Saturday, January 5, 2019

Changing the Tedious to the Marvelous - Notes From a Spoiled Bitch

Admittedly it took me awhile to come up with this reward for nothing at all except the ability to sit patiently, for undetermined periods of time.

Because we're good friends and  because I want the best for any stray readers who may wander past, I will tell you what it is and how it works.

Given the premise that few of us enjoy sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called; listlessly reading old magazines at the dentist's, sitting still for a hair cut and other time wasters (after all we do have better things to do) I came up with this.

I make all appointments with the above around either a meal or the cocktail hour.  Remembering always that it is 5 p.m. somewhere.

Examples:  the orthopod is over by Torrance airport.  The venue was TGIFridays until recently when they abruptly closed.  Reasons unknown.  No worries, on the way home we pass Lucille's Barbecue on Hawthorne with  huge portions and the 'que ain't bad.  Nor was the Bloody Mary I had or, apparently, the Stella Richie had.

Haircuts:  Dale Snowburger, Tonsorial Parlor, El Segundo, has been trying to make us look reasonably attractive for 30+ years.   We rarely go further north of here than El Segundo.  Former restaurants have included Main Street CafĂ© (and yesterday it was for sale - do you sense a trend here?)  Britt's barbecue has wonderful Tater-Tots with their excellent pulled pork; in nice weather the patio at Rock'n Brew is quite nice.  We've often gone straight from Dale to the Oldtown Patio for a hydration session with a huge patio out back and reasonable prices.  This would be after an afternoon appointment.  They do very good sliders, too.

Ob/gyn is right in the heart of a cluster of restaurants across Torrance Boulevard from his office.  We only tried SouPlantation once, not that good frankly, but we often have gone to Elephant Bar.  I like their garlicy noodles.

The dentist:  I had to have a deep clean with tons of Novocain or whatever drug is being used today and it was so pervasive in my mouth that I asked for the cotton log that lies between teeth and cheek to keep from biting myself.  We immediately repaired a bar on Hermosa Avenue in Hermosa Beach.  Ice cold beer is wonderful for gum swellings.  I was muttering and lisping all the way from dentist to bar, but after two drafts, I was speaking normally.  Double benefit - medical treatment and relaxation of stress.

Post fasting blood test:  this is one that you want to be at the lab when the doors open; usually 7 or 8 a.m.  it only takes minutes - swipe, plink, extract, band-aid and out the door you go - straight to Eat at Joe's in my case … "Yes, I'd like a smallish cheese omelet, burn the hash browns, a side of brown gravy and flour tortillas.  Where's the syrup dispenser of salsa?"  By the time I'm on the outside of all of that, I am almost (almost) looking forward to the next test. Richie loves their John Wayne Special (actually ordered by him when he had his boat the Wild Goose in the RB Harbor) and is happy to go even if he didn't have a fasting blood test.

So:  plan your appointments carefully.  You'll benefit from more than whatever medical treatment you are seeking.  I see the orthopod  at his satellite office Monday at 1:45.  it's in an industrial/office building cluster in El Segundo.   Too late for lunch, 3 p.m. or so, is not too early to have a beer at Oldtown Patio - we practically pass it on the way home.  Certain traditions must be honored.

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