Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Lazarus! Is That You?

I have a cousin in  Indiana and he is our guest editor today.  He came back from the dead, just for us.

"This actually happened to me!  Yesterday I had an appointment with my family physician at 4:40 in the afternoon.  When I entered the office, the staff  was extremely courteous and helpful, not completely unusual, but it seemed a bit overdone.

When I finally saw the doctor, he said,  "We  are so glad to see you!  We thought you were dead!"

I was dumbfounded and asked why they thought that?  He then showed me an e-fax on his computer from a hospital in our city.  The fax was advising me that I was pronounced expired at that hospital's ER on 9/26/14 as a result of cardiac arrest, suffered while walking in a park.

All of the information on the form was MY medical info. My doctor said that he had felt devastated when he first read the fax because he had just told me a month ago that I was in "perfect health."  He said he thought, "How am going to explain to his wife that I misdiagnosed her husband's situation?"

The entire staff then expressed their relief at learning that I had not really passed.

I told them that the person who died on 9/26/14 was a cousin of mine and that apparently the hospital got the information crossed up. 

His office was going to try to get it straightened out for me, but he suggested I follow up quickly. 

After telling my wife of this fiasco, we were watching "Jeopardy" when we saw the final category was titled "Faux-bits"  Trebek explained it focused on people whose deaths had been falsely reported.  We laughed uproariously, and the one liners that followed were hilarious.

As it currently stands, hospital records say I am deceased so I must be a zombie.  My first concern is to resurrect my existence so maybe my first appointment should be with Dr. Frankenstein.

As Samuel Clemons said, "The report of my death was an exaggeration."

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