Friday, October 18, 2019

The Favorite Pasttime of Many Americans - Self Absorption!

A new one!  Whee!

I came across this accidentally and it's good for at least an hour or more of self glorification.  And in my case much, much more.  It occurred to me to write something of an autobiography and I couldn't remember where I'd been or whom I'd been doing in great swaths of memory loss.  

Hmmm, who would know? I mused to myself.  I'll tell you who:  our federal government via Social Security payments!   

I went to the closest SS office and asked for and got a printed (in great detail) list of every job I've ever had, the company name, the amount paid me for every year since 1977.  From 1985 to 1977 was a bit of a puzzler - the year is listed, the amount earned  but instead of the corporate name it reads "Earned/no detail available."  

Realistically speaking, I could have been out robbing banks for 19 years and the amount earned was my heists.  I can assure you, I was working honestly because after a great deal of thought I determined that some of it was my  first job in a hotsy-totsy dress shop, age 18; then 19, PayWay Feed Mills - notable because I picked up a stray dog; who bit me which caused my mother to freak out and forced me to get rabies shots every day for 10 days.  I had to go to St. Luke's Hospital ER for said shots.

Interns administered each shot - which if you've never had them, are shot around the navel - left one day, top the next until you're done.  This is memorable to me because the interns loved to tease me by pulling my underpants down further while I frantically tried to pull them back up, providing great fun for all (but one) concerned.    

Naturally in remembering a job, I remembered the people I had worked with and this is where extensive research comes in.  Googling each and everyone of them to see if they are still alive.  In cases where an intimate relationship had taken place, I hope that they are out-of-the country and unlikely to read "Resume" or peacefully dead.  Lawsuits are such a bore. 

Go to your closest Social Security office, wait your turn - they are very well organized and staffed, tell them what you want and while you are paying them - $91 - they are printing out your personal, one nd only, information.  Mine ran to five pages and figuring it out took an afternoon and while I still don't understand RPYR or REO and so forth, clearly I'm legal because they didn't detain me.  Great entertainment!  Highly recommended!   

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