Safety in the Cemetery

"What could possibly hurt you in a cemetery?" you ask.  "They're all dead!"

They are.  But the roving gangs of thugs that lurk in Pere Lachaise, Paris, and Cemetery #1, New Orleans, ate very much alive and worse still, on the prowl.  It is best to join a tour guide-led group even if it costs a penny or two.   The old "safety in numbers."

But in an effort to discover burial grounds where you must exercise caution, I found a site called   cemeterytravel.com.

The author must be visiting a lot of rural (to say the least) cemeteries.  The list would be helpful if you are planning to visit great-grandmother's grave, deep in the country.

First, ask the locals what's likely to be a problem.  Such as wild boars or the gentle Disneyland deer which is anything but.  Deer are very large, very timid and if you are between them and an exit, they will attempt to go right through you.  Look around you and be alert. 

Carry a walking stick or cane to thresh your way through tall grass that could harbor a local snake. 

Sprinkle ground cinnamon on your shoes to thwart ants.  If ground cinnamon is so effective, how come I have only heard about flour or chalk?  

Carry a first aid kit for chigger bites, mosquitos, and other flying insects plus the usual items for an outdoor excursion. 

Bring a couple of bottles of water. Cemetery taps (for flowers)  may well be grey water. 

Very often, there is no cellular service in rural cemeteries.  Who're the residents gonna call anyhow?  Don't rely on your cell phone, but do make sure that someone who's staying at home knows where you went and when you could reasonably be expected to emerge. 

The author recommends buying a RoadID for the paramedics that may have to attend you.  It lists your contact numbers and medications.  This bears looking into for anywhere you go.  A passport does not carry a list of people; only one as a contact.  There's no space for a list of meds unless you create one by typing it out and taping the list inside the first Visa page. 

This column was prompted by the fact that our French class will be attending a lecture on Pere Lachaise November 11th and today is the last day of two for Dia de los Muertos.  Yeah, a day late and a dollar short...