Sunday, September 18, 2016

So That You Can Laugh (While I Get Put in Jail)

For reasons not explained to the reading public, the Reader's Digest has clearly labeled October "Laugh Month."  Much like putting a slice of birthday cake in front of a glutton, I decided to, uh, help them with their mission - creating laughter.

Olivia Wilde, actress, said, "In a thousand years, archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment."

Robert Benchley, humorist:  "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times before lying down."

Producer Jeff Valdez argues"  "Cats are smarter than dogs.  You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."   

Political writer (and a personal favorite) P.J. O'Rourke covers both sides:  "The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer and remove crab grass on your lawn."

"The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and proves it."

"Brexit" for British exit may have spawned the following ... 
Farewales     credit:

Continuing an unfortunate theme - What if the person who named little radios Walkie Talkies was turned loose on such as ...

Forks:  stabby-grabbies
Socks:  feety-heaties
Defibrillators:  hearty-starties

One Offs
The only pig in the country of Afghanistan is in the Kabul zoo. 
The only ship in the Mongolian Navy is a tugboat. 
The only kosher McDonald's outside of Israel is in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Hold that thought - there's someone at the front door.  For some reason they're yelling, "Cops - open up!"  On a Sunday morning???  I need to investigate this ...

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