Friday, May 19, 2017

Spin Your Wheels But Never Move an Inch

Normally this would be a bad thing.  Wasted effort, precious sweat.  In this case it's considered a good thing - the 5th annual Tour De Pier which is five hours on a stationery bike, parked along the Manhattan Beach Pier.  This is to benefit three anti-cancer establishments, the Hirshberg Foundation (pancreatic,) Uncle Kory (brain) and the Cancer Support Community for everyone. 

Imaginative, no?  There will be 350 stationery bikes holding pride of place on the Pier this Sunday, June 21st, first ride starts at 8:30 a.m. until the last ride at 12:30 p.m. 

"Just a bunch of bikes and people?" you say.  No, tots are invited to enjoy the Cardio Kids Zone where they can ride mini-bikes, enjoy a bounce or three in a Moon bounce.  For adults there is a health and fitness fair  and "healthy" foods.  Both of which sound utterly depressing to me.  I'm not desperate enough to want a kale smoothie, thank you, and I already know I'm fat.   

Foaming at the mouth to participate?   Five hours for $750 per 350 bikes.  It is suggested that groups of five "buy a bike" and divide the riding sessions.

This charity do also benefits Uber, Lyft and local cabs because participants are urged to avail themselves of these -  "Drop me off at the corner of ..."   Want to pedal down on a real bike that actually goes somewhere?  There will be a Bike Valet.

All in all it sounds like just  too much excitement as well as utterly depressing to see Young!  Fit! Hot! people in Spandex and yoga pants and miniscule bikinis pedaling dutifully away. 

If I wanted to be depressed, I'd look at my checking account.

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