Some Jokes That Were Hits in the late '20s and early '30s

Richie has been excavating in the storage room.  Periodically he brings me little treasures he has found.  The most recent is a thick book entitled "A Treasure of Laughter."  Note the choice of language throughout.  People spoke more clearly and politely back in the day and there are NO vulgarities in the entire book. 

Two men, just released from the lunatic asylum (ahem, see above) meet on the street.
First man:  "Bet you can't guess what I've got in my hand."
Second Man:  "A battleship?"
The first looks in his closed hand a minute and says, "Nope."
"An automobile?"
Looks again.  "No, try once more."
Second man shouts, "A horse!"
"Darn it! But wait, what color?"
Second man says, "Green."
First man says, "Ah hah!  You peeked!"

Two morons had  remarkably good luck on a fishing expedition.  Toward the end of the day, one of them said, "This is a good spot.  I wish we had some way of finding it tomorrow."
"Why don't you put a mark on the boat?" the other said.
"That sounds reasonable, but how do you know we'll get the same boat?"

Two good friends, Father Kelly and Rabbi Levy, sat opposite each other at a banquet where a ham was being served.  Father Kelly helps himself liberally, and turns to his friend and says, "When are you going to become liberal enough to eat ham, Rabbi Levi?"
Rabbi Levi said, "At your wedding."

A Virginian was boasting and said, "One of my ancestors signed the Declaration of Independence."
"Indeed," replied the Jew.  "One of mine signed the Ten Commandments."