Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Wretched, But Interesting, Excess

Interesting as in: It's a train wreck! Don't look!

A man named Guy Fieri stars on a television show that travels around America visiting Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. His new book guides us to "50 of the best places you never heard of."

I'm not so sure I'd say "best places." Recipes from various establishments are included and my eyes boggled from my head at Fried Potato Salad. Bake a potato, cut it in cubes, deep-fat fry it and toss with mayo and mustard and pepper to taste. If you are hell-bent on eating this, oven-bake frozen French fries, cut them in chunks and toss with mayo and mustard. This dish reminds of mayo and mustard sandwiches and not pleasantly.

A recipe for jalapeno poppers from the BBQ Shack calls for you to marinate water chestnuts in a cup of soy sauce, cover with brown sugar and let it sit all night. Next day, cut and stem jalapenos and put two whole water chestnuts in each jalapeno. Now in my mind, I can see thse items and thre's no way in hell you could stuff two "adult" water chestnuts into a single jalapeno even with minimal cream cheese piped in and the whole thing wrapped in bacon and grilled.

There are some things that just defy good sense in putting them in your mouth. County Fairs have a ton of them -- deep-fried Snickers? Frosted, baked potatoes? (Made that one up, but it wouldn't surprise me...)

It's not that I spend my days sipping pink champagne and nibbling caviar. I can put together some really trashy stuff -- world's easiest dip -- small contianer of sour cream, add one-half red onion, chopped and sea salt. Eat with potato chips! Yeah, your cardiologist would love that one!

Nothing is more heart-warming (to me) on a winter's morning than creamed chipped beef over scrambled eggs. That's a hearty breakfast!

So clearly I'm not in a position to sneer at such as Blue Cornmeal Waffles or Cheddar Cheese Burgers with Jezebel Sauce (Southern classic; sweet and hot) or Smoked Barbecue Meatloaf.

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