This is the evening that I desperately miss my old posse -- Crazy Suzanne, Louise the Tease, Patty the Lawyer ... We would all get together and absolutely eviscerate the winners and losers. Alertly we spotted and called out those who were drunk or on drugs. We had a wonderful time!
Richie, bless his heart, is not a good substitute. The only way to insure his enthusiasm was to bet on the winners. Essentially he was reduced to cheering, "I won!" (and rarely) "You won."
It just wasn't the same as laughing at Sarah Jessica Parker's evident pride in her after-market headlights (they were nearly crawling out of the top of her dress) or the snarky look Angelina Jolie shot at "Jen" during her on-stage presentation (in a prom dress -- acquired in happier times?) Incidentally the apparently eternal triangle of Jen, Ben and Angie takes me back to high school. It's been four years, people! Four Christmases, four Easters ... you get the picture?
The infomercial for Hugh Jackman -- "Look! He sings! He dances!" Ben Stiller bombed -- I think there were creatures living in that beard... Penelope Cruz worked the Audrey Hepburn look very well ... Mickey Rourke doesn't clean up worth a damn. No matter what they do to or for him, he still looks like 40 miles of bad road. Sean Penn looks like a rat -- twitchy, pointy nose, out-thrust jaw, little squinty, raisin eyes ... The Broadway-style presentation of the five movies was really a great insult to the Academy (who are said to make movies) and no one apparently even blinked!
It was, frankly, a dull evening. Better luck next year! And an awful lot of people have been saying that for years -- to no avail at all.
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