Sunday, December 31, 2017

Exhibitionalists Alert! Naked Gym Classes!

Exhibs, this is a real chance to flaunt it if you got it.  Hanson Fitness, Manhattan, is offering stark-naked  exercise classes three times a week, Monday through Friday (weekends you put your clothes on presumably.)  Classes are male only; female only and mixed.

Given the icy temps there; given the assumption that the gym is perforce overheated to accommodate avoidance of goose pimples, chilblains and The Shivers, I wonder how many clients will shortly be calling in, "I can't come to the gym today - I've got a horrible cold - I'm just nailed to my bed!"

The founder of this movement - naked exercise - cites the reasons and benefits:  "making you look and feel good naked!"  This could backfire, you know, with post-class hegiras onto the streets of New York where the police are very likely not to want to know if you feel better naked than clothed.  There may well be muttered imprecations regarding indecent exposure as the loser cop has to put the handcuffs on.  Betcha that the back of that cop car will be nice and warm!  Don't resist arrest; you will get a cold or the flu.  Or scars where none might be expected.  Gentlemen are especially warned for obvious reasons.  Gentlemen keep "Junk Yard Destruction" in mind and behave accordingly - i.e., docilely.

Mr. Hansen continues, "unrestricted movement!  keeps you cooler as you work out!"  Re this "cooler" thing well, a great big DOH!

Dubious claim:  releases endorphins, implication being "more of them" than clad exercise.  I think a lot of people could release a helluva lot of endorphins just walking into a gym stark naked.

For the extremely shy, flesh-colored underwear is permitted.  Don't get confused about what constitutes underwear and show up in the black lace or scarlet satin thong and nippleless bra get up.

Lest those living in England feel ignored, NaKeD Training takes place in Chiswick Sundays at 4 p.m.  The first session is January 14, 2018. 

The NKD trainer, Paul, also leads classes at "his private gym."  There is a picture of this Trainer Paul and his eyes look quite mad.  Go to him at your own risk, but bring a baseball bat or an axe to defend yourself.  I wouldn't trust him dressed for an Arctic winter.

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