Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Watch It, Royals

I pride myself on being a fair person no matter what some (many)  might feel about me.  Much like a rattlesnake, I make noise before I strike.  Fair warning that some major shit is about to come down by either one of us.

Even so, my famed calm demeanor holds a boiling cauldron ready for use and I am about to have to dump it on the British Royals.  I have been patient for some 37 years but even my legendary patience is being tried. 

Naturally you want to know, "What in hell is she carrying on about now?"  I will tell you.

November, 1948 - birth of my younger (and only) sister and Prince Charles.  Naturally our family thought that, of course, they were fated to be together.  Hah!  Charles slithered away and married Ditsy Diana.  And then the traitor finalized his relationship with Camilla.  But, what ho?  My sister wisely married another and they had three kids - two boys and a girl.  Take that, Diana.

But Diana had given birth to William in 1982 and Harry in 1984.  My niece Leslie was born in 1981.  Yes, she would be a year or three years older, a mere bagatelle in today's world. 

And then perfidious William did a runner with Kate.  Now Henry has announced not only his engagement to a California-born woman, but announced the date - sometime in May. 

I have one last hope before it all starts to go south, or "pear-shaped" as the Brits say.  My nephew just married and if they have children, at least one of them could be matched up with Prince George or Princess Charlotte, spawn of William and Kate.  And reportedly, there are two more on their way as Kate is expected to deliver twins in April, 2018.  We can still win this war.  I would hate to have to beat the shit out of the Queen.  At 90-something, she is far too frail for a fight.  Especially with me.

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