Wednesday, November 8, 2017

In An Effort To Promote Racial Congeniality ...

Yesterday I was reminded of the old "Playing the Dozens" contests among blacks and wondered if whites played a version of The Dozens.  I didn't think so - it is such a well-established black thing that I figured if any white tried it, they would be loudly and forcefully accused of racial diversity theft. 

I was to be happily surprised.  ( Apparently whites do it, too, although I have never personally been around when one did.  My loss.  But in all truthfulness, blacks have much funnier lines.  Herewith a sample of both:  you be the judge -

You Mamma So Black -
I shot her and the bullets came back with little flashlights saying, "We can't find the bitch!" (That's imaginative!)

She could show up naked to a funeral.  A reference to wearing black to funerals.

She had to get white chalk tattoos...

When God made her, He said, "Damn! I burnt me one."

You Mamma So White -
She make vanilla ice cream say, "Daayum!"

During winter she's invisible.

She so old and racist that she keeps asking you to track down her runaway slaves.

She thought Malcom X was a porno.

I don't think any one would play the dozens if they knew this historical fact:  playing the dozens goes back to those sweet old days of slavery when blacks on the auction block would get into it with one another which their owners considered property crime and punished the offenders accordingly.  Playing the Dozens came about as a substitute for physical combat and to win, the contestant had to be the wittiest and the most outrageous.  As the game went on, contestants were forced to drop out. 

As a side bar, the old slaves, well past their prime, were sold by the dozen.

But:  if we all could stay farther than Mamma's arm length, we could have a good time.  It just requires an indifference to skin color. 

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