Saturday, November 12, 2016

Border Crossing

As usual in a Presidential election, a number of notables have threatened to leave America and go live somewhere else.  This year, the destination list had a few surprises (for me) with sites such as Spain and New Zealand.  Frankly, I think the planet idea is, um, doomed, but carry on!  Nothing against Spain or NZ!  For a full list of potential border crossers, please see "Hanging Chads" the 11/7/16 column. 

Meanwhile in an effort to be as helpful as possible to all, I looked up how to behave in Canada which was the most-mentioned sanctuary.  The first thing I learned is that Canadians are very very polite.  Accidentally step on another's foot?  Apologize endlessly.  Moreover the stepped upon will apologize to the stepper for being in the way!  This can eat up a good portion of time.  Plan appointments with it in mind.

Canada already has a number of born-there dignitaries; a partial list includes William Shatner (except I think he's dead now,) Keaunu Reeves, Ryan Goslin, Jim Carrey, Pamela Anderson and Alex Trebek. 

However Canada has generously said that we should feel free to keep Justin Bieber and Celine Dion.

Not surprisingly in a nation that apologizes profusely, a gentle handshake - palm to palm, no squeeze - is suggested when meeting First Nations (Indians?) as squeezing is considered aggressive.  And since I don't even know whether or not, they are Indians or Native Canadians or hot-tempered, prudence is advised. 

"Grab and go" as in something to eat and then "eaten on the hoof" while walking are very definitely considered bad manners.  Take the time, go to a restaurant and sit down.  Their streets are not grazing pastures.  Although probably the worst that can happen to you (given their extraordinary good manners) would be a withering glare and a pointed look at your food item.  If said Canadian is really in a bad mood, you may also be on the receiving end of a loud sniff.

Happily, they will not grab your lunch and throw it in the gutter.  Any action as aggressive as that would probably kill them.  Apologize, if this happens to you, and post-lunch, make a real point of neatly bagging up your detritus and putting it in the trash.  No worries, émigrés!  You'll get along fine in Canada!

No comments: