In last night's Oprah Special on Prince Harry and his wife Me-Again I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Oprah did everything but suck Me-Again's toes. Truly, I'm telling you a Super Sucker Hoover sucks up less.
Now I understand why I never watched Oprah.
Maybe sucking up pays off in Oprah's ratings as there was a surfeit of giggles.) They winked and nodded just like in high school. Occasionally they practiced their acting chops by turning on the "Serious" dial.
To endear herself (futile in so many circles) Me-Again told an oh-so-cute anecdote about her first days being introduced to The Firm (the royals call themselves that) Harry was bringing to meet his grandmother, and Oh! Horrors! No one had bothered to show her how to curtsy! She didn't know anything about it! Sarah, Duchesse of York had to run out of the castle to the driveway and teach her.
Oprah was being shown around the couple's chicken coop - Chick Inn Hens. She graciously said she and Harry wanted to live "authentic lives." Huh? Live in a $13 million Santa Barbara mansion and keep chickens. Yep Chicky that's pretty damned authentic. She went on to say, "I just love to rescue things."
Among other loathsome traits I counted four times she used "sharing." For that alone, she has to die.
Stealing a page from Princess Diana' playbook, she threatened Harry with suicide because no one liked her. She was not being protected. Incidentally "protection" fluttered all the way through this dismal exercise in bad taste.
British social columnist Piers Morgan dubbed the whole "The Whine-a-Thon.
When Harry joined the party I sat up straighter to see if they would slobber all over each other as they usually do. They didn't. She just gave him the look* and threw a glance at Oprah. The look said "Aren't men funny? We rule!"
The look" Well known by misbehaving husbands; held in reserve by hellbent wives.
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