No More Garden Hose Up the Poop Chute!

Ah, most science is truly a blessing to mankind.  I am talking about the home colonoscopy test to explain the rather unusual heading of this piece.

My ob/gyn was looking through my chart and remarked, "Did you know that your last one was in 2004?"

"Er, no …" as I edged closer to the end of the exam table and began to stare steadily at the door...the wheels were beginning to turn - "Escape!  Red Alert!  Run!"

Giving me the eye, laughing, he said, "Good news - "  "My doctor is deranged?" I thought. And edged a little farther down the table toward freedom.

He said, "There is a home kit - non-invasive - it's 93 per cent accurate - and if you'd like, I can arrange for one to be sent to you.   They provide the packing and you sent it back postage pre-paid and that's it.  They send me the results.

"YOU BETCHA!" I replied.

It arrived in yesterday's mail.

 Much, much better, isn't it?  The brand is Cologuard and the results should be sent to my doctor within two weeks.