Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Putting Trader Joe Out of Business

A lofty goal to be sure. In Richie's excavations, he came across a cookbook that is entirely made up of recipes for appetizers. I read cookbooks as avidly as I do books with psycho murderers, so naturally I dropped everything else to take a look. (One reason this house looks the way it does.)

Imagine my delight at discovering super markets sell frozen puff pastry dough! As I have an aversion to baking because I can't stand flour on my hands, this is welcome news. Biscuits come in a can, ready to be shaped and piled high with tasty goods. Tortillas are used as wraps. Cut an English muffin in half, toast it and add tomato sauce, cheese, seasonings and you've got a mini-pizza. All kinds of raw materials there, just begging to be covered in something.

How hard could this be? Cur beef or chicken in long strips and skewer them (soak the skewers first so that they don't catch fire) flavor them and cook them in the convection toaster oven.

Or this

2 cups grated Cheddar cheese (buy a bag of already shredded)
1 14 1/2 oz. can of deviled ham spread
1/3 cup mayonnaise (this seems rather a lot as the ham is very fatty)
2 teas. Dijon mustard
1 teas. horseradish
Beat it all up together, put it in a crock and spread over slides of rye bread. You can eat it cold with crackers or put them on the bread and pop them under the broiler for a second.

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