Never Mind the Wal-mart People, Target Customers Scare Me to Death

"Wal-mart People" in the title above refers to the many photographs of ... interesting people, yes that's it! ... shopping in Wal-marts.

We went to Target because their Sunday flyer advertised "throw pillows" for $10 apiece. I needed a pair of flattish ones to use as seats on a French wooden couch we have. It already has two side cushions, fat because stuffed with lavender. I am not going spend $80 and upwards for what is essentially a fart containement, noise abatement device.

Found the cushions. Richie browsed the men's department and bought three t-shirts, then he went to "Automotive" where I found him drooling over polish-your-car waxes, potions, washes and God only knows what else. I found and threw into the basket an auto air freshener that looks like a clothespin - you stick it in the vents on the dashboard. $1.89 for four; two scents "Cucumber Mango" and "Clean Linen."

"We need candy for Halloween," he said suddenly. "It's not till October 31st!" I shrieked. Undeterred (as usual) he walked straight to "Candy."

There we found four or more (was blinded by the shine off of the bags) aisles, shelves packed with sacks and sacks of bite-sized candy bars, pretzels, kettle corn -- on and on they stretched.

A section had party decorations including foldout, glitter-covered tablepieces - a Gothic candelabra or a haunted castle. I bought the castle, which is purple and covered with glitter.

Another shelf held what looked like an ice cube tray, each space holding what looked like a human eyeball. Intrigued, I picked it up -- eyeball ice cubes? Except there was very little space for the water. I looked at the label more closely. They were candy! Can you possibly imagine saying, "Oh, do have another eyeball! There're only 50 calories apiece!"

The only bright spot in this terrifying place was: Hershey Kisses now come in caramel apple flavor. You can eat nine of them for only 190 calories.

But that's why Target customers scare me. They put out Gothic candelabra, set out 14 tons of candy and offer people an eyeball. Ick!