Two Funny Dudes

"Freakin' Fabulous - How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate and Generally Be Better Than Everyone Else" by Clinton Kelly Simon Spotlight Entertainment $24.95 237 pages

He is the co-host of TLC's program "What Not To Wear" (which I've never seen) and his book covers a great deal of previously unexplored material. For example, interior noises at the dinner table -- upper half, apologize once (from behind your napkin) saying "Excuse me" NOT "Damned cabbage keeps repeating on me!" and go on eating; lower half, say "Excuse me,"leave the room and make no explanation upon your return.

You hold a wine glass by the stem, not the bowl, to preserve the temperature at which the wine was served. His grammatical tips on Lay vs. Lie (something most of us have had trouble with at one time or another) "Lay means to place something -- you lay a Xanax on your lover's pillow before bed." "Lie means to recline -- you lie around the house all day because you're hungover."

His is a fresh and funny voice.

"Tales From the Dad Side" by Steve Doocy William Morris $25.95 203 pages

Doocy is the Emmy Award-winning broadcaster and co-host of "Fox & Friends" (which I've never seen) and his is a much more mature voice. He and his wife are the parents of a son and two younger daughters, now college age. Doocy covers incidents from their births to today and compares a lot of these experiences with his own with his father.

The thrust of this book is that fathers are different than mothers who tend to be nurturers -- fathers tend to be worriers -- and "That's the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next 40 days called for a 20 per cent chance of light rain."