The LA Times Is On the Warpath!

The doughty LA Times clearly feels that "the industry" (Hollywood films) was mightily insulted by comic Ricky Gervaise, host of last night's Golden Globe awards. Harumph-ing and muttering, the Times ran not one, but two articles in this morning's edition shaking their collective fingers at Gervaise. The tone was quite disapproving of such impudence on his part.

I thought Gervaise was a howl and the whole neighborhood probably heard my delighted roars at his cracks about various performers.

But let's be realistic here and look at the facts.

Charlie Sheen has had alcohol problems for some time as any of his three ex-wives would readily testify. All three marriages ended badly (restraining orders flew around like confetti.) Sheen now believes that the U.S. government was behind the 911 attacks and is quite public about this weird, twisted view.

Cher is 64 years old in a nation that says if you're 55, you're entitled to senor citizen discounts. God bless Cher and all of that, but the woman IS 64.

Robert Downey, Jr. was heavily into drugs beginning in 1987 and stayed that way for the next 14 years with numerous visits to rehabs and three drug possession arrests. To his credit, he is said to now be clean and sober. He's just not allowed to ever carry or use a gun again.

I thought Gervaise line about Bruce Willis being Ashton Kutcher's father was brilliant! Willis, ex-wife Demi Moore and her current husband Kutcher along with all three of Willis' and Moore's daughters are often photographed together; hell, they take vacations together! Sometimes Willis has a squeeze along; sometimes not.

Of course, factor in that I'm a sucker for British humor -- quick, darting and dry. That undoubtedly added to my approval rating for Gervaise.

But to pretend that any of the above are particularly outstanding as human beings and need the massive arm of the LA Times around their quivering shoulders is ridiculous. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime -- and if you did the time (which is common public knowledge) then don't be so damned thin-skinned when you're out and go into a pout.