Dear God, There Really Is An App for EVERYTHING!

Full page ad, Sunday, December 31, 2017,  LA Times.  Weedmaps.com 

As of January 1st recreational marijuana use is somewhat allowed in California.  Smokin' dope is still against federal law, but California state law says, "Light up!  We don't care - as long as you and the farmers pay the proper taxes."

weedmaps.com offer to the genteel cannabis user a variety of services, among which are a map of dope sellers closest to you, and their proud boast that they've been in business since 2008; that they can show you more than 13,000 stores offering more than 50,000 cannabis products which are beautifully photographed, detailed descriptions, customer reviews and "expert" tips.

Curious as well as amused, I went online and found these tidbits for your delectation -

"Kush" one of the many cannabis nicknames is so called because it comes from the Kush Hindu mountains said to be one of the very few places in the world where it grows wild.  I am much more familiar with this use of kush:  taking a stick, banging an empty feed bucket out in the cow pasture while gently murmuring "Kush kush"

One enterprising firm is selling New Patient Recognition cards approved by one of the firm's resident doctors.  Readers were admonished to think of it as a "Costco Card for Cannabis."  New patient recognition  costs:
New patient forms - $59
The above with a photo ID - $79
Renewal of above - $45. 
They are open from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. with a live doctor to converse with you.

The nicknames and references I knew for marijuana (it was never called cannabis) back in the day were:  to smoke dope or weed;  "How come that last batch you sold me was all seeds?  A "blunt" was about the fatness of a cigar, but shorter.  A "phatty" was black jargon for a blunt.

Today's references seem much more inspired.
Rainy day woman - isn't that a Bob Dylan song? - Intellectual property theft!  Call your lawyer, Bob!
AstroTurf (throw back to grass)
Lefthanded cigarette

DISCLAIMER:  I am not advocating drug use nor advertising for weedmaps.com in any way, shape or form in this column.  I don't happen to smoke dope, but rest assured that I do not give a damn what you smoke.