Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Bigamist Marries 8th Tree - HindustanTimes

A Peruvian environmentalist activist named Richard Torres married a 1,000 year old tree in Oaxaca in May, 2016.  The ceremony, according to onlookers, was colorful.  A photo showed a gnarly-looking tree with a bridal veil twisted around it.  Presumably this meant that the tree was, in fact, a virgin.

Torres, also an actor, seems to have forged something of a second career by traveling to various locations and marrying trees.  This was his 8th venture down the aisle with a tree. Or rather, up to a tree.    Previous marriages to trees have been neither annulled nor has any tree divorced him as far as is now known. 

The Comments to this article prove once again the willingness of American citizens to work together in a creative way.  Herewith I give you a sample:

Comment
"We'll call our first child 'Cord.'"

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"Someone remind me why we're fighting the people that want to throw these assholes off of rooftops?"

Comment
"I was in a sexual relationship with a tree ... it was 100% heterosexual, but the tree cheated on me with the gardener."

Comment
"What a birch!"

Comment
"Thank yew." 

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