Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Obituaries at Random

Based on the number of Websites on this subject, I am not alone in my interest in how obituaries are written and what they emphasis and the give-aways about the individual readily apparent to the reader.

Religious people:  Jack Spratt went to the Lord's house (date)  Mrs. Jack Spratt went to meet Jesus/Jesus arms  (date, etc.)

Suicide alert:  So-and-so died suddenly.  I find this ominous indeed, as in you are minding your business and Boom!  You're dead.  Even if you were planning to go to Jesus, you weren't given time to pack.

I thought we were being a little daring when my Fa-in-Law died and we wrote "In lieu of flowers, donations to the Halsite Fire Department paramedics would be appreciated."  Instead, I read today you can leave instructions!  For example, "In lieu of flowers, tune up your car and check the air pressure in your tires.  He would have wanted that."  All of which begs the question, was he a retired mechanic (he was in his 80s) or killed in a freeway crash?  Unsatisfactory.

And then there is thrifty to the end and beyond - A request for any interested party to ask the cremation firm for a refund because he knew he weighed at least 20 per cent less than when he paid for cremation."

This is one way to insure that everyone has a rollicking good time at your funeral "No mourners dressed in black will be admitted to this funeral."  The People of Walmart are going to make for an interesting audience.

For further amusement, I recommend Googling "funny obituaries."  You will be entertained for an entire morning (which is when I should have been doing housework, but didn't.  It's not going anywhere.)  

Todays Daily Breeze

Darlene File went to be with her Lord and Savior on June 23, 2018"

Our patriarch, Daniel Miranda, age 95, was called to his heavenly home on May 30, 3018.   This should make us all uneasy if the phone rings and there's no one there.  Start being cautious when you turn 90 would be my advice...

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