Monday, February 29, 2016

The Oscars - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

I settled in to watch with much less than my usual enthusiasm.  La! I miss the days when actors would come reeling out of the wings, slurring their words and looking lost ... the ones that ran out on the stage, manic in their glee, brushing ineffectively at the dusting of white powder around their noses... ah, bygone glory ...

But we must all move with the times.  I thought MC Chris Rock was largely funny and I can tell you, I much appreciate humor as opposed to bitter sulks re this race matter.  Richie pointed out to the Daily Breeze this morning that the only color Hollywood recognizes is green.

The items that made me wrinkle my brow ...

Given what was shown from The Revenent, I thought the bear should at least get a mention.  Leonard could have ridden up to the stage on his back or something...

Oscar winner (female) Brie Larson.  What the hell were her parents thinking?   "Brie" is a French cheese.  Should we be calling her French Cheese Larson?  It's way too late now, but "Bree" is more the accepted way to spell it.  I mention this in case anyone out there is pregnant and considering names.  It should work equally well for male babies. 

Clearly he named himself, but the singer (?) entitled "The Weekend" amused me for quite some time speculating on exactly which kind of animal had crawled up and died on his head.  Possums are largely hairless... it wasn't the right body configuration for a squirrel ... raccoon?  Coati mundi?  I'll have to have my people call his and ask. 

What the women were wearing was also always a matter of great hilarity to me and my posse back in the day when we'd all watch together.  This year I was stunned by a woman wearing a long, strapless, black dress made out of ?  Pleather?  Nope, too shiny.  Rubber?  No 'cause I don't think you could find rubber that shiny.  I finally decided it must be black patent leather.  Then my thoughts turned to why?  Golden Shower damage control?  Rubber fetishist?  Since I can't remember her name (and wasn't trying to either) I may never know.  If you are a fashionista and do know what that stuff was, please write. 

I am still confused as to why Joe Biden made an appearance asking us to pledge something or other.  "Pledge" goes back to the days of Prohibition when the public was asked to "take the pledge" and renounce alcohol.  Any college woman would tell you that "pledge" means to join a sorority in the event you are asked.  So Biden was asking us all to pledge Kappa Alpha and quit drinking? 

"Uncle Joe" as he is sometimes called has earned something of a reputation for being either uncensored or off the wall in many of his remarks.  Still, I think asking us to pledge a sorority and quit drinking on international television is a  step too far.

I did (mostly) enjoy this year's presentation.  The "thank you O grateful Academy members, my parents, my kids" speeches went on far too long in most cases, but they gave me a chance to get up, refill my champagne flute and sit back down.  Here's to you Joe!  Good luck on The Pledge!

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