An Exchange Overheard at Cafe Too Trendy For The Likes of You!

The March issue of Bon Appetit turned it's attentions to Sandwiches this issue.  From A to Z should you like audacity.  Just after I read it, I happened upon this enlightening scene... I was standing outside the railing of the restaurants sidewalk tables and chairs - waiting for a friend.  I had read the menu posted on the entrance.  Meh unless you haven't gotten the word that kale and quinoa are so last year.  With any luck gluten-free will soon be joining them.  When a bottle of vitamin C's label boasts in big letters: Gluten Free! things have gone rather Too Far.  But that's a rant for another time and place.  Remind me.

Said menu offered a sandwich section and the patron at a table to my left said to the server, "O, hold the mayo, hon; I brought my own."  She raised an eyebrow and said, "Better than our Salsa Combo with garlic, cilantro, lime and mayo?"

He smiled deprecatingly (poor thing - she just doesn't know) and then she said, rather patronizingly, "Haven't you ever had our Buffalo Wings mayo?  Cholulu hot sauce -you know,  the wooden ball lid - with crumbled Maytag Blue cheese and mayo?"

He replied, slick as calf slobber on a doorknob, "I was going to bring my garlic, capers and lemon juice mayo, but at the last moment I decided against a tuna salad sandwich."

She interrupted rather icily (maybe her feet hurt?) "We use Green Goddess dressing with our tuna sandwiches."

Sensing that she was less than pleased with him, he said, "Oh - but I must have some of your pickled red onions and pickled radish slices and pickled carrots on my banh mi - (ingratiatingly) they are so good!  Just that right crunch! pop! of flavor!"

Giving him her patented "Yeah, right" face (US Patent Office #58495782) she whirled away to the cashiers desk and came back with a sheet of paper.  "Here's the recipe, sir - you can do some pickling the next time you make your own mayo!" rather snottily even for a waitress with hurting feet.   And flounced away. 

He feared he would have no sandwich at the Café Too Trendy For The Likes of You that day ...

PICKLING MIX FOR VEGETABLES
1/2 cup unseasoned rice vinegar
1 T sugar
2 teas. kosher salt - I'd use sea salt myself and by no means NOT 2 teas.
1 cup sliced vegetables - red onion, or thin radish slices, cucumber - another reason to cut back on the salt - too much will melt the cucumber slices.