Monday, December 12, 2016

"Will the groomsmen please go to the Old Laggards Room at your soonest convenience"

"What's this?" you ask?  "Some new Circle of Hell where we are to be tormented further than a tight collar and cummerbund can take us?"

This "man cave" business has been going on since 2011 (earliest recorded history?) and given our social life, I didn't hear about it until yesterday (a mere five years later.) 

From all that I could glean about this curious custom, this is a private, specially-decorated to a man's tastes room or an area - think cowboy bunkhouse or London gentlemen's club -  rigged up to accommodate The Gentlemen Of The Wedding Party where they are separately treated from the lesser males at the wedding to such amusements as:  a whisky tasting; a hired cigar maker to make individual cigar(s) for each gent with a keepsake cigar band, perhaps bearing the bride and groom's initials and the date.  Other genteel amusements might include a billiards table, a dart board or blackjack tables.  Non-sweaty sporting events, if you will.  For younger groomsmen, here are some additional ideas - laser tag or elbow wrestling.

All of the above might ease the discomforts involved in being a groomsman or usher at a posh wedding.  (reference "Four Weddings and a Funeral" with Hugh Grant and Andy McDowell.)

If I were doing it (and you may all be glad I'm not) I would hold off on the whisky tasting until after the ceremony.  Allowing it to proceed just before the ushers start seating and the Best Man starts going through his pockets for the ring might provide more amusement than was planned for the guests who have to sit there and sit there, waiting for the main event to kick off.

"Unfair to bride and bridesmaids!" you bellow?  Tsk, tsk - they have a suite with a three-station hair salon, mani-pedi chairs and all the fun of joyously squealing at everything that moves in the room.  I'd rather be hanging out with the guys.  Even though someone else could have my whiskey and cigar. 

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