Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Much Married

I read with interest this morning in Page Six that Elizabeth Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky is considering marriage to one Jason Winters. If the marriage does take place, it would be a Cougar Coup as she is 78 and he's 49. (29 years' difference)

Taylor's first marriage took place when she was 18. Subtracting 18 from 78 -- her current age -- gives us a total of 60 years married, divided by 8 (number of marriages) for a grand total of an average of A New Husband every 7.5 years. The Seven Year Itch? If she marries for the 9th time, that lowers her marriage frquencies to one every 6.66 years. I thought you needed to know that...

Which set me to wondering about this: If the first marriage is properly the white gown, big reception to-do, then what happens for Number 4? How do the men feel? How "fresh and new" can the bride be the 5th or 6th time around?

Miss Manners, Emily Post et al would tell us that the white gown is fine for a first wedding, but absolutely not for the second (let alone the 7th or 8th!) For any marraige after the first, the bride wears a tailored suit. Taylor's suit closet must be bursting at the hinges...

At the moment, sports fans, Taylor is one marriage behind Zsa Zsa Gabor who clocks in with nine. The most-married males of note are Artie Shaw and Mickey Rooney, tied with eight each.

Still, each cougar to its own. A 29-year-age difference? Pshaw! You're only as young as who you're feeling up, right?

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