the Thurs. Writers annual seasonal lunch.

This morning he was even more emphatically against the awesome jacket.  "You'll wear it once!  A hundred dollars to wear something once?!"
"No," I could wear it every Christmas!"
"No, think of something else."

So I did.  I want to go to the 99 Cent Store and buy stupid things like reindeer antlers on a headband - last year's was "SELFY" on a headband and at the lunch we passed it around and photographed everyone wearing it.  That was fun.  So I want to go back an see what's on offer this year.  The price is certainly right for Richie … And who knows?  Maybe they're selling crepe paper Christmas sports coats?

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