Saturday, March 1, 2014

Hurray For Hollywood?

Not so much.  I've never been impressed by "Hollywood" probably because working at Universal, eating in the commissary, visiting shooting stages or sharing an elevator with Gregory Peck didn't impress me.  It did some of my friends though and I cleaned up - "I'll tour you around the studio if you'll buy me lunch at the commissary."

Back when I was single, my girlfriends Louise the Tease, Crazy Suzanne, Patty the Lawyer and I would all gather at my apartment to watch the Oscars.  We'd get knee-walking drunk and "critique," carefully noting who was drunk, who was high, who had visited an after-market tit maker and who really needed a new stylist.  A great time was had by all. 

Richie is totally uninterested in the whole thing.  If all of the starlets wore burlap bags, I doubt he'd even notice.  He finds the interviewers' questions largely inane.  Since we normally have seen exactly none of the films vying for an award, who won doesn't matter to either of us. 

However this morning's paper reminded us rather sharply how far off of the grid we've wandered.  It never occurred to either of us to throw an Oscar-themed party. 

 Some of the ideas ... hang a popcorn wreath on your front door; paint little tiny movie cameras on your fingernails, lay down a red carpet and photograph arriving guests, use movie theatre popcorn boxes...  Visit for more ideas.

I wish the party throwers and goers all well.  Bless their well-meaning hearts.  I salute them one and all.  But for me?  I will sit quietly in my armchair (until the drink hits me) and watch the show from our living room.  Richie will entertain himself by muting all of the commercials.   About half the time he forgets to un-mute them which causes me to scream at him.   However calm the Oscars may appear to be on your TV, it's not calm here.  You've gotta get your Oscar excitement from somewhere.

No comments: