Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Yelling Season

This is a quadrennial event and has nothing to do with global warming, el ninos or anything else climate-related.

I am referring instead to the every-four-years race for the White House. 

The season starts softly enough with the various candidates putting themselves forward with gravitas and discreet pleas for support.  As the season moves on, those voices become louder.  In some cases they border on the strident.  This part reminds me of a symphony movement, now that I think about it..  A soft start, building to a roaring conclusion.  This is nice in a concert hall with gifted musicians.  Unfortunately the current politicians are all tone deaf yet they persist in performing. 

Now only two months and change from the Actual Vote, the pols have let their foot slip off of the pianissimo peddle and dragged in the kettle drums with an intermittent clash! of the cymbals. 

The two leading candidates who shall remain nameless because they are interchangeable in style, have now resorted to YELLING! every single word out of their mouths.  This is vastly annoying to me as it is a really bad idea to yell at me to do absolutely anything at all that I want no part of - such as housework.    Being yelled at does not warm my heart nor enthuse me into any action at all other than fleeing the morning radio news.  I simply stalk down the hall to the bathroom and shut the door.  That gives me a wall, 3 ft. of hall floor and a closed bathroom door which, while helpful, doesn't entirely mitigate the noise.

Candidates, that black stick in front of you with a cobra head is a "microphone."  It is designed to project your voice to the back row of any room so that you don't have to.  With this device (available at for $25) you can give your tortured vocal cords a well-deserved rest.  (To say nothing of listeners ears.)

Think of the future!  What if you had laryngitis on January 20th and couldn't be sworn in?  It may not be a valid swearing in if you have to nod your head and write out the words.  And think of the shame if your spouse has to read your inauguration address?  Do you really want that to happen?

Put it in "mute," okay?

On second thought, my opening about how the yelling season has nothing to do with global warming?  I changed my mind.  All of the hot air coming out of the candidates may well be effecting global warming....God knows there's plenty of it.

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