Wednesday, July 11, 2018

In Which the Author Gently Explains NATO

Currently much of the world is engrossed in the World Cup giving little if any thought to the NATO conference also in session today.    Both are equally as feisty.  Even though, so far, no NATO members have collapsed writhing in agony in an aisle unlike some of the more diva-like soccer players on the field.  Watching the grimaces of pain, the writhing bodies one wonders if the players actually have a secret contest going - something like the Oscars - with an award  awarded at a dinner at the end of the season.

Translating what the North American Treaty Organization (NATO) does makes more sense to me looking at it as a club that is devoted to defending members from enemies for a fee.  Mafia and protection racquets come to mind for some reason.

Some 28 or 29 countries - big and small - have banded together to provide personnel from their own military forces in the defense of smaller, more defenseless countries.  Their dues to be included in this program are an annual Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of 2 per cent (2%).

Obviously the bigger countries are going to give the most and the little ones - Romania, Latvia, Bulgaria , Slovenia are getting a bargain for their comparatively meager input.

At issue this go-around is the fact that only five (5) countries are in good stead with their dues.  The US (overly generous say some) pays in 3.61 percent.  Greece, Britain, Estonia and Poland all give just a little bit more than 2 per cent.  What surprised me was that Canada pays 0.99 per cent  and clearly relies on America to keep an eye out for them if Kim John Un miscalculates and takes out half of Western Canada.  Clearly they need a brick through a window to get their attention and then cause them to pony up with a threat of a veritable rain of bricks through windows.   During office hours.

So far, in some 40 years of US participation in "Mercenaries R Us" no US President  has gone after the low and slow payers until now.  Lo these many years, the Little-ies have lolled in deck chairs in the sand, and waved an idle hand at the Payment Due notices.

I say make'em pay.  Make them deposit what they owe for 2017 to start and deposit it in the NATO Receipts box and go back to active status.  Clearly it hasn't occurred to these countrys' bosses that slow payments may well result in slow service.

"Sorry to hear that, Spain (0.91) Belgium (0.85) Luxembourg (0.44) (aside to aide de camp "Such and such was attacked by a troop of Girl Scouts and needs bulldozers to move all of the boxes of cookies off of the roads - oh?  what's that?  (country)  hasn't paid in since 1946?"  Back to phone, "Sorry I think we have a bad connection.  Good luck with whatever it was you wanted.  Call back when you are free and clear of your debt to NATO.  Until then - good luck."  Seems reasonable to me.  Fair is fair - they are in breach of contract as they stand now which should make any "contract" null and void.   Mercenaries all over the world would rejoice.  "We're working again!"

No comments: