Thursday, November 15, 2018

How To Foil a Package Porch Thief

Timely, considering Christmas presents are coming to our front porches soon.

Yesterday, Dave from Silva Construction came over to see what we want done here so as to give us an estimate.  Our business concluded, he left.  An hour later, I noticed his measuring device on top of the dishwasher (with a lot of other crap.)  Knowing the firm has more than one, I didn't worry about it.

He called last night and asked that we leave it on the porch for one of his guys to pick it up today.  "Of course," I said.

This is clearly an expensive item - this tape measure - as it is clearly industrial length.  It may weigh as much as 2 lbs.  Our porch is visible from the street, but only if you're a porch bandit looking.

I wanted to follow instructions (for once) but I worried it might get stolen.  FLASH!  idea!  (A rare and wonderous thing for this writer) so I took a sheet of typing paper, switched over to Word, chose RED INK and typed:


Richie came in from his morning walk, noticed my bomb outside the man door to the garage and came into the house yelling, "Call the police!"  I said, "It's okay, Blondie.  Calm yourself."

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