Filing To Do

Which I am.  The office is getting a new piece of furniture - some would call it a "wardrobe", others an "armoire."  Whatever you call it, the office needs to make room for it.  I hate to file and never was it more evident than when I have to do it.  Am finding stuff I wrote back in 1983!  The rejection letters?  Apparently I was saving them to wallpaper a bathroom.  And I could except the paper is all crumbly and couldn't take the paste - it would dissolve. 

Never mind all of that - clearly one reaps what one has sown - or never filed. 

NATIONAL SANDWICH DAY
It was last week, I think.  It didn't register with me because I eat a sandwich for lunch nearly every day (chipotle chicken with a strip of pre-cooked bacon on white with mayo.)  Thus familiarity with our friend the sandwich rendered me insensate to the importance (if any) of the day.  

First of all Dagwood Bumstead's creator Chic Young did not invent the sandwich for Dagwood Bumstead.  Or anyone else.

Who did was a dude called the Earl of Sandwich.  I was going to write a nice little History of the Earl of Sandwich, but my source, Wikipedia.com, apparently felt moved to print the entire genealogic line!  There were Earls of Sandwich falling out of the trees!  'Way to lazy to put up with that, so just know that An Earl of Sandwich made the first one.  Or rather, given the Earl thing, he directed one of the cooks to make it to his directions. 

CHEAP TATTOOS - BUT YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR
And permanency is not one of the things you get.  Tattoo Socks (more aptly named "Tattoo Pantyhose")  are sold on something called Etsy.com.

They are pantyhose with an imprinted design running up the leg to thigh land.   There are a variety of images from which to choose - a trellis with roses, various flowers, spider webs, etc.  They are $29 a pair which is considerably more expensive that, say, a pair of L'eggs.

In fact, buy a pair of L'eggs, spread them out and, using magic markers, draw your own design.  That way if you get a run in them, so what?  They didn't cost $29! 

And - capper - you didn't have the expense, pain or time spent on a genuine inked tattoo.  With do-it-yourself, you can change your look as often as - well,  you change your socks!   

NOVELTY SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS

Some degenerate created spaghetti inside the meatball.  Here is how it goes according to the how-to photos:  Make the raw meatballs in your own inimitable style.  Take the meat and pat it into a bowl, making a meat shell.  Put cooked sauced spaghetti into the raw shell.  Make a flat "lid" of the raw hamburger, and invert the whole mess on a baking sheet.  Bake at - what?  400? until the meat is cooked and serve.  The squeals of delight (or horror, take your pick) when this baby is put on the table and the first cut made will be a certainty.