"Something Big Is Coming Down!"

"Last night the Murphys and the Brodskys sailed in stately fashion into Charlie's, A New York Joint (preiously reviewed) for a bit of dinner.

We ate well, conversed with some vivacity and when I was through eating, excused myself to go outside for a cigaratte.  Happily it wasn't raining which it had been on and off most of the day. 

As I stood alongside the building, deep in thought, a young woman came tripping down the sidewalk toward me.  She was small in her  pants and hoodie top.  Just as she reached the door to Charlie's, she stopped dead and sniffed the air.  "What's that smell?" she wondered aloud.

"Oh, hellfire, a cigarette Nazi" I thought with despair ino my heart.  I held it up and said, "This?"

"No! No!" she said impatiently and sniffed noisily some more.  "I think I'm smelling sardines!  Do you remember when they all came ashore?"

"I certainly do; my husband and I spent an afternoon helping to clean up the marina."  No reaction from her. 

"I think they've come back -- (gesturing vaguely) All a this weird weather.  Something big is coming down," she announced ominously and she shuddered.  She added, "I was out in Ontario today and I smelled the cows.  My sniffer (pointing to her nose) has been busy today!" flipped open Charlie's door and slithered inside.

I thought, "Well, Daddy's gift strikes again.*  As I pondered this, the door swung open and a couple with two little boys came out.  One of the kids said, "Daddy!  What's that smell?" and Daddy sniffed and said gently, "That's just the way the ocean smells, son ..."

I finally remembered that Bob and his cronies had been sailing that afternoon and Bob didn't report seeing or smelling sardines or anything else for that matter.  We were still safe.

*Daddy's gift:  If there is a certifiably insane person in a crowd of 500 or more, then that person will immediately appear at his side, his New Best Friend.  Me, too.  Thanks, Dad.