After last night's Oscars, it's clear that you are desperately needed! What'll it take to get you back where you belong - front and center on the Oscars' presentation stage?
Last night's version of the Oscars was awkward, dismal, amateurish and very definitely not amusing in any way. The entire show - host and participants - had the feeling of this well-known scenario:
"Hey! I know what! Let's put on a play!"
"Yeah - I'll ask my Dad if we can use our barn!"
It was so bad that I found myself yawning uncontrollably at 7:30 p.m.
The two wittiest emcees ever were the late David Niven (1910 - 1983), who famously said of the streaker that ran across the stage during the 1974 broadcast, "Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?"
The other biting wit is Billy Crystal, who has delighted us during nine Oscar productions. He's quick, he clearly does his homework and he is, as a result, outrageously funny. I also liked the rude Brit guy; naturally, I can't remember his name. A British accent can do a great deal to pep up even the most tired of jokes.
On the other hand, next year it could be a woman - Michelle Obama - as hostess. It was a surprise to see her handing out the "Best Film" award from the White House. I'm not used to a wannabe rock star as First Lady of the United States.
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