Fearful of being crushed under a load of rage from those who find movie stars innately smarter than the rest of us, here is a list of Republicans in show biz and their ages. The degree of craziness you want to assign to each of them is your bidness:
Dennis Rodman 55
Mike Tyson 50
Arnold Schwarzenegger 69
Bruce Willis 61
Sylvester Stallone 70
Clint Eastwood 86
Jon Voight 78
Wayne Newton 74
James Caan 76
Lindsay Lohan 30
Don King 89
Richard Petty 79
Alice Cooper 68
Corporate Smarts
Kraft Heinz (cheese and ketchup) are promoting the adoption of "Smunday" as a national holiday. "What the hell is 'smunday'?" you ask? It is the renaming of the Monday after Superbowl Sunday which will be devoted to staying home and either continuing the celebration or recovering from the indulgences of the day before.
It is a PAID HOLIDAY. This will, of course, give business owners a frisson of horror, but many people don't show up on the Monday After, in retrospect, what else is new?
This is and it's a brilliant piece of PR. Rather than pay $5 million for a 30-second commercial during the game, the wizards came up with something newsworthy which is FREE - "Gee, I wish I worked for Kraft Heinz" or just a simple, "Lucky bastards - Vera, where's my lunch box?"
In an attempt to legitimize, so to speak, this idea, consumers are asked to sign a petition advocating smunday. If more than 100,000 signatures are collected, then the petition will be presented to whoever it is that decides these weighty matters (Supreme Court? Congress?)
Probable cost: a new Kraft Heinz Website detailing the idea and asking for a signature. BTW signing an online petition is useless because in real life you have to sign (handwrite) and then print your name for it to be legal. Not do-able in cyberspace. Online petitions are used mostly for a how's the wind blowing? check.
Friday, January 27, 2017
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