Friday, February 17, 2012

People Are Strange...

Which is probably not exactly unknown by you. But even though I seem to have a talent for drawing the one nutter in a crowd of 500 directly to my side, I can still be surprised.

This happened Wednesday morning in the ladies locker room at the gym. I'd finished doing my stuff and was getting my purse out of the locker, when a small woman -- possibly came up to my elbow -- approached me and said, "Excuse me, can I ask you something?" I glanced to reassure myself she wasn't armed and said, "Probably."

She said, "Do you think I look fat?" so I looked her up and down, having been given tacit permission to do this by her question and said, "No. You've got flat abs -- something we're all working on and your arms look normal -- you know how some women's arms look like sticks? Yours don't."

She said in serious tones, "Thank you" and walked away. Mentally I shrugged, picked up my purse and sped to Richie's side as he pumped away on the stationery bike. I relayed all of the above and just then she walked out of the locker room door to walk right past us.

"Look! That's her!" I whispered to him, "Does she look fat to you?" "No," he replied. I quickly scampered up behind her, got her attention, pointed at Richie and said, "That's my husband - I asked him and he said, 'No.'"

She looked at him, waved, said "Thank you" again and walked away. She never did smiled.

Thursday morning, ladies locker room, gym. I'd finished my stuff and entered the locker room to wash my hands, collect my stuff and leave.

The locker room is laid out so that no one can see in from the gym and, to a degree, so is the entry to the wash basins and the shower room. Thus you come around a blind corner to whoever is in those rooms.

I wheeled around this blind entraqnce and came upon this: a stark naked woman, leaning forward, examining her face in the mirror above the basins. "Stark naked" is sometimes found in here, but this was the first time I'd ever seen someone who's entire body was Creamsicle Orange! My first glance told me she was starkers, so I dropped my eyes to the ground. Her feet, including between the toes! was this same, strange dark orange! She looked like she'd been dunked in a vat of dark orange! The only telltale clue that it was a spray tan was a smudge across her ribs on the right side.

This Friday morning, I felt some trepidition on entring the locker room. Things are said to come in threes, right? But absolutely nothing untoward occurred at all. Now I don't have to worry until Monday.

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