Friday, February 7, 2020

"How Ya Doin'?" Ask at Your Own Peril!

"What peril in a simple question?" you ask.  Asking an old person or, to be more PC, a senior citizen.  They'll tell you.

As it happens, today is not a good day to ask me.  At least it's typed here and you certainly don't have to read it. (Or any other of these columns.)

My only decision here is whether to start from the head or from the feet up?  Hmmm.  By severity of situation?  None are life threatening (Thank you, God) mere more annoyances than Real Problems.

I have a minor sinus infection; being treated by an  antibiotic and a marvelous drug called Benzonatate which is believed to relax and numb the lungs, allowing them to function better and reduce the amount of coughing needed to get whatever the hell out of your throat.

On the other hand, I'd be remiss in not suggesting you might benefit from buying shares of Kimberly- Clark as you will need to stock up on boxes of Kleenex.  This is the time to use your Costco or Sam's Club cards.  Buy by the case.

Ah, I nearly forgot - speaking of hands I managed to sprain my left thumb.  Happily I have an old carpal tunnel brace and that is working wonderfully to protect it.  I first thought I'd just tape it to the index finger but the brace is easier.

If you have a wax build-up in your ears, my ENT suggested using hydrogen peroxide periodically to melt it. (?)  I use a no-needle syringe.  You can control where it goes.  The ensuing bubbles may remind you of Lawrence Welk's champagne bubbles.    Fun, no?

Lumbar 5 (L5) decided to pay a very unwelcome visit and  about the only thing I can do is two Aleve after breakfast and sit in a position that doesn't hurt.  Support L5!

And finally, I cut a chunk out of the calf of my right leg from the drawer pull to the under bed storage and that gets a dressing change every other day.  Whee!  playing Doctor!  Wash your hands, use a saline liquid to clean up the area, take a throat depressor and smear Mupiricin (the miracle drug for open cuts, scratches, burns) onto the distressed area, and then bandage with a non-stick "gauze" square and then band-aid it to the calf.  Pull up your jeans and caddy on old thing.

Somehow I don't expect any further questions about how I'm doing ...

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