Sunday, August 24, 2014

Over the Top And Into Battle Fatigue

I'm talking about The Wedding As Decreed By the Misses Post.  Opening the book by chance at "Parties" and being a sociable soul (roaring drunk) began reading.

And wandered away appalled, mentally flexing my biceps to determine strength.  First off is the engagement announcement party which is also the first hit on Daddy's wallet.  Guests, mainly family and old friends, are invited to a social gathering that can run the gamut from a backyard barbecue to a dinner dance at the Club.

Of course, no self-respecting bride would forgo the bridal shower also known as the gathering of the non-essential things we wanted, but were too cheap to pay for them so we thought we'd see if you could be suckered into doing it for us.  If the groom and his buddies are invited this event is then billed as a "Jack and Jill shower."  And so begins the twee...

The bride hosts her bridal party at a luncheon or tea -- and I think the Misses Post got off the trail and wandered back into the '50s.  "Tea" as an event is virtually unheard of in America.  And by the way, Posts - monogramming everything but your underwear is pass√©.  Meanwhile the groom is expected to take his posse out for a manly steak and martini dinner.

The above dinners are no substitute for the bachelor and bachelorette blowouts in Las Vegas scheduled a week before the wedding so that everyone can make a timely recovery.  And there is no such word as "bachelorette."  The word is "spinster" and denotes a woman who has never been married.  Which may be stretching it a little these days...

It is expected that out-of-town guests will be hosted at a dinner while the rehearsal dinner occurs. 

Whew!  the wedding and reception have concluded.  Done deal.  Not so fast there!  Now comes the "after party" just in case you didn't drink enough at the reception and are still standing.  Carry on, mate!  Tomorrow is the post-wedding brunch! 

No comments: