Tuesday, April 15, 2014

"A Taste of Something Special!"

The heading is the title of a cook book issued by American Airlines in 1993.  American's slogan is "Something special in the air" and I think they expected us to recognize the tie-in and go "Ohhhh - how precious!"  (I didn't, but feel free...)

It's propaganda but politically correct, published on recycled paper.  A thin strip of copy divides every page in it luring us with blandishments like, "Our American Flagship Service (translation: the meal service for the big spenders in 1st and Business) seems to shorten the distance between East and West coasts."

The not-so-opaque message is:  "Come aboard!  Get blasted on our wonderful selections of wines and hard stuff and let us cram some lobster down your throat while we cruise at 36,000 feet!"

To which I would add a big snort of disbelief.  While it's true the flight attendants  are more than willing to cheerfully over serve you in the liquids department, it's only because they want you to be a quiet drunk and go to sleep and stop bothering them. 

And speaking of lobster force feeding ... while they list Lobster and Corn Chowder and Lobster Fajitas, the only lobster I've ever seen aboard an airplane was on Air France, Los Angeles to Paris..

American touts it's Cream of Yuca Soup which is fine for them, but what is a yucca and do I want one in my mouth?  Wouldn't it be prickly?

Steak Louisiana (which uses Paul Prudhomme's Blackened Steak Magic which is certainly not "chef-y" and involves uncapping a spice jar and sprinkling) or Peanut-Crusted Chicken with Roasted Banana Honey Sauce ... of course, today you won't find a single peanut anywhere a plane.  I wonder if a gluten ban will be next?

But they've kept the traditional American Airlines dessert which is a great ball of Haagen-Dazs ice cream with your choice of sauces - strawberry or butterscotch or chocolate..  My choice is a shot of Amaretto or Kahlua instead.  (shrug) Any sacrifice to make the F/As happy ...

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