Tuesday, December 26, 2017

And a Partridge In a Pear Tree

Richie's cousin, John McG, has a puckish sense of humor.  Every year he delights us with his wit.  Doubles, you might say, because he celebrates Halloween - his favorite holiday of the year - and Christmas and always remembers us.

I am thinking of him and it right now since about five minutes ago, Richie brought in a sizeable box, labeled Priority Mail (and $13 worth of postage to make it so.)

I will list the delights said box contained - two Pez dispensers which are, frankly, the prettiest I've ever seen because usually they are homage to Daffy Duck or such.  This time they are clear snow globes with a tastefully-drawn snowman in a red scarf with a black top hat posed in front of four green trees, each with a gold star on top.  The simplicity and sincerity of them are especially attractive.

Next out came a Skiing Snowman."  He's bent over his skis (the base of this statue) poles flying out behind him along with a red plaid scarf .  Seen from the front, a three-quarter view or side view, he is the epitome of grace and skill on a pair of skis.  However ... viewed from the back, it is immediately apparent that the Snowman has been hitting the egg nog with some vigor.  (Big Butt.)

Build Your Own T-Rex!  A pocket-sized puzzle which requires you to break apart day-glo dinosauer bones from each other and reassemble them until you have a recognizable T-Rex.  Bonus points:  the bones glow!  If the power goes out or you haven't paid the electricity bill, fear not!

The IQ Puzzle is composed of two twisted, heavy, curves of metal looped somehow around the other that without opening the box I can't describe exactly HOW they are twined together.  The minute I read the label "IQ Test - ages 8+" I knew we were doomed never to solve it.  But it is a lovely chrome sculpture and will look good on the coffee table.

But, wait:  There's more!  Richie handed me what looked like a huge chocolate roll in a box and as my taste buds fluttered with anticipation (and my brain reminded me that the Snowman isn't the only one with a big butt) I looked more closely and the box label reads "SUPER DOOPER REINDEER POOPER"  Thoughtfully included is a small cellophane bag of small, brown jelly beans.

This is not our first encounter with, for want a better phrase "poopy toys," as we have had the egg-laying chickens for some time.  At Easter, after the table is cleared, we used to have the two chickens race down it and we'd bet on the winning chicken.   The eggs are pastel colors.

Watching a wind-up toy totter forward dispensing jelly beans from its behind end, hearing the clack of the hen's feet or the clop of the reindeer hooves never fails to put me into paroxysms of mirth.  Ordinarily I do not appreciate "bathroom humor" but this is the exception that proves the rule.    I don't think anyone could not laugh.  Thank you, thank you, cousin John McG - you've outdone yourself and we very much appreciate it!

P.S.  Desperately searching the neighborhood for an 8 year old.

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