Suitably Chastised

Even as I typed this line in yesterday's column, I knew I was pushing the manners envelope and not in a good direction.  The line was:  "Despite the fact that sophisticates like myself have traditionally sneered at bowling, bowling shoes, accordionists and yodeling..."

My late mother's soft voice made an appearance in my subconscious.  "Dear, you do know that a 'sophisticate' would never describe themslfes as that and futher (a little louder) no 'sophisticate' would denigrate another's hobby or interests."

I thought, "Yes, you're right.  I apologize."

"Fix it," she said sternly. 

And then a friend forwarded a Letter to the Editor in the Las Vegas Sun-Tribune.  It had been written by the accordionist of some years standing at Batista's Hole in The Wall, Las Vegas.  It was brief and said, "Dear Sirs:  What does she know?  I cleared more than $200,000 last year playing my accordion.  Who doesn't love an accordian? 
Unsigned for Tax Reasons"

I don't love an accordion and he is the reason I don't.  Batista's is one of Richie's favorite restaurants in Las Vegas and we have been going there for years.  I think he likes it for the free wine (inferior) and the huge portions. 

The accordionist is, er, an extremely short person who comes right up to your table unasked and then blurts out rather patronizingly, "Where you folks from?"  Guests usually tell him whereupon he launches into the first eight bars of the approriate song.  Indiana?  "Back Home in Indiana" billows forth.  And then he quits playing and stares at you until he's handed a tip, generally $5 for eight bars of music!

If a concert pianist was paid $5/eight bars, they'd be driven on stage in a solid gold Bentley.  And it would be worth listening to at that!

Now I'm expecting a nasty letter from the Proud Yodelers of America, if, in fact, such an organization exists.  Since there are State Fair contests for pig calling then there probably is one.  (sigh)

At any rate, I apologize for having been insensitive to those wonderful special groups that make us the Americans that we are.  God bless you all.