#FREE RUDOLPH!

As I am unfamiliar with "hash tags" ignore the one above.  The point I want to make is that there were 228,000 new jobs in the month of November, 2017, alone.  None of the applicants wanted to replace Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.  

Now Rudolph is 78 years old (!) and Santa Legree still expects him to haul the sled full of presents (to say nothing of Santa himself who clearly hasn't missed any meals) as well as drag any work-shy reindeer along behind him.

This is hardly work for a 78 year old.  Rudolph should have been allowed to retire 16 years ago!  But, no, Santa "depends" on him and Rudolph, not being any smarter than he needs to be, buys it every year.

He's led an active, athletic life, but:  it's also true that he only has to be a jock once a year.  Arguably, few of us have 364 days off.

I propose this - instead of cookies and milk (or Scotch and cashews in the more affluent households) -  that we all put up a sign instead that reads "Let Rudolph Retire!"

You may be worried that  if Santa (the red fatso) doesn't get his treats, he will be very cross with you and, in a fit of pique, could just say to himself, "No presents for these people!"

But:  Mrs. Clause put a lot of time and effort into getting you just what you wanted and she can be quite shrewish from the sheer fatigue of satisfying everyone.  She is not going to go for this At All.

Pithy comments about fat husbands who most certainly do not need additional food supplements are bound to fly until at least mid-January and because Santa is secretly afraid of her, he wouldn't dare bring back a sack of undelivered stuff.  "Nobody home" is not going to fly as an excuse at all. 

Thus, no worries; you'll get all you ordered.  But don't forget to eat/drink the treats yourself while you make a big sign that reads "FREE RUDOLPH!" (Santa doesn't know what a hash tag is either.  Just leave it off.)