Friday, April 4, 2014

Astrological Signs With An Edge

Richie has been digging around again.  Today's fragment is a piece I wrote for National Dragster in 1991.  Since Aries, Taurus, Cancer are all among the missing I'll start with -

Virgo the Virgin  August 24th to September 23rd
Lonely and ignored because they are so picky and precise, if given the opportunity, the Virgo will talk the hind leg off of a donkey which is perhaps the only thing that will stand still and listen to their endless carping about others, the state of their own health (near death at all times) and a lit of their medicine chest items. 

Uncomfortable in crowds due to their hypochondriac belief that a germ is just about to land at any time, they love to criticize others, but hate being criticized themselves. 

Virgos are good for something, however, if you can shut them up.  They love doing detail work all by themselves with no assistance.  Free to take endless time over nitpicking details, the Virgo happily works on and on and on. 

Virgo examples are Lyndon Johnson (remember his gallbladder scar) and Greta Garbo.

Libra, the Scales  September 24 to October 23rd

Naïve, gullible and chatty, the Libra balances being warm, friendly and open with cold, quarrelsome and a closed mind.  They love to play peace maker in an argument and then start it up taking the other side.

Alternating periods of intense activity (in bars and bordellos) the Libra then collapses and would not move a muscle if set on fire.  Briefly, they will pursue anything that looks easy.  Unable to be decisive they often can't decide which side of the truck to get into and thus lose major time on the start line.

Their favorite remark is "On the other hand..."

Libra examples are Brigitte Bardot and Oscar Wilde

You know what your sign is; don't sit back and laugh at others because your turn  will come - unless you're an Aries, Taurus, Gemini or Cancer.  You lucked out.

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