The Trouoble With Men Is Their Mothers

Recently, the upstairs toilet developed a thin streak in the laminated "wood" floor within the 3 in. of the toilet.   The streak widened into a strip and the laminate peeled back infinitesimally widened.  

I decided I could fix it by using a Phillips screwdriver point to clean it all out and then refill it with some kind of wood filler and then use shoe polish in the right shade to match the filler to the rest of the floor color.    

But before I tore  up the bathroom floor, I consulted with Dave of Silva Construction, a firm that has done all of the work here for 30 years.  He wrote back and suggested I check for a leak from a malfunctioning bowl seal.  I did.  Bone dry all the way around.  As  reported to back to Dave and then I told him my theory.  

I wrote back, "I strongly suggest it might be acidic urine during the male version of toilet paper:  shake and go."

His reaction, he responded was "Thanks for the big laff - I showed it to the rest of the office and they forwarded it to some 10,000 others."  So I wrote back, "Well good - I've got my own army so don't mess with me."

But this suggestion that males use a square or two to blot after urinating is not the first time I've had this idea.

Back in Y2K, I wrote Parade columnist Marilyn Vos Savant (means your scholar in French) a rather snotty Answer Lady and suggested that since we were starting anew in 2000 why couldn't all new mothers of baby boys, teach them from the beginning of toilet training to use squares of toilet paper to blot and then  go.  She never responded but I did hear huge peals of laughter from the general direction of the magazine headquarters.  That bitch.  

Dave or someone will come to take a look.