Miz Fix-It Is In

I don't want to break my elbow patting myself on the back, BUT:  I have had a sensational idea that will end all of this fussing back and forth between American citizens and illegal aliens.  The simple brilliance of this idea stuns even me, who had it.

But, no!  you cry.  How can this be?

I propose that the United States buy Mexico.  If we did that there would be no border and everyone could just stay where they are and not have to pack up and move, take the kids out of school and so forth.

Mexico should go for it; they don't have any money which is the reason so many of them come here.

If this proves to be un-doable (I sense that Cancun would be reluctant) how about we offer to rent a 200 mile strip into Mexico?  It's not "getting rid of the border" but it damned well would make it more difficult and time-consuming to enter the U.S.

Genius, right?  (Hold your applause)

Now onto other, smaller matters.

"Relish" magazine encourages us to cut deviled eggs in half horizontally and then packing them in "a clean egg carton."  I have never seen a clean egg carton; they are always made of grey, rough-textured cardboard which would be impossible to wash as one would a dish.  Don't do it.  

The dinner fork is apparently handier than a pocket in a shirt.  In addition to cleaning shrimp, you can now slip the tines carefully into a taco shell which will hold the shell steady while you use both hands to fill it.  

Did you know?  A strawberry huller can remove the "eyes" from a fresh pineapple?  

I hate using fresh cilantro because the recipe always says "discard the stems" and I don't have the patience to stand there and strip the leaves off of the stems.  This suggested method isn't much better, but at least it's a novelty.  Take your colander, insert the stems in the holes and then cut them off and you'll have a colander full of cilantro leaves.