As Promised! Vacuums and Missions Impossible

Both of these recipes call for margarine which I haven't thought about since 1945 when "margarine" was a plastic bag of white fat with an orange dot included for coloring. My job was to squish all of this together until the yellow color was uniform.

VACUUM CLEANER COOKIE BARS
(Ever wondered why cookie, singular, is not "cooky"?)
1/2 cup margarine - do not use butter - melted
1 18.25-oz. box of yellow cake mix - don't get the kind with pudding in the batter.
3 eggs
1 8-oz. package cream cheese, softened
1 1-lb. box powdered sugar
1/2 cup flaked coconut
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped (the only relatively-healthy thing in the whole mixture)

Set oven at 325 Cream together the melted margarine, the cake mix and one egg. Put this mixture in the bottom of a well-greased 9x13 in. pan.
Beat the two eggs slightly and blend in the cream cheese and powdered sugar. Stir in the coconut and walnuts and pour over the rest in the pan. Smooth it out evenly. Bake for 45-50 minutes until it's a golden brown. Cool to room temperature before cutting into bars. Source: Rhonda Nelson, Warren High School, Downey, Calif.

I don't like pie crust; it seems unnecessary to me - just added calories. This recipe is said to make it's own crust so it's worth a look to me.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE PIE
4 eggs
1/2 cup margarine, melted
1 3/4 cups of sugar
1/2 cup self-rising flour (whatever that is)
2 cups of milk
1/2 cup coconut - what is this? National Coconut Day?

Beat the eggs together, add the margarine, sugar, flour and milk. Continue beating until it's all well-mixed. Stir in the coconut and pour it all into two UN-greased 8 in. pans and bake at 350 for 35 to 40 minutes. Source: Linda Heinbach, Yosemite High School, Oakhurst, CA